Guidance Counseling
by Simply Sarah
Summary: A tale of lust and deceite that will have you on the edge of your seat. DL. Now COMPLETE!
1. Jealous Guy, Secret Smile

**Summary: A love triangle...sort of. Sometimes people think they're in love. Sometimes they know they are. And sometimes they know they aren't. (Just some thoughts to ponder.)**

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Logan's POV:

God, she's beautiful. I know, Logan Reese calling a girl beautiful instead of hot or sexy, must be something wrong with me. Well, maybe it's a problem…yeah I'd say it's a problem. You see, I'm in love with Dana; the beautiful girl who is asleep beside me, her head resting on my shoulder. The problem is…well actually there are a lot of problems, but the main one is she's with someone else. Someone else, someone better, someone else who loves her, who she loves.

That was a bad day; the day I heard her tell him "I love you". Never in my life did I think words could hurt so much. And she's saying this to a guy who is nothing like me. Well, the me I pretend to be, because all I really do anymore is pretend. I pretend to be a guy who's not in love with her. I pretend to want to be nothing more than her friend. I pretend to be interested in other girls. The pretending, it's really second nature now, I've been doing it almost five years, since I met her.

Oh, right though, I was talking about the guy, the guy she say's "I love you" to. The only thing I really have in common with him is the fact that I love her. Okay, so according to the girls he is good looking, but I wouldn't consider him in the same league as me, no one is. He's a year older, graduated salutatorian last year. Yep, he's academic, but not nerdy, and I'm a C average student. I don't see how he concentrates on school when he has a girl like Dana in love with him. I can never concentrate, she's always on my mind, and I think she barely even considers me a friend. He's athletic; but while I'm basketball and track (just like Dana), he's water polo, baseball, and rowing. Yeah, he's kind of preppy, which is _so_ not what I thought Dana's type would be. I know, he's sounding pretty horrible, so why does Dana love a pansy sounding guy like that? Well, as much as I hate to admit it, he's not so bad. On top of all those other things, the guy has a descent sense of humor, he can usually come up with a pretty good prank, and his motorcycle is pretty tight, even if he _never_ drives it above the speed limit. I think that makes it all worse; the fact that he's not a bad guy, the fact that he makes her happy. It makes it more hopeless, more painful.

Despite how absolutely horrible I always feel, knowing us is something that will never be; tonight, hasn't been a bad night. I know what you're thinking; shouldn't I constantly be completely miserable, because she loves somebody else? Yeah, that's right, and I am always pretty miserable, but some moments are less miserable than others. This is one of those moments. We just won the first basketball game of our senior year and we're on a bus back to campus. A bus full of sweaty, smelly, people doesn't sound appealing to most, but she sat next to me. Plus, the seats on the bus are high enough so that the only people who could catch me staring at her are sitting across the aisle from us and lucky for me they are asleep just like her. It's only rare times like these that I can look at her without having to worry about someone catching me. I know, stalker-ish much? But when you've basically spent four years of your life not being able to really look at the girl you're in love with because someone might catch on to your true feelings; these rare moments when no one is looking, when I can just truly look at her, they're undoubtedly the best moments of my life.

Okay, just in case she wakes up I really need to be doing something so that it doesn't seem like I've just been staring at her. That would be bad; she can't catch on to the fact that I'm in love with her, because then she'll probably start avoiding me. Why would she want to hang around some weird guy who's in love with her, who would do anything for her, when she already has that with someone else that she feels the same way for? So, here I am listening to "Jealous Guy" by Gavin DeGraw, it's kind of my theme song now, because that's what I am a jealous guy. I haven't done anything crazy because of the green giant that lives in me, not yet. It's a constant worry though. Luckily, I shouldn't have to see them together much this year, he's at Yale, all the way across the country. So, for right now it's almost like she's not in love with some other guy, she's just a girl that is my friend who I'm not willing to risk a relationship with because it would ruin…everything. It's not really much better, but I'm pretty desperate by nature now. God, I sound like Chase, in the pretend scenario I'm currently trying to live in. He's been in love with his best friend forever, never willing to tell her, I don't really know why, it's not like she's in love with someone else. That's why I'm kind of envious of Chase; he doesn't have to keep quiet for the sake of her happiness, he could tell her, it's a risk, but at least he has a risk to take. I could_ never_ tell Dana, it would hurt her, it would make her unhappy, and I could _never _do that to her.

So, here I am with the girl I'm in love with peacefully sleeping on my shoulder, and this is as good as I can hope for it to get. But, I don't like to think about things like that, like the true present, or the future. I'd rather just sit here and look at her, think of nothing but her immense beauty, because then my life seems far less bleak.

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Dana's POV:

In his out stretched hand is a bouquet of glass flowers. I can't see his face, but that's not really the thought running through my mind. Instead, its how did he know to give me glass flowers? I've never flat out told anyone, but I really don't like the idea of real flowers, they're the gift that dies. Glass flowers, are beautiful, delicate, and if always handled carefully, can last forever. Then his body and face came into view and it's…Logan! But I'm not acting surprised, I just smile and give him a quick kiss on the lips like it's something I do every day. Then I woke up.

I was laying on something warm and comfortable. It was Logan's shoulder; that must have been why he was in my dream, just because he's here. I don't actually dream about other guys, I don't dream cheat,…I have a boyfriend and he's wonderful. Before quickly closing my eyes again I glanced at Logan, he's staring out the window into the darkness and listening to his ipod. I quickly looked at the screen to see what he was listening to. I didn't want him to know I was awake, because I didn't want to remain awake. I'm so tired and comfortable. He's listening to "Jealous Guy", again. I've seen him listen to it a lot, I guess he really likes Gavin DeGraw.

It was weird that he was in my dream, but it really just must have been a proximity thing. Okay, so this wasn't the first time that Logan has popped up in a dream, but he's my friend, there's nothing weird about it. I mean, I love Sam, my boyfriend of two years. He's really great. But there was something else weird about my dream. It's just that I really don't like real flowers and Sam is always buying me real flowers for special occasions, and I tried to hint to him once that I don't like them, but he never got it. Glass flowers though, I've never told anyone that I actually really like glass flowers. I guess that's why the only time I get them is in a dream.

I'm sure if anyone ever does get me glass flowers, it will be Sam. He's really just so sweet and thoughtful and just great. We met in Paris, he was in the program too and he was transferring to PCA when the year ended. We got to know each other pretty well, we hung out a lot, but we didn't start dating until we got back PCA, the beginning of my sophomore year, his junior. Honestly, I kind of started to go out with him because there was someone I was trying to forget. Okay, so it was Logan, but it was just a stupid crush and I've been happily with Sam since. Liking Logan was just a phase, an idiotic adolescent crush. I mean, it was so stupid, I actually thought I missed him when I was in Paris. My relationship with Sam is a real relationship, it's not stupid or adolescent, it's serious and mature. I mean, our relationship is so…solid, that even though he's all the way across the country at Yale, nothing's changed. We talk every day and we're doing so good that I don't even really miss him. I think that might have sounded wrong. He's my boyfriend and I love him and he's gone so of course I should miss him, but then I don't really miss him. I…what I'm trying to say is I don't miss him because we just have such a good relationship that he can be across the country and everything is still…great.

Speaking of great things, we just won our first basketball game of the year. Logan played really great tonight, he's become a real team player, even when some of those team members are girls. He's matured a lot in the last few years. It's kind of weird, but I actually consider him a really good friend. He's not even as cocky as he used to be. Don't misunderstand, Logan still has his egotistical moments, but they're just that, moments; it's no longer constant. I don't think I noticed that mature side of him until after I was going out with Sam. Yeah, it was defiantly after, and he stopped hitting on me and just talked to me. Oh, God, how did he creep into my thoughts again! I swear he's so annoying. Well he's not that annoying in person, only when he wants to be, but he's really hard to avoid thinking about. Not that I should feel guilty or bad for thinking about him, I think about all my friends, and that's what he is, a friend.

I have just got to stop thinking and go to sleep already. If we get back and I haven't slept then I've missed out on sleep.

Hmm…my pillow is moving a little. "Hey, we're back," he whispered near my ear. The window must be open because I just felt this little chill run down my spine, but I can also feel his warm breath on my cheek, strange. I open my eyes, normally I hate waking up and I hate being woken up, but I must be in a really good mood or something, because I don't mind so much right now. My eyes met his. Why did we have to get back already? No, no, no, I did not just think that. I've got to get away from him now, there's something weird going on. I must be sleep deprived and delirious. I looked away and stood up. No one else was still on the bus. Everything is okay, okay? Just act normal. I grabbed my stuff from under the seat and walked off the bus, he was right behind me. It would be weird if I just took off and left him to walk back on his own, he's my friend. So I didn't run off.

He made conversation, "You played really great tonight." I can't believe he just complimented me! He _never_ does that. I looked at him absolutely shocked, not breathing, and my mouth hanging open. He looks at me smiling, he's noticed his effect, "What? Can't I tell you you're a great athlete?"

Okay, I seriously can't talk, I sputtered for a moment and said the only possible thing I could think of for why he was saying these things, "Ha ha, very funny Logan, I know you don't actually think any girl can play any sport."

He's nodding and biting his lip and looking at the ground, then he looked up and at me. What is going on with him? He looks so…serious. He said, seriously, "I used to think that, until I met you. Maybe other girls can't play, but you play better than most of the guys on the team."

Against my will, I'm smiling and blushing. Luckily it's dark so he probably can't see the blush. I looked down so he might not catch my smile too. Why is this affecting me so much? Okay , I've got to say something back, "Thanks, you played really good too."

He gives me that cocky, sexy grin and says confidently, "I always do." Whoa, no I did not just call anything related to Logan sexy. Though I am perfectly allowed to think such things; just because I have a boyfriend who I love, doesn't mean I'm not allowed to look at other guys. We've reached my building, "See you tomorrow Cruz," he says to me as he continues walking.

There's a voice in my head shouting, "You have to say something back!" So before quickly ducking into my building I said simply, "G'night." God, what is going on lately? Why was that so weird? And why am I smiling? Why can't I stop my self from smiling? I must just be really happy that we won our first game. Right?

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**A/N: Hmm...how does guidance counseling come into the story? That will be revealed next chapter, as well as a twist that you won't see coming. Someone is lying, and it's going to forever effect the lives of a few people. That's right, drama lies ahead...**

**Please review! Thanks!**


	2. Instant Answers, Mall Surprises

Dana's POV:

I can't believe they are making all seniors go to guidance counseling to help us decide our futures. As if we can't figure out what college we want to go to on our own. Though, I don't really know where I want to go. I just haven't had time to think about it lately. I've been really busy.

Tomorrow it will be two weeks since that first basketball game. We've had one game since and we won it too. All the time we've spent practicing has actually paid off, and believe me we spend _a lot_ of time practicing. Tomorrow night since we don't have a game, there's going to be this party at some cheerleader's house near campus. I was planning on going with Sam, who was going to be in town for the three day weekend, but he called this morning and said he can't come. He said something about having a research paper due that had to be at least fifteen pages. We're still doing great, so I don't really miss him, but I…maybe I do miss him. Things have just been weird lately and I thought seeing him would help, but now he's not coming. Basically, this guidance counselor isn't going to like me, because I'm in a bad mood.

At least her office isn't super cheery, I don't do well with cheery people.

"Good afternoon Ms. Cruz. I'm Ms. Burtonni. How are you?" She said politely when she came in. It's strange that she knew my name without having to look at anything, I mean I've never met her before.

"Fine," I said through slightly gritted teeth. Like I said, I'm kind of in a bad mood today.

"Okay," she replied doubtfully as she took her seat on the other side of her desk. "Well, let's start off with figuring out what criteria you'll be using to choose your college. Do you have any ideas about what you might like to do in the future, what you'd like to major in?"

"No, not really," I replied honestly. Is that bad?

As if she could read my mind, she responded, "Don't worry, you have plenty of time to figure it out. Okay so what are some other factors that might determine where you want to go? Do you want to stay near family? Do you have weather preferences? Friends you want to stay with?"

"I don't really know…I can't really imagine leaving any of my friends." I know that sounded weird coming from me, but they've become such a huge part of my life. They're like my family. It's going to be so weird to be without them. "I have a boyfriend, he graduated last year, he's at Yale."

Then she asked me another question I couldn't answer, "Would you like to stay with him?"

I love him, how could I think about going somewhere that isn't near him? But I've never wanted to live on the east coast. I don't really have anything against it, I just can't imagine myself there. I really like the west coast, and I always thought I'd just stay here. Is there something wrong with the fact that I'm not immediately responding yes to her question?

"I'll take that long silence as, you're not sure. So, I think you're going to need more time to think before we can really get started on narrowing down what schools you might want to look at. So, we'll set up another meeting for Tuesday morning, I'll send a note and get you out of your first period class," she said as she scribbled in her appointment book. She dropped her pen and looked at me seriously, "I'm going to give you some homework though. I want you to imagine saying goodbye to all the people you think you don't want to leave. If you can't imagine it, then you probably shouldn't be leaving them. I want you to think about what you really want considering your boyfriend too. Where would you go if he wasn't in the picture? Is he worth changing your dream for if it doesn't match his? Could you imagine your life without him?"

I muttered some kind of thank-you and good bye, and got out of there, fast. Have you ever had someone ask you a lot of questions really fast and you just had to respond without thinking? That's what her questions were like and I didn't like the immediate answers that popped in my head. I must be angrier with Sam than I thought. That has to be it, that just has to be why I…

"Hey, is it absolutely horrible in there?" Logan said coming out of no where and startling me out of my thoughts. He is so not someone I want to see right now. He is the reason everything has been so weird…the reason I needed to see Sam. I don't know, maybe he isn't different, maybe it's just my imagination.

Oh, right he had asked me if the guidance counselor was horrible, "No, not really." He gives me a questioning look, but waves good bye and heads in for his appointment anyway. He catches on pretty well; I was completely somewhere else when I answered him. Everything lately…I…the only logical answers for everything must be that I'm sleep deprived, and really mad at Sam for not coming because I miss him. That has to be why I thought yes to her last question.

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Logan's POV:

There's something off with Dana, but I can't figure it out right now. As hard as it is to leave her when I know there's something wrong, I can't stay, it's not my place to stay. So, I waved goodbye and walked into the guidance counselor's office.

"Hello Mr. Reese. I'm Ms. Burtonni. How are you?" said the woman behind the desk.

"Good. And how are you?" I asked with a grin. I have to keep my reputation as a ladies man, to avoid suspicion, so I'm going to have to flirt a little. I mean guys have talked about her, she's about twenty eight, been here since she was out of college, and she's hot. It's expected of me to hit on her. Though, no one would know if I didn't. I could always just lie to the guys if they ask. Yeah, might as well, either way it's a crappy situation.

"Not too bad Mr. Reese." She replied politely.

I interrupted her before she could continue, "Could we drop the 'Mr. Reese', it makes me think my grandpa is here."

"Why your grandpa and not your father?" She questioned.

"Everybody calls my dad Malcolm or sir, it was my grandpa that was always called Mr. Reese," I explained.

"Okay, Logan, you are here to try and figure out where you might want to go to college. Do you have any idea where you might want to go or what you want to do?"

I've actually tried thinking about the future a lot. Maybe she could help…I asked, "Is stuff I say to you confidential, like a doctor or lawyer?"

She seemed slightly surprised, but masked it well when she responded, "If you need it to be."

I started nervously tapping my fingers as I began, "I've been having some trouble thinking about the future. The thing is, there's really only one thing I want and I guess I'm kind of…obsessed about it or something because I can't get past it, I can't figure out what else I want."

"Okay," she began seeming very confused, "so, tell me what it is you know you want." I didn't say anything. I've never actually told anyone. My fingers were tapping very rapidly. She said guessing right, "Or is it a who?"

"It's a who," I said hoping that would be enough information.

"And what's the problem?" she asked not asking a for a name because my reluctance was obvious.

Hopefully she can help, "She…I…the problem is I love her and she's with someone else. She's _in love_ _with someone else_, and he loves her too, and they're happily together. And when I think about what I want, about the future, she's the only thing I want. If she's in my future…that's all I need."

She has this odd expression on her face, like satisfaction, "So, if you follow her, do you think you'll regret it?"

"No," I immediately replied. I've thought about this before, "Even if I'm following her to the guy she loves, even if I have to watch them together again…I've…there was a time that she wasn't in my life and even if I have to see her with someone else, it's better than not seeing her at all." The year she spent away from me, in Paris, I missed her more than I could have ever imagined. I don't want to miss her like that again.

She smiled at me and said, "Okay then it looks like you have a pretty clear view of what you want your future to be." I just sat there, kind of confused. Shouldn't she be asking where the girl I'm going to follow is going? As if she was reading my mind she said, "Since she's undecided we'll have to discuss your options later. Your grades aren't fantastic, so you might not be able to get into the same places as her. I promise we'll get you as close as possible to her though." I stared at her, my mouth probably hanging open; I didn't really notice, I was absolutely shocked. How could she know! She continued, "Don't worry, I don't think many people know, if anyone else at all. You're about ninety-eight percent less obvious than Mr. Matthews. It's just my job to know the students." I couldn't say anything. I can't believe she knows! She got up from her chair and sat on her desk near me. She looked at me with what looked like pity and said, "Logan, personally I don't think things are as bad as you think. Sometimes people only think they are in love. If you ever want to talk I'll always be here to listen, and like I said earlier all of this is just between us."

I managed to nod my head to show I understood and got out of there probably not so politely, I wasn't really thinking clearly. She knew, and even worse after everything I said, she doubts that my feelings are real.

Okay, today has not been a great day. Someone knows the truth, doesn't believe it, and there's something wrong with Dana. I have to do something to take my mind off of everything.

I was out of this Clinique shaving lotion I like, so I headed to the mall. I bought the lotion and was walking through the mall when I saw something that made me stop. There was this couple and by the way they looked my first thought was, "Damn, they need to get a room." Seriously, they were really heavy into it; she was moaning, they were panting, his hands were under her skirt, and hers were under his shirt. I took a few more steps and stopped again when I got a clear view of his face…O HOLY SHIT IT'S SAM!

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**A/N: SAM! And Logan beats him up and gets the girl and they live happily ever after... NO, sorry, it's not going to be that easy. This story is just getting started. Please keep reading and review! (Seriously, only about every one in sixty people are reviewing and I'd really like to hear your opinions if you have a minute.)**


	3. Option Three

Logan's POV:

Don't do anything rash. Don't do anything rash. Think this through; can't do the wrong thing. Right…I'm gonna kill him. I went over to the bastard, roughly grabbed the back neck of his shirt, and shoved him back into the wall.

"What the hell!" He yelled before he saw my face. Once he did it changed into a "gosh, I'm an idiot"/ "oh crap" face. Although I could argue that that "gosh, I'm an idiot" face is something he always has plastered on, but I'm getting off topic. So, he saw who slammed him into the wall and began to try and cover his ass (figuratively), "Hey Logan, man it's been a while. I just… um…alright, so I know you'll understand this, so no point in lying. See, Dana she's great and you can't tell her about this or that I'm here cause she thinks I'm back at school. I don't want to lose Dana, but she's still saying she doesn't want to do_ it_ and, you understand, guys have needs. That's all this is, you know she's" he said gesturing to the girl I ripped him off of, "just to fulfill the physical part she doesn't really mean anything. You understand man right? Just don't tell Dana and no one gets hurt."

What is he kidding me? Yeah, I understand how you cheat on the girl you claim to love, sure. I feel guilty every time I kiss another girl and Dana doesn't even want me. But…damn it...what am I supposed to do? Sam, the guy who is cheating on her, he is the guy she wants. And he's right, if she doesn't know she doesn't get hurt. Seeing her face when I tell her, that would be horrible. She probably wouldn't even believe me, it's not like I have proof. I need proof, just in case telling her is what I should do, because honestly I have no idea what to do right now.

I've got to play it his way, so he'll go back to the girl and I can snap a picture with my camera phone. So, I tell him, "Yeah, man I understand. No worries. Have a good weekend." And then I looked the girl up and down winked at him and left. Well, I went to go hide. Sam said something to the girl and then went back to mauling her. I took out my phone and started snapping away. Damn it, I can't get a good angle. Uh, oh he's seen me. Well, since he's caught on to the fact that I care enough about Dana to tell her, I might as well stop resisting that urge I've been feeling since I saw him. He came towards me, like he actually thought he was getting my phone away from me, and I punched him, in the face, hard. He fell to the ground; that felt extremely satisfying. But, as I walked away, just having done something that that jealous monster that lives inside of me has wanted to do for two years, I still couldn't smile. I mean, I have to go break the heart of the girl I love, but I don't know that I can do it.

I can't hurt her, but in telling her it's like I become someone who's hurting her by association. The worst part is, if I don't tell her she gets to remain happy, ignorantly so, but happy. So, do the honest thing and tell her and hurt her or lie and don't tell her and let her stay with the guy she loves?

I think I need someone else to help me figure this out, because I don't know what to do. Chase, I don't really get his way of dealing with the girl he's in love with, so I don't really think I should go to him for help. Michael, he makes a lot of sense usually, but he's kind of wrapped up in trying to help Chase with his problems and he has a new girlfriend. There's Nicole, but anything said to her is spread throughout school within the hour. Zoey, she can keep a secret, she's pretty smart about stuff, and she would give a girl's perspective; I guess I should go to Zoey for help.

Luckily when I got back to my room Zoey was already there, but no one else was. It was kind of weird and if I didn't happen to want to talk to her I would have questioned why she was there. So that's what I did.

She was sitting on our couch watching TV, I came in said hi, she said hi back, I sat down at my desk and started pretending to do stuff on my computer. I tried to ask casually, and nicely since I didn't want her to leave, "Are you waiting for someone?"

"Not really," she replied as she started flipping through channels, "I just wanted to go somewhere to get away, somewhere quiet. Dana's all mad and Nicole met a new guy so she's rambling, which just gets Dana even angrier. I didn't really feel like going somewhere public and your door was unlocked, do you mind?"

"No it's fine," like I said I needed to talk to her and now I had another reason to do so, "So what's got Dana mad?" okay that was suspicious, I need to cover, "Nothing that's going to mess up my team is it?"

"_Our_ team will be fine Logan," she said believing my cover, "she's just mad because Sam was supposed to come visit this weekend and he had too much work to do so he canceled. Don't worry even if she is still mad at our game next week she'll still play good, she always does." She stopped talking, but I didn't know what to say. Her face changed and she started talking again, "Can I ask you something seriously?" Oh crap she knows. She didn't buy my cover, she knows. I nodded, completely terrified. She continued, "I heard this rumor and I know rumors aren't usually true, but then I kind of heard it again and again. You live with Chase, so you should know…do you think he likes me, as in more than a friend?"

Okay, it's still an "oh crap" situation, but not the one I was thinking. What am I supposed to say to that? It's been five years, Chase obviously doesn't want her to know. I've got nothing, I'm drawing a complete blank; I don't know what to do again. Saying the first thing that came to mind, "Uh, what kind of answer do you want?"

She didn't really seem that confused, but she asked, "What do you mean?"

Crap, what do I mean? I developed this as I said it, "Do you want the rumors to be true?"

"Does it matter?" She retorted avoiding my question.

"Yeah," I said still figuring it out as I went along, "rumors don't matter unless you have something invested in them. So, what answer do you want? If you're asking me if they're true then you must have some kind of investment. So, what's probably more important than whether or not they are actually true, is what type of investment you have. Do you _really_ want them to be false? Or do you _really_ want them to be true?" Damn, I'm smart. That actually was true, good, and it completely avoided me having to tell her that the rumors are true.

She seems surprised that I made so much sense. Her mind obviously thinking over what I had said, "I don't know," then she stood up and said "I've got to go. Thanks."

I let her go, she has a huge thing to deal with now, it wouldn't help if I dump something else on her. But, I still don't know what to do about Dana. Part of me thinks that I'm being selfish because I want to tell her the truth. If I tell her the truth she'll be heart broken, but she'll also probably break up with Sam, which is something I've been hoping for since the second they started dating. But, no matter which way I try to spin it, if I don't tell her, I'm lying to her. I need serious guidance in this. Guidance! That's it! I could go to the guidance counselor. She already knows that I love Dana, it's perfect.

First thing the next morning, Friday morning, I went to the guidance counselor. Luckily her name was on the door because I kind of forgot it.

I knocked on the door, she said come in. As I did so, I said, "Hi Ms. Burtonni, can I talk to you about something? It kind of has to do with what we talked about yesterday."

"Sure, I'm free now, have a seat," She said as she gestured to the seat on the other side of her desk.

"You know how I'm in love with Dana, and I know you don't actually believe that but…"

"Why do you think I don't believe you love her?" She interrupted.

"Because you said yesterday that sometimes people only think they are in love," I explained.

"I wasn't talking about you," okay that confused me.

So, I moved past it, "Okay, well anyway yesterday I was at the mall and I saw Dana's boyfriend with another girl and I don't mean his sister. I confronted him and he said that since Dana wasn't sleeping with him he just went to other girls, or maybe just the girl he was with, he wasn't clear, to fulfill that 'need'. He told me not to tell Dana. And I took pictures of them with my camera phone, but none of them are very clear. You can't really tell that it's him in any of them. And I don't know what to do. I mean do I tell her and hurt her or lie and let her be happy with her cheating boyfriend. I think if I tell her I'm being selfish because then she would probably be single and I'd have a chance. Then if I don't tell her, I'm just as bad as her jack ass boyfriend."

After my rant she was silent for a minute. After what seemed like forever she said, "So you go for option number three. I wasn't talking about you for people who only think they are in love, but I was talking about her. I honestly can't tell you if she loves you, not at this point, but from what I can tell I wouldn't bet five dollars on her actually being in love with Sam. But, even though I don't think she actually loves him, it would still really hurt her to learn that he's been cheating and it would put you in a horrible position. If you tell her and you try to start something with her you risk becoming her rebound guy. So, you go for option three, where you see if she chooses you. It's still not the best scenario, but it is your best option."

It sounds like she's telling me to make a move on Dana. I must be misunderstanding because that is absolutely crazy. "I don't think I understand what you think I should do?"

She seemed ready for the question, "Well, like I said, it's not the ideal situation, but it is your best bet. I think that it's time you make a move on Dana…"

I said exactly what I was thinking, not being able to control myself in my shocked state, "What! That's insane! You're insane! That's the worst…"

"Logan!" she interrupted loudly, "will you let me at least explain it to you before you decide against it." She looked scarily serious and I was kind of curious, so I stopped talking and let her explain. She continued, "Okay, look I know it sucks, but thanks to the fact that you caught her boyfriend cheating you're in a really bad position. If you tell her, she could associate you with breaking her heart, or you become her rebound guy and those relationships usually end badly. If you don't tell her and don't do anything, she stays with him. I don't think she's in love with him, but you are in love with her, so go after her. I know it makes you look kind of scummy to go after a girl who's in a relationship, but if she falls for you, or has already fallen for you, it won't matter in the end. If she doesn't love you, then nothing will have changed; you'll love her, she won't be with you still. You don't have anything to lose, just something to gain."

I must be insane just like her because I'm actually considering this, "So, if I was to go with your plan, what would I do exactly?"

She seemed pleased that I was considering it as she responded, "Well, like I said, I only_ think_ she's not in love with Sam, so first you need to make sure that she's not. Have you ever heard that Aretha Franklin song 'It's In His Kiss'?"

And now I'm leaning towards she's insane again, "You want me to kiss her!"

"Yeah, that would be the best way to see if she's in love with another guy," she said with my obvious shock not rattling her at all.

"Explain?" I'm not getting it.

She did, "If she kisses you back or in the way that she kisses you back you'll at least be able to tell if she loves someone else. If you're lucky you'll be able to tell if she loves you. If she's doesn't kiss you back like she loves you the first time, don't get discouraged, because you'll probably have to work at getting her to fall for you a little."

"Whoa, first time? You mean this isn't a one-shot type of thing? And what do you mean 'get her to fall for me'? I don't want to make her love me. Nothing is making me love her I just do. And if she's going to be with me then I don't want to manipulate her into it; I want her to want to be with me," I ranted after her speech that made me think that hers was a bad idea again.

Once again my freaked out state didn't affect her thought out, calm response, "You are not going to manipulate her, but since she's technically with someone else, you might have to persuade her a bit, tempt her. You're not going to lie to her, you're just going to show her that she wants to be with you. You're known as a ladies man, you're going to woo her. Show her who you are, what it would be like to be with you. All of the things you resist doing because she's with someone else, start doing them."

"I don't think you want me to do everything I want to do. I mean, I've kept what I've told you really clean, if you know what I mean," I let her know to clarify what kind of things she thinks I should start doing.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with that, those kind of desires are perfectly normal, and if you think it would be something that would help her admit any potential feelings for you then there's really no reason to keep resisting those urges either," she tried to put delicately.

"No, thankfully she's not that type of girl. You have no idea how good it was to hear from Sam that they never went_ that_ far. I had, kind of, assumed they had," I admitted. That was a little weird to talk about so I tried to move on and get some answers, "So, what things did you mean for me to start doing?"

"When you want to hold her hand, hold her hand. When you want to kiss her, kiss her. When you want to tell her what you think of her appearance, do it. Just stop holding back altogether. Be the guy you would be if you were with her," She explained.

Am I completely insane for thinking this is a good idea? Or am I just that desperate that I'm willing to completely potentially make an ass out of my self to finally find out if I have a chance with her? Either way, I've decided, "Yeah, okay, I'm going to do it. I'm going to finally go after what I want."

She seemed pleased, but then she seemed serious when she said, "Logan, I think you are doing the right thing, but you have to understand that she may not love you. Just because she may not love him, doesn't mean she loves you and if she doesn't…just be prepared, because you might have to give her up, again, but permanently."

I nodded in understanding and sighed heavily before I said out loud, "Okay." I thanked her and said good bye. I know it's crazy and I haven't thought about it for very long, but I'm going to try it. I'd rather spend one minute being completely openly in love with her to find out if she could possibly love me back, than spend the rest of my life hiding the fact that I love her and always wondering what if I just tried to be with her. I'm going to go after the girl I love, I'm going after Dana.

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter will be Dana's pov as Logan begins his wooing. Just what will happen when he begins to give into his temptations? And how will loyal Dana react? **

**Thanks for reading (please continue to do so) and please review. **


	4. Running & Staying

**A/N:** I did include lyrics into this chapter, but it is not a song fic. There is a party, parties have music, thus some lyrics are thrown in. Not all of the lyrics of songs are included because they aren't all important. Only some of the included lyrics of the first song are important. None of the second song's are important, but the song is here in its entirety because while the lyrics aren't important, the complete lyrics are included because Dana has thoughts occurring throughout the song (it's to keep tabs really). The third song, the lyrics are important. You might question: isn't she always thinking? My response: No. Haven't you ever sunk into a moment? Into a comfort? Into a feeling? Keep all of this in mind. And, yes, all three songs were necessary. You can probably figure out their individual importance. If not, all will be revealed in due time.

That being said, once you reach the party part here is your optional play list if you have it: 1.) "Please, Please, Please" by Shout Out Louds; 2.) "Son's Gonna Rise" by Citizen Cope; 3.) "One Fine Day", Natalie Merchant's version.

* * *

Dana's POV:

I don't know how I was talked into going to the party tonight. I never really wanted to go. The only reason I was going to go if Sam was here was because he wanted to catch up with a lot of people, most of who will probably be there, so it made sense. So, since Sam isn't coming I wasn't going to have to go, that was until I saw Logan.

Actually, oddly, I didn't see Logan yesterday after I ran into him outside the guidance counselor's office. It's not like we had plans, or that I ever really have plans with Logan, but somehow we do usually end up hanging out after school is over, doing homework or playing basketball getting in extra practice. Okay, so there is the occasional movie or meal, but he's a friend and I go to movies with friends all the time and I do have to eat. There's nothing un-friend like about it.

Anyway, I didn't see Logan again until lunch today. I don't even know how he managed to convince me to go to this stupid party. Well, that's not exactly true. You could say he challenged me and I _do not_ back down from a challenge, which unfortunately he knows.

So, I was in line buying lunch and he came up right by me. I mean he was really close and I started to try and remember if he had always invaded my space so much, but he distracted me.

He asked (while I swear he was practically on top of me), "Going to the party tonight Cruz?"

"No," I replied as I quickly moved away walking toward our usual table. I don't mean mine and Logan's usual table, I mean he sits there too, but all of us do, the entire gang (Zoey, Nicole, Chase, Michael sometimes Quinn and/or Dustin). It's not like the two of us, just me and him, have a usual table together just the two of us, it's not like that.

He follows me of course because leaving me be would just be too easy. He asks, "Why not? It is a party to celebrate our wins."

"The fact that we won our first two games is an excuse to have the party, it's not actually for us," I argued back as I sat down at our group's usual table, but no one else was there yet.

He sat down across from me and continued to argue with me, "How wrong you are. You're forgetting that people don't need a reason to have a party." He smirking at me, he thinks he's cleaver. I scoffed, but I didn't retort. Yeah, okay, so maybe he did have a valid point. He continues, "So why aren't you going? I heard earlier this week when Sammy boy was going to be here that you were going and now that he's not, you're not going. I never thought you were the type of girl to who couldn't do anything without her boyfriend. Thought you were better than that Cruz."

He is such a jerk! As if he actually knows me. The little voice in my head that I hate listening too says "He's right", which is exactly why I hate listening to it. I swear it always sides with him. I reply angrily, "Who said that that's why I'm not going? And how did you know about Sam? Because I'm pretty sure I didn't tell you."

"First, Zoey told me that Sammy isn't coming anymore. She was over yesterday and she was talkative," he said kind of mechanically. Then he changed, something changed. He seems to be very pleased with himself when he says, "Your actions make it obvious that the absence of Sam is why you're not going. And I have to say I'm disappointed in you. Never thought you'd be that girl, but hey people surprise you." That last part about people surprising you, he was looking right at me, he was always looking at me because he was talking to me, but in that last part, it was weird, he didn't blink. And he's smiling and had this look like he knew something, something secret, something he wasn't going to tell. He didn't say anything else, he left right after those oddly intense words.

I can't let him be right. So, now I'm going to the party. I'm waiting for Zoey to come pick me up and go. She better get here soon too because I'm roasting. It's almost ten o'clock at night and I'm only in a denim mini skirt and red halter top, but it's still so hot out here that I'm burning up. I regret not wearing my hair up or bringing something to do it with now, but I wasn't about to bring a purse to a party. I keep everything I need in my pockets, it's safer given where I'm unfortunately headed.

We get to the party and at least the air conditioner is on, but with all the people it was still too hot. After about twenty minutes there, after running into and briefly catching up with a few still sober people I realize once again why I hate parties like these. Everyone's drinking or smoking something, which I don't really do. I don't have some super moral reason for not drinking or smoking, I just don't because I've found that if I do I don't play as well. I know a lot of athletes drink and/or smoke and maybe that's okay for them, but my body does not respond well to it, so I don't.

I'm against the wall of what I think is a living room with all the furniture moved out. There are a group of girls around me who haven't yet, but are planning to have a few too many. I don't really know what they're talking about, I haven't been listening. Two of the five girls leave and the space in the circle is quickly filled by Logan. Of course the space was right next to me.

He didn't even acknowledge the other girls there he just shouted to me over the blaring music, "I knew that'd get you here."

"And why do you want me here? Torture?" I yelled back barely able to hear myself.

"You need to have more fun," he yelled smiling and surprising me. Why does he care? And since when do I not have fun?

The song changed to one that I actually like. It's a few years old, "Please, Please, Please" by Shout Out Louds. He yells to me, "Dance with me."

_Long time ago _

_The times we had were so and so_

Dance with me? Does he not remember what happened the last time I danced with him in eighth grade? And why does he want to dance with me? Whatever his angle is, whatever it is he's trying to get, I'm not going to let him. "After what happened last time, I'll pass," I yell back.

_It was the worst day of your life_

"Come on I know you like this song," he quickly yells back.

_So I called your home your so-called father was on the phone_

_He wasn't easy to ignore_

How does he know? It's not like I've ever told him. Well, I simply have to know, "I do?" I question.

_But we're all happy cause the streets they're always there for us_

_And it's quite scary when you wake up in the same old clubs_

"You were humming it for like a year," He yells back instantly. I can't believe he noticed.

_It's getting darker and I know this time wasn't meant for us_

"Dance with me," He extends his hand, "Please, please, please," he playfully pleads with _that_ smile.

_So won't you please please please come back to me_

And I took his hand. I don't know why I gave in.

He leads me into the crowd of people dancing in the center of the room. It's dark, hot, and smoky in here. He twirls me, smooth move. Then he surprised me again, he's dancing like an idiot, absolutely horrible. It seems to be deliberate. Running man, how cheesy. But I can't help but smile and laugh and do the same. Normally, I'm not so willing to completely embarrass myself, but I don't know…I'm actually having a lot of fun…dancing stupidly with Logan.

_Come back to me_

_Please please please_

_Please please please _

Of course everything ends. And what came on next was another song that's a few years old. I don't remember the name.

We had stopped dancing, he's near me. He looks at me and says the magic words to make me stay, "If you _can't_ dance to this type of song I understand, we can stop." Worst part is, he knew it would work and I knew what he was doing and I let him succeed.

_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

I began moving to the music, letting him know I was staying. We weren't dancing purposefully stupid this time, it was normal, to the beat.

_Rollin' down a highway_

_Like a rocket_

This song's different though, I don't know how to describe it. It's different. We're different.

_God I'm headed to town now_

_Can't stop it_

Mainly my hips are just moving to the beat, and my whole upper body.

_With the wheels in my hand_

_As I stand_

_On the floor_

_Of the board _

_Of this car_

_On the road_

He's not too bad.

_Got this woman in the back seat_

_She my wifey_

It's too crowed in here. We keep getting pushed closer and closer together.

_In the middle of delivery _

_Man she saves me_

My eyes have looked...everywhere. His seemed to have been and are still on me.

_She picked me up _

_When I was down _

_On the road_

_With the wind _

_And it blowed_

He twirled me quickly again. Not as smooth though. I landed on his chest. My eyes locked with his. I backed away, but I didn't get far…too many people.

_Well the son's gonna rise in a mile_

_In a mile you'll be feeling fine_

_In a mile you will see, after me_

_You'll be out of the dark_

_Yeah you'll get your shot_

He continued to move perfectly with me, not taking my eyes from his, his from mine.

_Yeah the son gonna rise in a mile_

_In a mile, you'll be feeling fine_

_In a mile you will see, after me_

_You'll be out of the dark_

_Yeah you'll get your shot yeah_

This song's…hotter, that's how it's different. That's the only way to describe it…hot, steamy-ness to it. I ripped my eyes away from his, it was…I should get away from him.

_Rollin' down a highway_

_Like a rocket_

_God I'm headed to town now_

_Can't stop it_

_With the wheels in my hand_

_As I stand_

_On the floor_

_Of the board _

_Of this car_

_On the road_

A girl tried to cut in, he put his hands on me, on my hips, and pulled me closer.

_Got this woman in the back seat_

_She my wifey_

_In the middle of delivery _

_Man she saves me_

_She picked me up _

_When I was down _

_On the road_

_With the wind _

_And it blowed_

Another girl tried to cut in. Why doesn't he just dance with her? No, he had to pull me closer…at this point we can't get any closer.

_Well the son's gonna rise in a mile_

_In a mile you'll be feeling fine_

_In a mile you will see, after me_

_You'll be out of the dark_

_Yeah you'll get your shot_

It's too hot in here. It's not like were dancing really exhaustingly, I shouldn't be having this much trouble breathing.

_Yeah the son gonna rise in a mile_

_In a mile, you'll be feeling fine_

_In a mile you will see, after me_

_You'll be out of the dark_

_Yeah you'll get your shot yeah_

He spun me again, but only half way. I was wrong we could get closer, only it's my back that's closer to him. He spun me so my back was to him and pulled me so close to him. His hands are burning into my lower abdomen. He's swaying us to the music.

_Rollin' down a highway_

_Like a rocket_

_God I'm headed to town now_

_Can't stop it_

_With the wheels in my hand_

_As I stand_

_On the floor_

_Of the board _

_Of this car_

I closed my eyes. Here, now, this is just good, really good.

_Well the son's gonna rise in a mile_

_In a mile you'll be feeling fine_

_In a mile you will see, after me_

_You'll be out of the dark_

_Yeah you'll get your shot_

No, no, no, no, no I knew I should have left. This was a bad idea. I do not like being here with Logan. I do not like being here with Logan. Voice in my head I hate: "If you don't like it so much then why are you still in his arms, surrendering lead to him, with your eyes closed?" Damn it I hate that voice! I ripped myself away from him and turned back to face him and tried to continue dancing like it was nothing, because it had to be nothing, it was nothing.

_Yeah the son gonna rise in a mile_

_In a mile, you'll be feeling fine_

_In a mile you will see, after me_

_You'll be out of the dark_

_Yeah you'll get your shot yeah_

It was nothing. It was nothing. It was nothing. It was nothing. It was nothing.

Oh, thank God the end of the song. Now GET OUT FAST!

He gently grabbed my hand as the next song came on. Seriously, who is choosing this music? "One Fine Day", Natalie Merchant's version, who plays this at a party?

He's smiling and looking around curiously he says, "Odd song choice, but I can dance to this and I bet it's a dance you don't know, not yet. Come on I'll teach you."

Say NO, walk away, run away, just don't stay because I have a boyfriend and this is wrong. Voice in my head, "If Logan is just a friend then what's so wrong about it?" That's right, Logan is just a friend, we have only been dancing. The first dance was fun, and the second one…I was delirious because of the heat, it was not intense and I defiantly was not enjoying being that close to him. Now the song has changed, there's less people in here so it's not as hot, so why shouldn't I stay? I won't be delirious from the heat because it's not as hot and he's just a friend.

_One fine day_

_You'll look at me_

_And then you'll know our love was_

_Meant to be_

I took his, once again, outstretched hand and he held it, rested my other hand on his shoulder and his other hand went to my waist. He kept distance between us. I knew it was all in my head. Is this a waltz he's leading me in? I think it is. I can't believe Logan can waltz and it seems so can I, with his lead. I must be getting really tired because I really just want to close my eyes and rest my head on his chest, or his shoulder if I can reach it.

_And one fine day_

_You're gonna want me_

_For your girl_

Is it over already? Wow, it was a short song.

See stupid voice, I danced with Logan and it was perfectly innocent.

Some Killers song came on and he's still holding my hand. It might have been innocent but I shouldn't dance with him again, three times is enough, three times too many when I have a boyfriend who I love.

But he didn't ask me to dance again. The music seemed louder, he leaned in and said, "It was fun, but I've got to get back to campus. I've got an early morning tomorrow. If you've had enough fun for tonight and want to go too, do you want a ride?"

"Sure, thanks," I immediately replied because I never wanted to be there in the first place so naturally I wanted to leave. He didn't let go of my hand until we were all the way out of the house, through the hoards of people.

The house the party was at wasn't that far from campus, but since the ride back was silent, it felt like it took an eternity. I don't know how to describe tonight, but it was just different. A different that seems good for a minute then something brings Sam popping into my head and I feel bad, guilty. And there is no reason I should feel that way, I'm not doing, nor have I done anything wrong. It's not like I'm cheating on him, I'm just having a good time without him here, that must be why I feel guilty.

As we were walking back towards the dorms the silence was really getting to me, so I asked something that occurred to me, "What are you doing early on a Saturday morning?"

He had been looking at the ground, but I had to go and talk to him so now he's looking at me, "I like using the track when it's empty."

Surprising again, "You get up early on a Saturday morning to run?"

"What you don't believe me?" he says looking at me seriously, but with a small smile.

I do actually, I can tell he's not lying, "No, I believe you. Running really is the only thing worth getting up early for." And I'm serious too. Running is one of my favorite things to do. It relaxes me, clears my head, makes me feel free.

"Wanna join me?"

What? "Then the track wouldn't be empty." Why does he want me to come, or is he just being polite? But since when is Logan polite?

"But it's not like it would be crowded," he points out and continues, "Besides you like to run too and I can share…sometimes."

"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow," I said with a smile as I walked into my building.

"Seven, don't be late," he informs before the door to my building shut behind me.

Why did I agree to that? Probably just because I love to run…yeah, that's it.

So, the next morning I go meet Logan at the track and he was the one who was late. Although, I already expected that, he's never been very punctual. I started running even though he wasn't there. After I had made it around the track a couple of times he showed up and started running, nowhere near me.

See, nothing weird is going on. It was all in my head. He was not making plans to hang out with me, he was not flirting with me yesterday, he has not been inappropriately close (that has just been due to circumstances like all the people at the party pushing us closer together). This usually helps me clear my head more, I just need to concentrate, concentrate on running.

Right as I was finishing my forth mile I got this really bad cramp in my right calf. I hobbled over to the football field that's in the center of the track and sat down and as soon as I did Logan was there.

"Something wrong?" He asked like he was actually concerned. Why does he care? Though I guess it would have looked pretty strange to suddenly stop running and collapse on the grass.

"Just a cramp," I said as I started rubbing said cramping calf.

He started shaking his head and said, "Well, you're not going to get it to go away very fast doing that." I glared at him; he is so arrogant sometimes. Apparently now he knows everything. He moved closer to me, to my legs and said, "Here let me." I opened my mouth to tell him no, but his hands were already massaging my cramping calf and it did feel better. I hate it when he's right. I took my hands away and perched my upper body up on them as he kept massaging the cramp away.

After a few minutes he finally looked back up at me and asked, "Better?"

"Yeah, thanks," I said as he took is hands away and turned. He was just sitting, facing me, looking at me. Okay, now I'm thinking I was wrong again, there is something going on with him, because suddenly this feels…unnerving.

I am so tired of this I just have to say, "What? If I have something on my face will you just tell me already?"

He looked away, thank God. Is he blushing? Why would he be blushing? This is really getting weird. His behavior is starting to scare me, make me really nervous.

He looked back up at me and said, "No, there's nothing on your face, there's nothing wrong with you, you're perfect." Now he's really really scaring me. This isn't right. I have a feeling that if I just look away now everything will be alright, but my eyes aren't moving, they aren't leaving his.

Maybe I'm sick. My stomach doesn't feel very good all of a sudden, it's all…fluttery. And swallowing is…impossible. So, there must be something wrong with my stomach and my throat. And my leg is fine so I really need to leave because I _should not_ be here. But I also seem to be frozen, completely immobile.

And faster than the speed of light his lips are suddenly on mine. My eyes widen in shock for half a second before instinctively fluttering shut. His fingers are gently caressing my jaw as his lips have caused me to completely stop thinking and suddenly I'm kissing him back, my hands and arms not moving from holding me up. As soon as I started kissing him back, which was probably literally only seconds after he started kissing me with those thought blocking lips, I thought I felt him smile, but I couldn't really tell because he stopped kissing me.

I instantly opened my eyes and immediately my brain turned back on and…Sam.

I want to know why he stopped…no I mean started; I want to know why he did it in the first place. I should look at him, but I can't look at him. He didn't give me any time to process anything he got up and was gone from the field, the track, in the blink of an eye.

Logan kissed me. Logan kissed me!

What the HELL is going on!

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**A/N:** What the hell_ is_ going on? That's a question for Logan to answer, after all he is the one doing the wooing. That, of course, will be in the next chapter and I know this chapter was long so I'm going to try and start making the chapters shorter. Plus, I really want to get back to Dana's POV since I've kind of left you hanging on her complete reaction (yes I did just hint that things are not what they may seem).

I hope you enjoyed reading and please please please review.


	5. UnConfuse Me

The last twenty-four hours have been incredibly confusing.

I'm hiding out under the bleachers. I know that sounds weird, but it seemed like a good idea a moment ago. I'm not exactly thinking clearly.

I kissed her, I kissed Dana. I didn't plan on it…just…we were there and…everything…I couldn't resist. I got caught staring at her and I didn't hold back when she wanted to know why. I thought that she would laugh it off thinking I wasn't serious or hit me thinking it was a mean joke and I wasn't serious, but she didn't. She kept eye contact and there was just something in her eyes like she was nervous. Dana nervous, I never thought I'd see the day. I didn't think it was possible but then she kind of started chewing on her bottom lip, I don't even think she noticed, but I just couldn't resist anymore.

I had been watching her after I quickly escaped and she just sat there in the same spot not moving until now; she got up and started running the track again. Why would….she's trying to clear her head. She runs to clear her head and relax and feel free, I know she does, and now she's running after I kissed her. Maybe I'm not the only one who's confused.

I honestly had no idea what was going to happen because everything lately has been really confusing. Like yesterday, pretty much the entire day I kept feeling like I had a chance with her one minute and then the next everything would change and I had no chance in hell.

That probably doesn't make much sense. I'll explain, yesterday I started to try and woo her, as Ms. Burtonni put it. I had to get her to the party because I had to dance with her. I needed to dance with her because I needed to show her that I'm not the guy I was when we met, I'm better, I'm better for her.

Dancing for us didn't exactly go well in eighth grade, so I figured if I show her that I can dance with her now it would be a subtle show of growth. I couldn't really decide on what type of dance we should do and I ultimately decided not to decide. Why limit myself when I can show her that I can be anything she wants? The first song was to show her that I know her because I know she likes that song and to show her we could have fun together. The second song was to show we move well together and I was hoping it would show that we have heat. Then the last song was to surprise her with a little romance.

I wasn't sure how she'd take all of it. The first song went well; she seemed to be having fun. The second song was weird a bit. She seemed into it and it got kind of intense. Like I said though, the second song was supposed to show heat and that I can move well with her, that we make a good team. And keeping my hands in appropriate places was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. She was there, moving with me, not much space between us, and I got to touch her because I had the excuse of dancing, so…yeah holding back was definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And probably about ten seconds before I was going to spin her back around to face me and do something really stupid and kiss her, she suddenly pulled away. I thought everything was going great, but I don't know, she stopped it anyway. I was thinking that that was a bad thing, but I'm hoping that she felt the intensity too and that she backed away because she thought it was wrong because she's in a relationship. I know that she's the type of girl to feel guilty, but I hate that I'm the one that she has to feel guilty about. Then I'm also happy that she feels guilty because that means she does feel something when she's with me, something of a romantic nature. Speaking of romance that was kind of the surprise I was going for with the third song. The dance lessons my mom made me take one summer really paid off. I waltzed with her. I lead her flawlessly, which I hope showed her that she can trust me; she's safe in my hands. I also hope that during the waltz she wanted to eliminate the space that I intentionally left between us, I hope that she wants to be close to me and that she noticed it. Just because she didn't close that space doesn't mean that I don't think she wanted to. I know that even if Dana wanted to she'd be too stubborn to actually do it or even admit it to herself. That's where the bulk of my challenge comes in.

About twelve minutes ago when I kissed her I received the biggest surprise of my life. She kissed me back. SHE KISSED ME BACK! And I could tell, I swear I could tell, there's not some other guy, she's not in love with someone else and defiantly not Sam (Thank God!). I was so stunned she kissed me back and that that stupid song is actually right, you can tell by someone's kiss how they feel, that I kind of panicked. I didn't even plan on kissing her then and I definitely didn't plan on her kissing me back and, God, did she kiss me back. Yeah, it was without a doubt the best kiss of my life.

Yet, now I have a problem. It's a problem I never thought I'd have and I'm really glad that I have it, but, still a problem. I have a chance with her. I actually have a chance, one singular chance. And it seems that part of Dana might actually not hate me for taking that chance. But that woman is the most stubborn person I have ever met and it's not going to be easy to convince her that…I'm the guy for her.

I don't know what to do now. I can't mess this up, because it's a thin line between love and hate. One wrong move and she could end up hating me, when really I want to show her that she could love me. At least I hope that I'm interpreting everything right. Maybe all these signs I think I see that tell me that she feels something too are all just wishful allusions on my part. I really hope that it isn't all imaginary, because I've got to come up with a _rea_l plan, because I just _really_ kissed her. Now what should my next move be?

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**A/N: I know this chapter wasn't very exciting, but I felt it was necessary to hear Logan's side of recent events. And now it's time to get back to Dana, which hopefully I'll be getting to soon, because I'm kind of in a Dana mood.**

**Keep reading! This story is still in its beginning stages and I promise you will not regret continuing. Just to give you a taste of what is to come, here are some future chapter titles I am considering: "Stealing Kisses", "Push Push, Shove Shove", "Shameful Pleasures", "KISS ME!", "Lost in Lust", and many many more. Things are going to get extremely interesting (I declare with my diabolical laugh that I don't know how to type). **

**Thank you for reading and PLEASE REVIEW. **


	6. Reoccurring Thoughts

**A/N: While having a great weekend, I managed to find time to write this chapter. Enjoy!**

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His soft lips, the damp blades of grass suffocating beneath the palms of my hands, his finger tips gently resting on my jaw line, so lightly touching me it almost tickles, my breath caught in my chest, dizzy, dazed, warm, then gone.

I woke up with a jolt, slick with sweat. It's Monday morning, forty-eight hours since he kissed me. I've successfully avoided him since.

It was a joke, right? Why would he kiss me? It just doesn't make any sense. And because he did it I'm in hell. First, because it's 5 am, the sun isn't up yet, and it's about 100 degrees out, so all the heat has made it feel hotter then hell, literally. That is a hell that's for everyone, everyone who is trying to survive this unbearable heat wave. Then, I'm also in my own personal hell. Consumed by flames of guilt, confusion, and anger, because how could he kiss me? I mean why…why would he kiss me? Why would he do this? And why do I feel guilty? I shouldn't feel guilty. I couldn't help _him_ kissing _me_. It's not like I initiated it or told him to do it. I shouldn't feel guilty.

Then the voice in my head I hate says, "You should feel guilty because you can't stop thinking about that absolutely fantastic kiss."

Yeah, okay, so it was good. Well, good is an understatement, it was…no, not going to finish that thought. I have a boyfriend.

I've got to get out of here. I feel like I'm suffocating. I put on my gym shorts and a tank and went out side. The track, the freedom of running there, it was my sanctuary. I can't clear my head there anymore. I tried to, I really tried to. Right after he kissed me I ran and ran and ran until the track seemed too confining and I ran back to my room and collapsed in exhaustion. I kept running and trying not to think, but it didn't work, no matter how long I ran.

I've pretty much been board up in my room since. I would go across the hall to Zoey and Nicole's, but I don't want to risk seeing him, not until I figure this, him out. No, I don't live with Zoey and Nicole. I did share this crappy little room with Lola until this year, this year she's at some acting school in New York. And yes, this room is horrible. It's tiny compared to 101 and I don't have a TV or anything. So, I've just been sitting in my dark little room thinking and sleeping. I've tried sleeping a lot, hoping that when I woke up it would be a dream…or rather nightmare.

"You meant dream," says that voice.

No, I didn't. This is a nightmare. He kissed me. HE KISSED ME! And I'm with Sam and I love Sam. And he just can't kiss me.

He probably would have kissed anyone. He didn't even care that he can't kiss me. Or maybe that was his plan. Maybe Logan never did grow up like I thought, maybe he's still the self-centered pig I met in eighth grade. And he kissed me because he knew he couldn't. He shouldn't have kissed me.

Voice, "Maybe he shouldn't have, but he did. Then you kissed him back."

It was a reflex. It was a reflex! IT WAS A REFLEX! Someone kisses you, you kiss them back. It's like when the doctor hits your knee with that thing and your leg kicks, it's a reflex.

"Sure," it says dripping with sarcasm. That voice is going to drive me insane.

My feet have taken me to the beach.

Sam called. He calls every morning, but he knows never to call too early on a weekend. I like my sleep. He called five hours after Logan kissed me, three hours after I collapsed from running my self exhausted. The second I heard his voice I started feeling even guiltier and I shouldn't feel guilty. I can't feel guilty, I didn't do anything to feel guilty for.

"Well, there is the thing where you CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!" it screams again, refusing to be ignored.

And as if the voice controls nature, the first cool breeze I have felt in days gently blows. I feel it on my lips, this tingling sensation and I close my eyes. My cheeks burn as it streams through my mind again. His soft lips, the damp blades of grass suffocating beneath the palms of my hands, his finger tips gently resting on my jaw line, so lightly touching me it almost tickles, my breath caught in my chest, dizzy, dazed, warm, then gone. And my eyes shoot open again in realization that it happened again. I thought of it again. The voice is right. I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know why. I don't want to know why. I just want to forget, forget all of it.

Maybe I could forget, I just need to know why he did it. But I don't want to see him, not until I've figured him out. I don't want him to know that him kissing me confused me. I can't let him know that anything he does actually has any kind of effect on me, because he can't have an effect on me. He doesn't have an effect on me.

I just…don't know why he would kiss me, and it's driving me crazy. Maybe I need someone else's perspective on this, but who am I supposed to tell? Zoey has been oddly withdrawn lately. She probably has some kind of problem of her own, but I'm not going to pry. Nicole, she can't really help telling everyone everything she knows and I definitely don't want everyone to know. Michael, he's pretty cool, but he's occupied by his new girlfriend Jenny. Chase is gutless. I mean he's been in love with Zoey for five years and still hasn't told her. I just couldn't have much faith in anything he would say. Lola, takes forever to write anyone back and I actually already tried calling her, but I always get her voice mail. She's always been forgetful about charging her phone. Quinn, she's a pretty good friend, but I don't understand half the stuff that comes out of her mouth. Which leaves me with no one to talk to, no one to tell, no one who can help. And I have to see him tomorrow. We have two classes together. I'm going to have to see him still confused.

It's Tuesday morning now. I slept very restlessly. The kiss; it kept drifting back into my mind and stirring me from sleep, I'm exhausted.

As soon as I plopped down in my seat in first period I had to drag my self up. I forgot about the guidance counselor. Trying to distract myself from weekend confusion I have partially done her little assignment.

I entered her office.

"Good morning Miss Cruz. How was your weekend?" She began politely, but she seriously doesn't want to know. I don't even want to think about it anymore. I'm tired of thinking about it.

I lied, "Okay, how was yours?"

"Good, thank you for asking," she's really polite. She continued, "So, did you think about what friends you might want to stay with and what you want concerning your boyfriend?"

Not really. I thought about some of it on Friday, while I was bored at that party. Since then I haven't wanted to think about_ him_ anymore or Sam. I began with what I knew and hoped she wouldn't ask me to continue, "I know I'll keep in touch with Zoey and Nicole no matter where we all end up. I'll probably keep in touch with Michael too. I don't know about Chase. I keep thinking he might want to forget about all of us so he can forget about Zoey. But, I keep hoping that he'll just tell her, then I'd probably keep in touch with him through Zoey. I don't really think I'll have trouble keeping in touch with anyone I want to. There's always myspace."

Then she asked the dreaded question, "So, what about your boyfriend?"

Logan kissed me. That shouldn't change anything. That hasn't changed anything. Though there was nothing it really could change. I didn't know what I wanted to do concerning Sam before Logan kissed me and I still don't know.

I don't want to deal with this now, "Look, I lied when I told you that my weekend was okay. It was horrible and I just can't do this now."

"Well…" she began but was interrupted.

Logan came charging in, "Hey Ms. Bur….Oh." He stopped in his tracks seeing just whose meeting he was intruding on. He held up a pass and explained, "It said eight thirty."

"I'm running a little behind this morning. Would you mind waiting outside?" she said politely not noticing that I was glaring at the idiot.

Oh, I can't take it anymore. I got up and yelled at him as I approached, "You son of a bitch! What the hell were you thinking?" I was right in front of him now and really angry, so I slapped him, hard. He didn't seem too surprised and he shouldn't have been. What he did was insane.

He obviously knew why I slapped him, but he asked just to annoy me, "What was that for?" And for dramatic effect he's holding his cheek that I slapped. What a jerk.

My words were dripping with fury, "For what? You kissed me!" My eyes clouded with rage. I spelled it out for him, "You! Can't! Kiss! Me!"

He crashed his lips on mine, slipped his arms under mine and pulled me so close. I heard my self let out a whimper of concession almost as soon as I felt his lips and my eyes shut immediately. And I was kissing him back, again. And there wasn't a thought in my head. For the first time since the last time he kissed me, there wasn't a thought in my head. Blissful silence because I was kissing him. And the fact that I can't kiss him and it's completely wrong to kiss him should have been screaming in my head, but it wasn't. So I just kissed him back.

He pulled away after about only a minute. My eyes were still closed, my mind clouded. He whispered huskily in my ear, "Apparently I can kiss you. We'll continue this later."

No, no, no, no, no. This can't be happening again. And later, it can't happen later either. (Obviously my brain is working again).

I heard him tell Ms. Burtonni he'd be back for his appointment in a little bit. I opened my eyes and stood frozen still. I can't believe it happened again. What the hell is going on? Why is he kissing me all of a sudden? I can't let this happen. I can't let this happen.

This can't be happening again. I must be hallucinating. I had to check so I asked Ms. Burtonni (the witness), "Am I on glue or did he just kiss me?"

"He kissed you," she confirmed, "Again apparently." Does she seriously want to talk to me about this?

I don't think I care anymore. I need to talk to some one. "He can't kiss me. He knows I have a boyfriend. He's met Sam, he knows Sam, he knows I love Sam. Why is he doing this?"

"I have no idea," well she's not very helpful. She continued, "What I do know is that at least this second kiss, you kissed him back."

"It's a reflex." I growled in defense.

"Okay," she said doubtfully. "Can I ask you another question?"

"Why not?" I'm so tired of everything.

"Are you wearing a push up bra?" That was no where in the realm of anything I was expecting. Where is she going with this?

Not that it's any of her business, but I said, "Yeah, so?"

She smiled and asked, "When was the first kiss?"

"Saturday morning," seriously what is she getting at?

"Have you seen him since?" she caught.

"No," oh no she better not be…she can't be suggesting…

She was smiling again, "Do you have classes with Mr. Reese?"

I nodded. She can't seriously be trying to accuse me of…

"Are you seeing your boyfriend today?"

"No," I have to be wrong about where she's taking this.

But then she asked, "So why the push up bra?"

Okay no, "You are not seriously trying to accuse me of wearing a push up bra because I was definitely seeing Logan today. That's completely ridiculous! First, I could always just ditch the two classes I have with him. As my record shows, I don't have any objection to ditching. Secondly, I don't pay that much attention to what I put on just to go to school. I get up as late as possible and just throw anything on."

She doesn't seem convinced but she changed the subject anyway, kind of, "Speaking of your record, you have a few tarnishes on it. Your sophomore year you broke Bobby Grossman's hand."

"He grabbed my butt," I defended.

"He claims it was an accidental graze," yeah right.

"Yeah, he 'accidentally' grabbed and squeezed my butt," I said sarcastically.

"Okay," she conceded but continued, "Then last year you broke Jeremy Farmer's jaw."

"I only punched him once," I defended again, "it's not my fault his jaw broke, he must be in serious need of some calcium."

"Why did you hit him?" not that question again. I didn't answer it last year and I'm not answering it now.

"He said something he shouldn't have," I tried to reply simply.

She wasn't going to let me get away with it without a fight, "What did he say?"

"Just something he shouldn't have," I insisted, "Look, the months he spent with his jaw wired shut should have reminded him that he needs to think before he opens his fat mouth."

Please don't ask what he said again, "You've completed your punishment for these, so the fact that they happened isn't my point. My point is that you're a tuff girl. You can defend yourself and if you really didn't want Mr. Reese to kiss you, you wouldn't let him."

"Well he's taken me by surprise," I defended. I didn't know he was going to kiss me either time otherwise I would have hit him. I would have.

"So far," she must have heard what he said to me about later.

"And next time he tries it he's going to seriously get hurt," I probably shouldn't be saying that to a school faculty member, but she started it.

"If you say so," she sounded doubtful. After reading what I did to those other guys how could she doubt me?

It seems like she's taking his side and I'm not going to put up with that, "I'm just going to go. You seem to be siding with Logan and I don't want to hear it."

"I'm not siding with him," she quickly retorts, "but from what I saw you didn't hate anything about that kiss. And you might be determined to think that it was a horrible occurrence, but you obviously don't really think that. And that is what I was trying to help you see. I don't know anything about your relationship with your boyfriend or your relationship with Mr. Reese, but I saw that kiss. The_ second_ kiss. And you didn't hate it, you didn't dislike it, not at all."

She's wrong. She's wrong. She's wrong. I assured my self as I simply turned and walked out. She yelled to me that we needed to meet again Friday morning before classes. I didn't respond.

I went back to my first period class, sat down, and tried to pay attention. But, I couldn't concentrate.

His soft lips, so firmly, determinedly on mine, his arms tightly around my upper and lower back, pressing me into his firm chest, the sound of my whimper, the enticing smell of his cologne, can't breath, no thoughts, don't care, dazed, warm, then gone.

No. This can't be happening. God, let me wake up from this dream…I mean nightmare.

"You meant dream," that voice, that stupid annoying voice, retorts again.

No, I meant nightmare. I assure myself again, I meant nightmare. Ms. Burtonni is wrong. And this can't be happening. This can't be happening.

Later can never come, never.

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**A/N: Don't expect me to keep updating this quickly though. This quick update was a rare occurrence. And those potential chapter titles I mentioned in my note at the end of last chapter are still to come, so keep reading. **

**Thank you for reading! And thank you to those of you who took the time to give the great reviews! But as always _please review_. **


	7. Wanting Her

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I've been celebrating my birthday for about a week so it was hard to find time to write this long chapter. Hope you enjoy reading it!**

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Today is going to be a good day. Although what day wouldn't be absolutely fantastic when I get to start it kissing Dana?

The best part is she kissed me back again! She did slap me first, but I expected that. Actually, I expected worse. She's got a mean right hook; broke Jeremy Farmer's jaw last year. So, the fact that she went easy on me, I'm hoping it's a good sign. Especially since right afterwards she still kissed me back.

She's leaving Mrs. Burtonni's office. She doesn't look happy. I hate that I'm causing her to be unhappy. And if stopping all of this would make her happy I would stop. But when she kisses me…I just don't think that she regrets it. I don't feel her wanting to stop it. And I really hope I'm right about that.

After she was out of sight (Yeah, I was hiding watching her again. I need to join stalkers anonymous or something.) I went into my appointment with Ms. Burtonni. We were continuing to discuss my future and by that I mean Dana, because she's what I want my future to be.

"Hey Ms. B," I said coming in and taking a seat.

"How are you doing Logan?" she said kind of distantly. I hope that doesn't mean she has bad news for me.

"Um, well, pretty good I think. I guess it really depends on what she said after I left," please be good.

"Well," she began, but she seems hesitant, "Dana never asked for anything to be confidential, but I can't in good conscience tell you anything she said." Damn it. "But, I told you I would help you so let's just say she's right where we thought she would be."

"Denial?" which of course isn't good, but it does mean that there is something worth denying, which actually is pretty good.

"Yeah," she confirmed. "And I should warn you that while I was trying to show her why she kissed you back, since she was trying to convince herself it was a reflex, I may have steered her in the direction of physically trying to get you to stop."

I'm not completely sure what she's talking about, but "You told her to hit me?"

"A little bit," she said seeming sorry.

Well, I know Dana better, "Its okay. The idea to try and stop me would've occurred to her eventually and I already planned on not giving her the opportunity to hurt me."

"Good and I think it's all going very much in your favor," she voiced.

"Really?" I've never been entirely sure.

She's smiling now, "Yes. It was a good idea for you to interrupt her meeting, and really good move kissing her like that. Seeing you two together…she's definitely in denial when she tells herself that kissing you back is a reflex. The decision whether or not to kiss someone is always a decision, not a reflex. She kisses you back because she wants to."

YES! I can't resist a huge smile when I say, "So, you think I have a chance with her and that I should continue with this whole plan?"

She smiled and said the best thing, "Absolutely." And with that single word it was like there was a significant load lifted from my shoulders. I'm not crazy for thinking that I'm the guy that should be with her, but for probably the first time in my life I know that this, her, is something I can't be cocky about.

I can get anything I want…except her. I've wanted her from the start, but she has always remained out of my grasp. Then somehow it became that I didn't want her, I need her, her and only her. And that, her, the only thing I need has remained the one thing I can't have. So, I can be cocky about the fact that I'm incredibly good looking, that I'm an extremely talented athlete, and that I'm a pretty suave guy when it comes to all but the one girl, but I can't be cocky about getting her. I cannot assume that she will come to need me the way I need her. I cannot assume that I'm good enough for her or that if I am lax in my pursuit of her things will still turn out as I hope.

I got Ms. Burtonni's opinion on another Dana related manner and left in time to get to my second period class as it was beginning.

I sat anxiously through the next few classes.

I've kissed her twice. I've gotten away with kissing her twice, but what if kiss number three never comes? That's the problem I realized I am faced with. Every kiss may be the last. At any moment everything could hit the fan and I could lose her, and she is everything, so I could lose everything. If she…there are just so many scenarios that lead to all of this going wrong…so many reasons for her to not want me. Every kiss could be our last…I'm going to have to make all of them really really count.

It's lunch now so I have two options. One, I can _not_ go and sit at our usual table, leave her alone, and play it safe. Or I can go with option number two, in which I do go sit with her and our other friends. This second path is the risky path; a lot of things can happen. It hasn't seemed like our friends know about my kissing her, but going over there could confirm that she has told them and they hate me for what they will assume is just me being an ass. Or when I go over there it will provoke her to tell them about my recent jerk seeming actions and they will all hate me. And yes, when they hear that I've been kissing the currently in a committed relationship Dana, they'll hate me. I mean who wouldn't hate the guy that seems to be forcing one of his friends into cheating on her boyfriend? They're going to hate me unless I can get her to not hate me for all of this.

So taking all of this into consideration, should I stay away and play it safe or go over and risk the entire future of my plan?

I'm going to go over there. I know that that makes me sound like an idiot, but something occurred to me. I have seen every single one of our friends today and not a single one has seemed to know about the fact that I kissed her three days ago. Furthermore, most of them have also seen her this morning after the second kiss and then seen me either again or for the first time and no one seems to know about the second kiss either. This has me thinking, why wouldn't she be complaining to everyone? Why hasn't she told everyone so they can hate me like she wants to (but hopefully doesn't actually)?

So I decided to go over and press the issue. Sit with her and our friends and see if she caves and tells them. And if she still doesn't tell them then I'm going to try and figure out why she hasn't told them. Because, why hasn't she told them?

Yeah, I'm going to go over and sit down…as soon as my legs decide to work. I'm just a little nervous, this is kind of risky. Ten minutes from now I might not have any friends.

I've been standing just outside the cafeteria, I can see the table as I've been having this mental debate, then she saw me. Our eyes met and she didn't quickly look away…she lingered. My legs seemed to find their motivation, unfortunately a hand held me back.

"I need to talk to you," Zoey said preventing from me getting to Dana. I would worry that this is about Dana, but Zoey looks confused and maybe desperate too.

As much as I'd like to just tell her later and go to Dana, I have to say, "Sure."

She motions me to follow her and doesn't say anything, not until we got all the way down to the lake.

"You know how I was telling you about those rumors the other day?" I nodded, "Then you said that stuff about wanting or not wanting them to be true?" I nodded again, "Forget about it okay, just forget I brought any of it up."

Well who would have guessed… "You want them to be true!"

"I do not!" She said completely lying, she's really too moral for her own good sometimes. It's completely obvious that she's lying. She likes the fact that Chase likes her.

Maybe I should try to figure out if it's because she likes Chase back or she just likes the attention of someone being interested in her. Well, I probably can't make it back to the table in time to make any kind of progress with Dana and it's been five years so I'm pretty curious, "Yes you do. Now do you like him back or do you just like that someone likes you?"

She's looking pretty mad and venerable because she's been caught, "Neither. I knew talking to you was a bad idea. I should have just waited for someone better, which would be anyone else."

Wow, I think that's the most hurtful thing she's ever said to anyone (and it wasn't that bad); I must have really struck a nerve. I didn't retort, I just let her leave. She knows I had an effect on her and now she's left to think about it.

I checked the time; ten minutes until class begins, three before the first bell, and time to get my plan in motion. I had gotten three pudding cups at lunch and went to one of the hallways I know she takes on her way to our class. I dumped the pudding on what would be the right side of the hallway for the direction she's coming from ensuring that she would have to walk on the left side. Off of the left side of the hallway across from where the pudding is taking up the right is the men's bathroom (one of many actually). I cleared the bathroom out of all guys and taped an out of order sign on the door.

I cracked the door open to watch for her and at seven minutes until classes started she came strolling by said door. In the span of ten seconds I grabbed her wrist, pulled her into the bathroom, locked the door, and pulled her back to me. I didn't give her half a second to realize what was going on before I pushed her hair to one side and started kissing her neck. I don't know if she would have tried to get away, but I didn't give her the opportunity securely wrapping my arms around her stomach.

She was rigid in my arms and asked with hints of fear and excitement, "What are you doing?" Was her voice a little higher pitched than normal?

"Following an impulse," I said kind of breathlessly and kind of lying. This was a very intricately planned out impulse. The impulse to grab her and kiss her is always there I just had to plan it out, so it wasn't completely a lie.

She's still ridged…I'm gonna have to fix that.

Since gentle isn't working I started…ravishing her. My right hand stayed on her stomach, my fingers sprawled out across her with the tips of my thumb and index finger just grazing the bottom edge of her bra. My left hand went to caress the curls of her hair. And I started sucking on her in a little more desperate, urgent, and rougher manner. As much as I would like to stick to one spot, leave a mark declaring her as mine, I know I can't, not yet.

About forty-five seconds of my new tactics and she's sinking into me. She's relaxing into it and her breathing is shallower and either I forced her into tilting her head making kissing her easier or she did that on her own (I hope she did it).

Oh God does she taste good. Kissing her is better than I ever imagined. She tastes and smells like the Amazing Grace stuff she wears. I'm completely intoxicated by her and I just want her. Want her.

Crap. I have to stop, I have to stop. I have to stop myself from continuing, because I _really_ want to continue.

But she's giving in. Her eyes are closed and…oh…she just made the sexiest little gasp/whimper/ moan of a noise.

Damn it I have to stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

I pulled away from her neck. Whops, how did my hand get there? That hand that was just beneath the edge of her bra, drifted down. Not _that_ far down, believe me I would have noticed if it went _that_ far down. But the tips of my pinky and ring finger of my still sprawled out hand were resting just under the waistband of her fairly low rise shorts.

Her eyes were still closed, her breathing still slightly erratic. I took the note from my pocket and pressed it into her hand. I gave her a quick peck just at the end of her jaw line and whispered in her ear still sounding kind of out of breath, "See you in class."

I left the bathroom, I left her standing in the bathroom. I checked my watch; about a minute to get to class, perfect.

As I headed for class I didn't hear her behind me, but I was determined not to turn around and check. Seeing her right now would not be the best thing. I need too cool down before I get to class. That…with her…it was really intense.

I tried my best to calm down. The forty second walk to class was extremely long with me trying to think…baseball, but that didn't work, I don't really like baseball, plus I kind of associate it with her since the only time I've gone to a game was to see her boyfriend play. Fishing…but fishing lead to an image of Dana in fish net stalking from last Halloween. My mom…my mom. My mom is working. So, I arrived in class fifteen seconds before the bell rang thinking about my mom to keep my cool.

The bell rang and Dana isn't here. Damn it, I hope that last little tryst didn't push her into ditching, I need her to be here.

"Okay everyone put the sonnet with your name on it on my desk and the one without your name on it in this folder," our English teacher Mr. Jensen said holding up a manila folder.

Everyone got up to turn in their sonnets and Dana snuck in with the crowd of students. Yes!

Everyone returned to their seats. Unfortunately mine is on the other side of the room from hers. We sit alphabetically and she's at the left front of the classroom with Brooks sitting in front of her (yeah she's in this class with us) and I'm in the back right.

Mr. Jensen distributed the nameless sonnets, one to every person, and we were supposed to read them out loud. We're studying Shakespeare's sonnets and he decided we should each have to write one and then he decided that a lot of us need practice in how they should be read, hence the two versions. And Mr. Jensen is a pretty cool teacher so he realized that he might get better results on the poetry if the rest of the class doesn't have to know who it's coming from. I definitely wouldn't want anyone to know what I wrote. I did however want Dana to know that it was about her, that's what the note was, the note I left her with. All it said was, "It's about you."

I actually wrote a couple of sonnets for this assignment. I let Ms. Burtonni pick out the one that she thought was best. She said my other option wasn't hiding the fact that I'm in love with Dana enough. She doesn't think that Dana should know that quiet yet, it might scare her to know this early.

Mr. Jensen is randomly selecting people to read the sonnet they were randomly given. I've read mine, Dana has read hers, but the one I wrote hasn't been read. What I'm pretty sure was Dana's has been read. It was kind of about a haunting, but not of something weird like a ghost or other supernatural things, but more of a thought. It was very interesting, well to me at least because everyone else in here is at least half asleep.

Mr. Jensen caught on to everyone's lethargic state and clapped his hands together loudly as he asked Alex Mormon to read the sonnet he had. Alex sits in the exact center of the room and when all of us turned to face him that meant Dana and I are facing each other…

"Um…It's titled 'Wanting Her'" while Alex reads my sonnet. And yes I know it's not a very good title. I don't really do well in this class.

I made eye contact with Dana hoping that she'd realize that this is mine, which means it's about her.

"_I want to kiss her,_

_Always the thought in my head always_;"

She's returning the eye contact and she just got a little paler.

"_Her lips cloud my thoughts,_

_Soft as silk,_

_The sexiest shade of pink usually,_

_Nervous bottom lip biting brings change,_

_Momentary loss of color,_

_And then flush full red rose red_;"

She hasn't looked away, but she has continued to loose color, except her checks, she's blushing a little. I made her blush!

"_And when I kiss her the always thought stays,_

_And when it ends my only wish is to kiss her again_,"

She doesn't appear to be breathing anymore…I hope that that's a good thing.

"_Let her kiss me again, leave me breathless again,_

_And if it be breathless forever,_

_The touch of her lips, the passion of her kiss,_

_Always it would be worth it always_."

The room was silent. It wasn't that bad was it?

Zoey whispered something to Dana and her eyes unfortunately left mine. Dana just nodded her head in response to Zoey's question. I think I'm not the only one who noticed that Dana was pale, blushing, and not really breathing. And I did all of that and I really hope that that is a good thing. Maybe it was still coming on too strong. God please let this work out for the best.

"Well, that wasn't exactly the right format, but it did have one of poetry's key ingredients," Mr. Jensen prompted and waited for someone to say something, no one did so he continued, "…passion. It had passion so let's take a closer look at this one." Oh crap.

"Who wants to tell me what this is about?" no one responded again so he continued, "Well, let's decipher some of these lines. We'll start off easy, what is kissing clearly a metaphor for?"

Straight A Brooks had her hand in the air, "Her."

"Exactly," Mr. Jensen confirmed smiling at his favorite student. Although I guess she should be his favorite, she really is the only one who responds to his questions and her answering does mean that he doesn't randomly ask any of the rest of us, her being favorite isn't a bad thing. "So, since the kiss is a metaphor for her what is really being said?"

Brooks takes this one for the class too, "Well, at the beginning he's saying that she's always on his mind."

"Yes, and the fact way that he describes her lips and the fact that the metaphor for the mystery woman is a kiss tells us that this girl is…" He prompted waiting for someone to finish.

"Someone he's attracted to," Zoey finished.

"Yes, this girl isn't his sister or mother or friend, she is most definitely a love interest," please don't say the L-word again, she's not supposed to know about that yet. "So what does the line, 'Nervous bottom lip biting brings change tell us' tell us?" Zoey didn't respond, she's seems to be thinking about it, a lot of people actually seem to be, but no one is responding again. He continued because of the silence, "Any guy could notice that a girl he is attracted to bites her lip, but he knows _why_ she bites her lip." He paused again and waited for someone to catch on. I hope no one catches on and he stops talking!

"It's more than an attraction," damn Zoey.

"And where can we see that confirmed?" He had to go and ask.

The guy with the poem jumped in, "The last three lines, 'And if it be breathless forever, The touch of her lips, the passion of her kiss, Always it would be worth it always.' It's like he's saying she's worth more than everything, anything else to him."

"Exactly, and where does it tell us that he isn't being deceitful to himself, that he hasn't built her up in his head, isn't look at her with rose colored glasses?" Please stop talking! Dana has just been getting paler. Ms. Burtonni was right, it was too soon for this much. But Dana was supposed to be left to decipher the poem for herself. Everything I was trying to say wasn't supposed to be revealed. She was supposed to be unsure of what I was saying, not positive.

Zoey again, " 'And when I kiss her the always thought stays,' that's saying that when he's with her he still wants to be with her. Like, whatever he thinks of her, whatever image he has of her in his head, being with her doesn't change that."

"Yes, and can we tell if this is good or bad. Does he delude himself as to who she really is and really being with her he still isn't really seeing her? Or does he know her, the real her, and to him that is his ideal image of her, the real her?"

"He knows the real her and his real image of her doesn't falter when he's with her," Zoey quickly answered.

"Your proof," Mr. Jensen requested.

"Because he knows why she's biting her bottom lip," Zoey supported.

"Exactly," he said smiling, "so, it's not iambic pentameter as it should have been, but it was a great effort and very thought provoking so good job to whomever." Well that's a first. He usually deems my work something along the lines of adequate. See, Dana makes my life better in many many ways.

Mr. Jensen was scanning the room looking to tell someone new to read their poem when he saw Dana and asked, "Ms. Cruz are you feeling alright? You look ill."

Damn it, I made her look sick. That can't possibly be a good thing.

"I'm fine," she said in a small voice. With Zoey giving her concerned motherly look she quietly assured her again that she's fine.

I know Dana. As much as my sonnet obviously had an effect on her, she's not going to give up and let it effect her. She's not going to give in to what she really feels, or maybe it's just what I hope she feels.

Class continued to pass slowly. She didn't look at me, not once, after the sonnet.

Once the bell rang that signaled the end of class and seven minutes to get to the last class of the day, (which was chemistry for me and Dana), I considered stealing a kiss in between classes. But, I decided not to. I definitely plan on kissing her again today, but I think I should give her a little break.

We share the same lab table in chemistry, just the two of us, lab partners. I was looking forward to it. I was planning on not resisting the impulse to hold her hand during class, but she didn't come to class.

I was disappointed, but I wasn't really that surprised. The bathroom and the last class and them discovering all my meanings like that, it was a lot to take in at once. I probably wouldn't have wanted to come to class and be forced to sit by me either.

After class I decided to go see her…and then not to go see her. I made it all the way to her hallway and realized it was still probably too soon to kiss her again. I don't want to overwhelm her…and rushing to see her right after class how predictable is that? I want to keep her guessing.

Then I heard her voice. It was coming from 101 not 102 which is her room across the hall. She was talking to Zoey and like I said I should be in stalkers anonymous or something because I listened outside the door.

Zoey, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," Dana assured again, but Zoey must really not have been buying it because she had to add, "I swear."

A short pause of silence…

"Just…everything…I need to get away." No! She can't leave. Please tell me I haven't driven her away. "The All-American Rejects are playing at The Catalyst tonight. Come with me?" Oh, thank God.

"It's a school night," Zoey argued.

"The concert starts at seven we'll be back by the ten o'clock curfew and I know you've already done your homework," Zoey didn't say anything, "Come on, I know you think Tyson Ritter is hot." Zoey laughed a little but still didn't say yes so Dana continued, "Please come, I really need to get away from…everything and I don't want to go alone."

That did it. "Okay," Zoey finally agreed.

I heard enough. It looks like I have somewhere to go tonight too.

I didn't want to have her get to the concert, see me, and run, so I just decided to come late.

When I finally went into The Catalyst, which is this pretty cool club downtown, it was dark, as expected, and they were playing one of their early songs, "One More Sad Song." I immediately started to try and discretely search the crowd.

I saw her. She's towards the front middle of the club. Her and Zoey are dancing freely. She looks so happy. I wish I could cause her to feel that happy.

As the song was ending she looked my direction and I…I was mesmerized and didn't think to hide as I should have. She told Zoey something, looked at me again, and turned around and left.

They began playing "Move Along" as I began to move in the same direction as her.

The chase of her continues…

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**A/N: First, sorry for the typing errors in the previous chapters, I suck at proof reading, but I am trying to go back and fix them. Second, about 80 people read the last chapter within the first twenty four hours that it was up and in that same time frame only four reviewed. If you are following this story, if you like this story, or if you hate this story, please let me know. The ratio of reads to reviews is very discouraging. And thank you to those of you who do review, I truly greatly appreciate it. Reviews are a really great way of getting me to try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible (which will be late Friday at the earliest or Thursday the 11th at the latest). Oh, and a little while ago I put this long rant on my profile about Zoey 101 if you read it I'd love to know what you think, so PM me. And the only reason the poem above was italicized was to distinguish it better. And The Catalyst is an actual place where The All-American Rejects played about a year and a half ago, but it is no where near where they are. Okay, I'm rambling...So, I hope you enjoyed and PLEASE REVIEW. **


	8. Shameful Pleasures

**A/N: Thank you so much to all of you who reviewed!** I updated as soon as I possibly could to show my appreciation. On the down side, only 11 percent of people reading are reviewing, and sadly that is an improvement. After you read, please review this story, and then go review the other stories you read. If you've ever authored something you know how discouraging it is to watch the hit count rise and the reviews stay static. There are a lot of good stories out there. Maybe some aren't perfect, but there are things to be appreciated about almost all of them. And any small thing you like about a story, let the author know, it will mean a great deal to him or her.

**And if you have "Move Along" by the All-American Rejects press play now.

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How did he find me here? Hasn't he made today horrible enough?

_Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking _

_When you fall everyone sins _

They had started playing "Move Along" as I started to try and escape in the crowded club. I used to like this song but now it gets to be associated with having to run from Logan.

_Another day and you've had your fill of sinking _

_With the life held in your _

_Hands are shaking cold _

_These hands are meant to hold _

First, I hit him and yelled at him that he can't kiss me and the idiot kisses me again! And right in front of Ms. Burtonni. Then he was staring at me during lunch like a stalker and didn't stop until Zoey pulled him away. And why is he going off alone with Zoey all of a sudden? Is he doing this to her too?

_Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong _

_Move along, move along like I know you do _

_And even when your hope is gone _

_Move along, move along just to make it through _

_Move along _

_Move along _

And I thought he was with Zoey, but then out of no where he grabs me and pulls me into the men's room. I don't even want to think of what happened in there…just he has to stop.

_So a day when you've lost yourself completely _

_Could be a night when your life ends _

I snuck up to the balcony. Hopefully he won't come looking for me up here. Technically I can't be up here. Depending on what band is playing the club is open to minors, but the balcony never is since the bar is up here.

_Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving _

_All the pain held in your _

_Hands are shaking cold _

_Your hands are mine to hold _

If he finds me I may just have to hit him or kick him or something because he can't kiss me, not again, never again.

_Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong _

_Move along, move along like I know you do _

_And even when your hope is gone _

_Move along, move along just to make it through _

_Move along _

_(Go on, go on, go on, go on) _

Crap. How did he get up here too?

_When everything is wrong we move along _

_(Go on, go on, go on, go on) _

I pushed my way through the hoards of people to the balcony exit on the other side of the room. Once I got down stairs I started heading towards the back of the room.

_When everything is wrong, we move along _

_Along, along, along _

People stop singing along and MOVE! I need to get away. I need to get away.

_When all you got to keep is strong _

_Move along, move along like I know you do _

_And even when your hope is gone _

_Move along, move along just to make it through_

And right as the song was getting louder again he came out of no where and kissed me. It was like that scene in that movie _A Lot Like Love_, the part where they're at that New Year's party and Ashton Kutcher comes up from no where and kisses Amanda Peet. The difference is that Amanda Peet's character wanted to be kissed and… I can't…he shouldn't be kissing me.

Worse than that, I shouldn't be kissing him back, not again, not ever, but I am. I'm kissing him back again. And I should be stopping it, but absolutely nothing is registering in my head. I know this song, I know right now it is at its loudest, but I hear nothing, nothing but the rapid beat of my heart. And maybe it's not just my heart because he molded me so close to him I can feel his too and it's just as fast. And with every beat of our hearts there is this pulse of pure pleasure that radiates through me further and further until my entire body is coursing with ecstasy.

So, my mind just isn't working and I gave in. His tongue quickly begged for entrance and I gave in. He held me tighter as his tongue expertly caressed my own. The crowds of people moving around us threatened to push us apart despite his tight grip, so I held on too. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, made out with him back. And I really needed that extra support of hanging on because my legs were barely holding me up.

He pulled away and said huskily, "Goodnight Dana." And he let go, he looked thoroughly kissed, and he turned around and left. Or I thought he left. Everything started to get loud again, but then he was back and quiet returned as kissed me quickly. And he pulled away again and said, "Okay, goodnight for real this time. Sweet dreams Dana." He was wearing_ that_ smile again as he walked away.

And everything really did get loud again.

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret (dirty little secret) _

_Don't tell anyone _

_Or you'll be just another regret (just another regret) _

_Hope that you can keep it _

_My dirty little secret _

_Who has to know? _

Oh how appropriate.

I remained frozen in the spot he left me for the rest of "Dirty Little Secret", which was actually probably only a minute. I guess that means that we were…it lasted a little while. What if there were other songs in between "Move Along" and "Dirty Little Secret"?

I just…I didn't notice and…how long were we…? I can't even…this can't be happening.

Reality was crashing back into me like a tidal wave, inescapable and sure to leave a path of destruction.

I ran out of the club and miraculously I immediately found a cab to take me back to campus.

There's no denying it anymore. Logan kisses me and I kiss him back and I like it. Kissing him is…and I'm a horrible person. Sam is wonderful and I love him and now that he's not around I'm kissing someone else. Well, technically I'm only kissing back, I've never initiated anything and I'm never going to.

Part of me has always been attracted to Logan, so kissing him is…pleasurable, but it can't continue. The only reason it's continued so far is because he's taken me by surprise and…I miss Sam. I'm used to having him around to kiss when I want to kiss someone and to just be with. So, when Logan kisses me that lonely part that yearns for something physical kisses him back. And it's normal, it's perfectly normal to have those kind of physical desires. But just because the desire is normal, it doesn't make this any less wrong. That's what this is, it's wrong. And because it's wrong it can't happen again, it can't.

Tomorrow morning this ends. I'm just going to have to talk to Logan and tell him that this isn't going to continue. I don't really know why he's doing this anyway. Well, I was (and I still think it's the most believable reason) thinking that he kisses me because he wants someone to kiss and I'm just convenient. But then that sonnet earlier…he was just messing with me. Either that or he paid someone to write it for him and he didn't know any of the meaning. I know Logan doesn't do well in that class and that sonnet…Mr. Jensen thought it was good work, so Logan couldn't have written it. He just…he didn't know what he was telling me when he told me it was about me. It couldn't have been about me. Or maybe it was, but that was when he thought that the poem was just about attraction, because before the class dissected it that's what I thought too. And since he obviously had someone else write it for him that has to be what he was thinking too.

I can't keep thinking about this, it just makes me feel so much guiltier. But I should feel guilty because I'm a horrible person. I am, I'm a horrible person. I have kissed and made out with someone other than the guy I'm in love with. I'm completely horrible, completely.

It's just… I….it's ripping my heart out to keep thinking about it. Thinking about everything I…I'm on the constant verge of tears, but it's like I can't actually cry because I'm so freaked out and everything just keeps moving. I keep moving, I'm all jittery with guilt. And I have this throbbing headache and this constant feeling that I'm gonna throw up at any second. And that sick feeling just isn't leaving my stomach and it's in my throat too and my head, my head, the throbbing feels like someone's been beating me on my entire skull and brain and everything for hours. I just….I have to stop thinking about it.

There's really nothing in my room to distract me. I went over to 101, which was empty since Nicole had a date and I had left Zoey at the concert, and turned on the TV hoping it would tune out the growing guilt.

Of course the universe is far too cruel to let me forget about my greatest mistakes.

Zoey came in with Chase in tow and I was just who she was looking to find.

"Why were you kissing Logan?" Oh holy crap!

"What? What are you talking about?" I wasn't going to admit to it _that _easy.

"Oh, don't deny it. I saw you," Damn it, "You told me you weren't feeling well and told me to stay and have fun and then I saw you. You didn't leave because you were sick, you just went off to kiss Logan. Logan!" And she said Logan as if the thought of kissing him is disgusting. If only she knew how far from the truth that is.

Since I'm caught I guess I have someone to talk to about this. Maybe confession will bring comfort, "Yes!" I shouted, "Okay, I was kissing Logan. Well, actually I was just kissing him back. He keeps kissing me and…" I don't know what to say. "It's a reflex," it has to be, just a hormone induced reflex.

Zoey seemed worried and concerned. She sat down on the couch beside me. Chase was still standing awkwardly by the door. Zoey's next question was the billion dollar one, "Why does he kiss you?" I shrugged. What am I supposed to say because I'm convenient? And that has to be it that has to be the only explanation. Maybe Zoey could come up with some other reason, but I don't… that has to be it; I'm convenient. "Why do you kiss him back?"

Why is it so hard for everyone to understand that, "It's a reflex."

"What?" Am I not speaking English?

I restated, "It's a reflex."

"No it isn't," what?

"Yes it is," I insisted.

"No it isn't," she insisted.

"Yes it is," yes it is.

"No it isn't," What are we two?

"Yes it is!" I yelled now. How could ever tell me that it isn't? She's not me.

"No Dana, if you don't want to kiss someone you don't whether or not they're kissing you," that's what she thinks, but it's not true. It's not.

"Yes you do! Someone kisses you, you kiss them back," I set her straight.

"No you don't," she said stubbornly, but she could tell she didn't change my mind. She sighed and was silent for a second and then looked around and noticed Chase, "Chase kiss Dana." What!

"What!" Chase exclaimed reading my thoughts.

Zoey explained, "We need to show her it's not a reflex. So, kiss her."

"No offense," he said looking at me, "but no," he concluded to Zoey.

"Yeah, I'm going with no too," seriously I'm not kissing Chase. I have Sam and I don't need to add to the list of reasons to feel guilty.

"Then kiss me," Oh. My. God! I can't believe Zoey said that!

"What?" saying Chase is shocked is an understatement. He looks like his heart just stopped and it should have. The girl he's in love with just told him to kiss her.

"Fine, I'll just kiss you," Zoey said as she was crossing the room to him and continued to explain, "then Dana will see that you don't kiss someone back just because they're kissing you, you have to want to."

Chase put his hand out to stop her from getting any closer, "Zoey don't," he plead warningly avoiding her eyes by staring at the ground.

"What? Why?" Zoey asked completely oblivious and trying to get him to look at her.

Chase looked like he was having an internal battle, but he looked back up at her and said, "Because…it won't show Dana what you want."

This look of comprehension crossed Zoey's face and then both excitement and fear.

Wow. Well, this is incredibly awkward and I really shouldn't be intruding on whatever's going happen. And I really don't want to continue the conversation we were having. And I don't want my third wheel presence to be the reason this is stopped from finally coming out. I slipped out the door unnoticed.

I returned to my room, to the darkness, to the guilt, to the shame. Zoey and Chase were a nice distraction for a minute, but now it's all back.

And maybe Zoey and Ms. Burtonni and that annoying voice in my head have all been right. It's not a reflex. I don't kiss Logan back because it's a reflex, part of me wants to. But it's just that stupid part, that needy hormonal part, the part of me that really misses the physical part of mine and Sam's relationship, the part of the relationship that can't be fulfilled when he's across the country. That's it, it's just…physical want.

Zoey rushed into my room startling me. She's alone and she doesn't look very happy.

She's pacing, "D-Did you know…did you know that Chase…he loves me?"

"Yeah," I said cautiously.

"No" she said shaking her head, "Not in the friend way, but as in HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME!"

I have never seen her this freaked out, but I said honestly, "Yeah, I knew."

Her eyes seem to be permanently wide. She pleads to me, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't for me to tell Zoey," and it wasn't, this was Chase's secret.

She sat down on the empty bed that was once Lola's. She looks hopeless and confused.

"What happened when I left?" I asked hoping that talking about it might make her feel better.

She was staring at the floor as if it had the answers as she told, "He said that I couldn't kiss him because it wouldn't show you what I wanted to show you. And I knew he was saying that he was saying that if I kissed him, he would want to kiss me back, but he wasn't really saying it and I asked him 'What?'. Then he came right out and said that if I kissed him he would kiss be back, because he would want to kiss me back. And I had to ask why. And he said because he's always wanted to kiss the girl he's in love with. And I just stood there…and he just…left. I didn't know what to do. I mean Chase loves me? Why does he love me? How could he be in love with me?"

"He always has been," she might as well know now.

"I always thought he was my best friend," she said with so much hurt in her voice.

I moved and sat next to her on the other bed and tried to comfort her as she started to cry, "He has always been your best friend, that's why he hasn't told you, he didn't want to ruin that." She just continued to cry. I can't believe this is happening. He told her. He told her! And she's crying?

I can't believe I'm going to ask this, but it's all I can think of to explain her reaction, "You're not in love with him?"

"I don't know," she said looking at me, her eyes showing that she was truly confused. "I know that sounds lame, but I…I've just never thought about it."

"I guess you have a lot to think about now," and hopefully she'll forget she saw me with Logan.

"Yeah," she said nodding as she wiped away some final tears. Since she was done crying I got up and put the tissue box back in its usual spot. She stayed on the bed and asked, "Can I just stay here tonight? I just don't want to go back in there right now."

"Yeah sure," I wouldn't refuse her, especially after a night like tonight.

The bed always has my extra set of sheets on it for whoever wants to crash there. We both laid down and tried to sleep.

After about ten minutes she asked, "So why do you kiss him back?"

Of course she couldn't just forget about it. But I decided I might as well tell her the truth, I kind of owe her. Talking to her about her problems took my mind off of my own and she deserves the same release. So, it's my turn to talk, "Part of me wants to. Sam's so far away and I haven't seen him in like four months and it's just…it's nice to be kissed. And I feel horrible about it, but it's stopping tomorrow. I don't' know why Logan's been kissing me, but it's stopping tomorrow."

"And you really have no idea why he's kissing you?"

I let it all spill out. My life is just such a mess, I can't contain myself, "I just have to be convenient right? I mean he's kissing me because when he wants someone to kiss I'm just there. But then that sonnet…he didn't really write it right? He couldn't have. He's never done well in that class why would he start doing good now?"

"Wait," Zoey said interrupting me, "Logan wrote that sonnet and he wrote it about you?"

"Yeah," I said cringing. I should have kept my mouth shut because I know what she's thinking.

"Wow," was all she said. Okay, that's not what I expected. But since she wasn't saying anything I certainly wasn't. I don't want to have this conversation anymore, I just want out.

The silence only lasted a couple of minutes before Zoey said, "Dana?" to make sure I was still awake.

"Yeah," I responded. I considered not responding and pretending to be asleep, but on the chance that she could see that my eyes were open, I decided to respond.

"What was it like the first time Sam told you he loves you?"

The first time…hmm….um…well…I can't remember. I don't remember the first time he told me he loves me. I guess we just tell each other so often the first time must have just blurred into them. Somehow I don't think that's what I should say now though. So instead I just said, "It was great, perfect, because I love him too."

She was quiet again. Twenty minutes later I heard her breathing change, she was asleep.

And an hour later I still wasn't asleep. My head was far from quiet.

That nagging voice kept saying things like, "The poem was about you," "It's not just physical," and "You should be able to remember when he first said 'I love you.'"

But the poem wasn't really about me, not in its true meaning. And it is just physical because I love Sam. And he says "I love you" all the time. The important thing is that he still says it now; it doesn't matter when he started.

An hour later and I was still mentally arguing with the voice in my head. I know that makes me sound insane and maybe I am, it'd be a nice excuse for everything.

Since I couldn't sleep I quietly got up and went to the roof in need of some fresh air. The roof of our building is kind of crappy so no one's ever up here. Though the other reason it's empty could be that it's two thirty in the morning.

I had only been up there a couple of minutes when a voice said, "So, no sweet dreams?"

Logan. What is he doing here? Actually, I don't care why he's here. It's good that he's here. I can tell him now that this thing is over and then maybe I'll finally be able to put my mind at rest.

I turned around to face him and to find that he was about only a foot away.

As I was about to tell him that he needs to stop he cut me off and said, "You're beautiful."

"What?" he can't seriously think that. I took off my make-up before I went to bed and all this heat has had me sweating for hours and my hair must be a mess because I've been tossing and turning in bed for the last two or so hours and…he just can't seriously think that.

He looked in my eyes as he closed the distance between us in one motion. His eyes on mine froze me and made me let him get closer and made me let him wrap his arms around my waist. He said again still keeping the eye contact, "You're beautiful."

Oh…I shouldn't be completely melting at that, but I am. It's just that I can tell when he's lying, like I could the other day with him getting up early to run, and I can tell now he's not lying. He thinks I'm beautiful. He really thinks I'm beautiful, just me, without any effort.

He leaned in and I closed my eyes. I knew that I shouldn't have, but…I'll just tell him it's over later. But he didn't kiss me like I expected, he just rested his forehead on mine and held me for a little while. Then he sighed, kissed my forehead and said, "Should try and get some sleep. I'll see you at breakfast." And he disappeared as quickly as he appeared.

I returned to my room, to bed, knowing that I was going to let him kiss me again. I was going to let him kiss me, but I wasn't going to kiss him, I wasn't going to be the one to initiate it so…nothings changed. It's just physical.

I got maybe two hours of restless sleep.

I nervously went to breakfast with Zoey and Nicole. He said he'd see me there and I kept wondering; would he try something in front of everyone?

We got our food, sat down at our usual table and were quickly joined by Michael, Chase and Logan. Our table is round. So, Zoey sat to my right, in between me and Nicole. Michael was next to Nicole, with Chase on his other side so that Chase and Zoey were separated, but that didn't make it any more comfortable. And that left Logan sitting next to me on my left, in between me and Chase. The table was silent with awkward tension while everyone tried to ignore that something had happened.

Suddenly I felt a hand in mine. Under the table Logan had taken my left hand in his right and intertwined our fingers. He's left handed so to everyone else it went unnoticed. He's holding my hand.

This isn't the first time we've held hands. Sophomore year I went to the gym to shoot some hoops, practice a little more, and he was there by himself. He was just sitting on the bleachers and he looked upset. I asked him what was going on and he said that his mom just called to tell him that his grandpa died. When he was little his parents were always working and instead of having a nanny he had his grandpa. They had been really close, but then his parents sent him to PCA and he didn't see him as much. And instead of being with him in the summers he started going to basketball camp or spending all his time with girls and friends and not his grandpa. He felt really guilty because he convinced himself that his grandpa thought he was a horrible neglectful grandson. I assured him that that wasn't true. The fact that he has a full life was not something that his grandpa would ever hold against him. But, to this day Logan doesn't like to be reminded of him. It was the saddest I had ever seen him. Of course Logan didn't want anyone knowing anything, he didn't want anyone's pity or sympathy. But I knew and I knew he shouldn't go to the funeral alone. He shouldn't have to go through it alone and he would need a friend. So, his parents got him out of school and I ditched to go with him. I sat next to him through the funeral and I held his hand. I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to show him that…I was there, so I held his hand, as support, as reassurance, as comfort. And he didn't let go. He just looked up at me and managed a small smile and looked away again.

I realized some things as he was secretly holding my hand. First, kissing him is this immensely shameful pleasure, this physical thing, but he isn't kissing me. He's holding my hand and that's not a hormonal induced thing, that's a real thing. He's holding my hand and that means the sonnet might have been real, it might be more than an attraction for him. Then the second thing I realized is I'm half way through my breakfast and I haven't let go of his hand. But it can't mean the same thing for me as it does for him, because I have Sam and I love Sam. This just has to be physical and it has to be over. But, I can't really cause a scene in front of our friends, so I'll just let go when breakfast is over.

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**A/N:** Will she end it? If she does, how will Logan take it? And remember in my stories **everything is important**. Logan's grandpa, a seemingly unimportant detail when first mentioned, just turned out to be very important, and it's not the only thing that will have a come back. But, I have mid-terms so the next chapter will be a little while.

**Make my weekend great and please review!** Then if you're looking for some other good stories check my favorites on my profile, which I just realized I haven't updated in a while. So some stuff that comes to mind that I've enjoyed that isn't on there yet: _Minor Incidents_ by LadyKatyUltimateFan, and _Beach Party _and _If You Can't Take the Heat_ by lilyflowr33. So, go read and enjoy and review. Piece


	9. Her Worth

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long, but I'm extremely busy. Thank you to all my reviewers! You guys are fantastic.** But, still, only 11 of people reading are reviewing. **Please read and review.**

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She didn't let go! She didn't let go! She didn't let go! I held her hand and she let me! I'm feeling pretty invincible as I walk to my first class of the day, at least I was until I saw Ms. Burtonni.

She's standing outside her office, glaring at me, tapping her foot, and she has her arms folded across her chest. Uh oh.

I tried to approach casually, "Hey Ms. B."

She looked like she was fighting the urge to say something and she simply pointed at her office as if she was ordering me to go in. This is just looking worse and worse.

I sat down, she sat down and said obviously trying to keep calm, "Mr. Reese tell me what's been going on with you and Dana since we spoke yesterday." How did I get back to "Mr. Reese"?

I tried to ignore her sudden cold demeanor and told her everything that I had done concerning Dana in the last twenty four hours. When I was telling her what happened in the bathroom she looked pretty surprised and she kind of blushed a little. I may have gone into too much detail on that one. Then I told her about how the entire meaning of the poem was revealed thanks to Mr. Jensen and his questions and she looked slightly alarmed. And then she seemed kind of unreadable when I was telling her about the concert. But her feelings got very clear again when I told her about the roof and that annoyed foot tapping of hers returned. As I was moving on to tell her about breakfast I could tell it wasn't going to go well.

Just about the second that I stopped talking she said very agitatedly, "Have you looked at Dana today?"

Has she not been listening? "Yeah, of course."

Still obviously trying to restrain herself, "And how did she look?"

"Gorgeous as always," I replied honestly.

Apparently that was the wrong response, for she finally lost control, "Gorgeous? Sure, for someone that's COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT! Five times in a period of twenty four hours and then something extra and massive that was out of your control. ARE YOU TRYING TO LOSE HER? Because I promise you, you continue on this unrestrained path and you will push her away."

Okay, I'm not listening to this anymore because she's completely wrong, "I have been restraining myself! I told you I didn't kiss her on the roof last night or…"

"That wasn't your mistake Logan," she cut me off, "your mistake was going up there in the first place. Just because you were on your roof, which by the way is against the rules and you need to stop, and you saw her on her roof didn't mean that you needed to go over there. It was the middle of the night, why did you think she was up there? Maybe to think because you had been messing with her head the entire day? Which I admit is unavoidable because of this entire situation, but we've discussed this, you can't push her too far too fast."

"I know, I know, I know, but it's just really hard," Yeah, okay, so I noticed. I noticed that Dana has been slightly paler than normal and she's seemed distant and she's been doing that nervous bottom lip chewing thing almost constantly so that lips are always deliciously red…but yeah she's a little…freaked out. But she still lets me kiss her and touch her and…just…be with her and…it's hard not to kiss her and touch her and be with her when I want to, because finally I can.

Ms. Burtonni seemed to have softened at my last statement, but I know she's just trying to help, "I know it is Logan, but if you really love her and you really want to be with her, you'll back off for a while."

I know I should, but like I said, it's really hard. But I really love her and I really want to be with her so, I'm going to have to try harder and back off for a while. And that was exactly what I told Ms. Burtonni, I told her I am going to cool it for a while. But what is a while?

So, not as much Dana today; I should have known today would be a bad day, it is a Wednesday.

I don't have my first five classes of the day with her, and if I just make sure I don't see her in between those classes, can I see her at lunch? But would she expect me to do something at lunch? Because really laying off for a while would be me not doing stuff for the next few times she expects stuff. Honestly if I did something every time I could, I would be stealing kisses in between classes. So, since I won't be doing that, can I do something at lunch?

To do something at lunch or not to do something at lunch was the mental debate I had through five classes. That's five hours of the same mental argument playing itself out in my head; I'm kind of exhausted. And I'm have absolutely no idea what was going on in any of those classes. That's probably not good for my GPA or my chances of getting into any college.

Anyway, it's finally lunch now and I'm going to do something…maybe. It's just that…I…I love her more every minute I spend with her. If that's even possible, I do, I love her more every minute I spend with her. And that's the reason I decided I have to see her at lunch. Maybe I'm being selfish or stupid because I should give her more of a break, but I just want to be around her. I need to be around her. I need to love her more.

Unfortunately as I was heading to our usual table, Zoey once again had other plans.

"Nope," she said taking me pretty roughly by the arm and dragging me away from the cafeteria all together, "we have to talk." She lead me all the way to her room and locked the door. This is really out of character for her. Honestly, I'm a little scared.

She sat down on the couch, so I sat down on the couch. I hope she doesn't have a knife behind that throw pillow. Seriously, this is really weird behavior for her and the tension in the air, it seems like something bad is coming.

"You know how I'm the safe ride driver?" I nodded. Yeah, how predictable of Zoey to be the one to start a safe ride program at our school. I mean, her starting that whole thing was a memorable little episode, but definitely not surprising. She seemed hesitant, but continued, "Cathy Peters talks a lot when she's…completely wasted."

She said Cathy Peters? Oh no. Oh no. You know the Chatty Cathy doll? They named it after Cathy Peters when she's sober and I did something really stupid with her. Sophomore year when Dana celebrated her three month anniversary with Sam, I was once again trying to be interested in other girls. So, I went out with the hot, but extremely talkative Cathy Peters. I could not get the girl to shut up for five seconds; it was annoying the hell out of me. So I kissed her and she seemed to really like it, she was all over me. The horrible thing is, for a long time now, whenever I kiss any girl I think of Dana. And things progressed with Cathy, but in my mind she wasn't Cathy, she was Dana. Then in a moment of pure stupidity I said her name, "Dana." Of course Cathy noticed and yelled and…I had to stop her from telling everyone, because she knew who I was talking about. I don't even know of another Dana at this school, so Dana was going to find out I think of her. I couldn't have that. I paid her a thousand dollars (the girl drove a hard bargain and I was desperate) to keep her chatty trap shut. Sober Cathy might have been able to keep to our agreement, but Drunk Cathy? I'm terrified. I barely managed to choke out, "What did she say?"

Zoey's expression is completely unreadable, "She complained about how you were a horrible date. You never talked and then you said another girls name when things were getting serious. You said, 'Dana.'" Please say Dana doesn't know. Please say Dana doesn't know. Please. To my surprise, Zoey continued, "You've been kissing her lately."

Wow. Okay…um… "So….um, why are…what are you getting at?"

She smiled slightly, "You told her the poem that one we went over in class was yours and it was about her."

"Yeah," I confirmed still not getting what she was saying. I'm forcing one of her best friends into cheating on her boyfriend, I would expect her to hate me. Or at the very least, I would think she would ask me why.

She's still has that small smile, "Cathy told me that almost two years ago. I can't believe I never noticed. I mean, all the signs since then and I just wrote them off. You're in love with Dana."

"Yes," I confirmed her again. She already knew and I don't really have it in me to deny it anymore.

She started nodding her head a little and that small smile got a bit bigger. She simply said, "Okay."

Really? "Okay?" I questioned.

"Yeah," she said still smiling.

I'm not getting this. How is it okay? Why is she okay with this? So I asked, "Why?"

"Because…" she began and seemed to think for a minute before switching to, "Do you remember the first time you heard Dana tell Sam she loves him?"

I could never forget, "It was the end of lunch, May 21st of sophomore year. It was a Wednesday. He was leaving to get to a class and he gave her a peck on the cheek and said 'I love you' and she said 'I love you too' as he was walking away smiling at her. It was so casual, obviously not the first time, and I knew by the way they said it, it wouldn't be the last time I heard them say it." And as I finished my little reflective rant I still didn't see where exactly she was going with this.

"That's what I thought," she said cryptically. Seriously I still don't get it.

"What? What are you thinking?"

"You love her," she says again, but hadn't we already established that? "You really love her."

"And?" I asked interrupting her from repeating any more.

"And I think you should keep kissing her," wow, I didn't expect that.

"Really? Because I was thinking of backing off for a little bit. She's seemed freaked out," I told her to get her opinion.

"Yeah, you're right, cool it a little," she said thoughtfully but added, "but don't give up."

"I'm not going to," I told her as something occurred to me, "Hey, but you knowing about me and…everything, it wasn't why things were all weird at breakfast, right? Because I was thinking that had to do with you and Chase since he asked us to help separate him from you, he wouldn't tell us why though." Normally, I wouldn't get involved in their business, but with the whole rumor thing I kind of already am involved and she did just make me feel a lot better so I should try and do the same for her.

"Actually I could kind of blame that on you," What? What did I do? "I saw you and Dana kissing at the concert last night and when I talked to her about it I was trying to convincer her that you don't kiss someone on reflex you have to want to. Talking to her wasn't working, so I tried to have Chase, who I ran into and couldn't resist telling, kiss her. He wouldn't and she wouldn't, so I told him to kiss me…"

"No way! So I guess you wanted the rumors to be true because you like Matthews," I interrupted.

"I don't know," she said gravely and continued with the story, "Then he said I couldn't kiss him because he would want to kiss me back because he's always wanted to kiss the girl he's in love with…"

"He told you!" I interrupted again, "And like that! After all these years, if he ever told you, I thought he would at least get it right."

"Why was that the wrong way to tell me?" she asked curiously.

Do none of them get this stuff, "Because of the way everything has turned out. I mean obviously it wasn't good or we wouldn't have eaten breakfast in silence. Before he told you he should have set it up so that when he said 'I love you' you would be able to say 'I love you too', because you are a perfectionist and you want that perfect moment. Anything else would completely freak you out. He told you before he showed you whether or not you love him too. So that leaves you freaked out because of the sudden lack of perfection and completely confused. And that leaves him sulking. I can't believe he was stupid enough to tell you like that."

"That made sense," she said sounding surprised. Why is everybody surprised when ever I say something smart? "So, since you seem to be so smart, do I love Chase?"

"As a friend of course and I think before he told you, you were on your way to realizing that you like him as more than a friend. There's a big difference between like and love, and a big difference between loving and being in love with someone. Chase is in love with you. You love him, you like him, but I don't know if you're in love with him. You don't even know if you are so I really have no idea," I said honestly.

"That's what I thought," she said glumly. We sat in silence for a little bit, but then she asked, "Why did you suddenly decide to go after Dana? She is still with Sam."

Should I mention Sam? I know I can trust her, but I don't even consider him a factor anymore. He's more of an obstacle since technically she's with him, but it's just technical. I'm almost one hundred percent sure she doesn't love him. I don't think telling Zoey about Sam is the part she wants to hear right now. So, I told her the rest of the reason, "I realized that I would rather try and be with her and see if she wants to be with me too than spend the rest of my life wondering…what if?" Zoey didn't say anything so I tried to help her find some clarity and asked, "I guess for your situation, since your friendship with Chase isn't going to be the same anymore, you have to decide whether or not you'll regret it if you don't try to see how you really feel about Chase, because I don't think you're going to figure it out just by sitting around and thinking about it."

Zoey didn't say anything for exactly five minutes and thirty four seconds (I didn't know what to do so I was watching the clock). When she finally spoke she said, "Thanks Logan. I'm pretty sure I know what I would regret. So, I know what I want to do, but I think I'll need your help."

We only had ten minutes of lunch left, but Zoey has always been good with plans. She's even going to kind of help me, but only if she thinks Dana is up for it. I thought anyone finding out would be horrible, but I'm really glad Zoey knows. Most of the time I'm only guessing about how Dana feels and Ms. Burtonni has been great, but Zoey knows Dana, they're really close friends, she can probably read her better than me.

Zoey thought that it might put Dana off of her a bit if she came in with me, so just in case we went to our class separately.

I arrived in class three minutes until the final bell rang. Dana got there a minute before the bell rang. It was the first time I had seen her since breakfast. She walked in and didn't look anywhere near my direction as she sat down. Zoey turned around in her seat and said something to her.

Mr. Jensen began talking. She crossed her legs, right over left, and began sliding her black flip flop on and off of her right foot, like she was in a comfortable, relaxed setting. Yet, she started lightly biting her bottom lip. I can barely see it, but she's defiantly doing it; nervously chewing her bottom lip. She's not listening to whatever Mr. Jensen is saying; her pen is just hanging absently in her hand. Her pen slid further back in between her fingers as she tucked her tucked her hair under her ear. And I've been watching her this attentively for the last fifteen minutes; I have to look away before everyone in this room really thinks I'm stalking her, or that I'm obsessed. Although, I think I am obsessed and somehow I'm okay with that.

As I'm determinedly staring at Mr. Jensen to at least appear to be paying attention I noticed her through the corner of my eye. She glanced at me. And then she did it again. On the chance that she would do it one more time I looked to her. Her eyes met mine ever so briefly for she quickly glanced back away. And thanks to that brief second my palms are immensely sweaty and my heart racing. The things this girl can do to me without the slightest effort on her part, but she's worth it. She's worth anything.

Class ended. I went to my next class. My palms are still sweaty. I'm really nervous because I have to sit next to her throughout the next class and…I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen.

I got to our chemistry class first, but as Dana was coming in Mrs. Kong told her she had a pass and Dana left. Our passes are color coded; yellow to see the dean, white to see the nurse, pink to see any teacher, and blue to see the guidance counselor. Dana's pass was blue.

I'm really concerned about this. I have not discussed this with Ms. Burtonni. I have no idea why she's talking to Dana. I just hope she's still trying to help me.

After class I had a meeting with Coach Hull about our games and practices, just shop talk for basketball. And then I headed over to the girls lounge as part of Zoey's plan. If she thinks Dana won't handle it well yet she's supposed to motion me away. Although if I leave her plan with Matthews gets messed up and that sucks, but Zoey's a good friend and she's willing to give up her plan for me and for Dana.

When I got to the girls lounge I saw Dana, Zoey, Nicole, Michael, and Quinn all sitting playing would you rather just like we planned. Unlike we planned Chase wasn't there. It turned out though Michael tried to convince him to come and act like nothing happened, just hang out, he refused.

I looked to Zoey and she mouthed, "Sit," to me. So, I sat down in a chair that faced the chair that Dana was sitting in. A table separated us. I greeted everyone. They continued the game they were in the middle of.

After a few minutes Zoey asked me the planned question. "Okay Logan," she began as I discretely took a deep breath, "Would you rather give up all of your money and all of your stuff and get to spend the rest of your life with a girl you're in love with or keep everything you have now and lose her?"

I really hope Zoey is sure that Dana can handle this. I quickly responded looking at Dana, "I'd rather have her."

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**A/N:** How will Dana react? That is in the next chapter which is defiantly a can't miss chapter. I'm extremely excited about it. I should have it up within the next week, but I'm seriously slammed with work so I can't make any promises.

**Other business:** I changed the summary for this story, but I think it might not be entirely true, it's too confident. So, I'd really like to know what you think of it. Or I was thinking of making the summary a line from the story, one that you think is really good but doesn't give too much away. So let me know on that as well if you have a favorite line.

**THANK YOU FOR READING AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! **(seriously school, work, and apartment hunting are killing me right now and reviews always make me feel better.)

Her Worth


	10. KISS ME!

**A/N:** Those of you who are actually reading this note are privy to some fun stuff. First, I made Sam's last name Lugner because it means liar in German. Just thought that'd be a nice touch. Oh, and if you were watching this play out on TV or in a movie and I was the director, during the locker room scene I would have Dido's "Who Makes You Feel" playing in the background. So, if you happen to have it I highly suggest listening to it. It makes it so much better.

**IMPORTANT NOTICE AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER. **

**Enjoy!**

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What the hell is going on with Logan? He's been pulling this kissing crap and other stuff and messing with my head and today I haven't seen him since breakfast. Well, I haven't seen him until now. He just sits down with everyone while we're playing a game like it's no big deal and like he hasn't been screwing with me. Well, I don't know what he's up to, but I'm just not going to pay any attention to him.

"Okay Logan," Zoey began, "Would you rather give up all of your money and all of your stuff and get to spend the rest of your life with a girl you're in love with or keep everything you have now and lose her?" I looked at him…it was a reflex…and everyone else was.

He quickly responded locking eyes with me, "I'd rather have her."

He's looking at me. He can't be implying…oh God…I can't breath. He can't. He can't. Oh God. Logan you idiot! You don't know what you're doing. He can't know what he's doing. He just can't do this. I can't do this. I can't…

They continued with the game and I looked away and got out my phone. He looked away too. I sent him a text telling him to meet me in the janitor's closet on the second floor in ten minutes. I got up and told everyone I had stuff to do and I left. He gave me as small nod; he's going to be there.

I headed up to the closet. I need to talk to him. I need to take Ms. Burtonni's advice.

I know after our last meeting who would have ever thought I would even talk to her again, but she surprised me with a meeting today and she made a lot of sense.

**Flashback**

"Dana I want to apologize for the direction I let our last meeting take. I didn't mean for anything to come out the way it did," Ms. Burtonni immediately began.

So I sat down. It's not like I really had a choice, I had to be there.

She continued, "I'm worried about you. You look very stressed." Well wouldn't you be? I've cheated on my boyfriend. I'm a horrible person. She continued, "I'd really like to help and I swear I am not on Logan's side. You're right he shouldn't kiss you when you have a boyfriend."

You know what, today has been a weird day and I'm here so, "No, he shouldn't be kissing me or any of the other stuff. And I shouldn't be kissing him back. But, I don't know…I'm attracted to Logan, I kind of always have been. But I'm in love with Sam and I feel horrible for kissing Logan back every time, but I can't seem to stop my self from doing it."

"Maybe you kiss him back for a reason other than attraction," what is she trying to suggest? She continued, "Maybe your boyfriend isn't being attentive enough now that he's gone so when Logan gives you the attention of kissing you, it fulfills that craving."

I wish but, "Sam calls at least once every day and not just to talk about the weather, but to ask me how my life is going, how my friends are, how classes are. And then other times he calls because he says he just wanted to hear my voice and tell me he loves me. So, he's still really attentive."

"Maybe you're getting revenge on Sam by kissing Logan back. Is there something Sam's done to upset you?"

Again, I wish but, "I don't think Sam's ever really upset me. He was supposed to come visit last weekend, but he had this massive paper and I understand. It wasn't like it was something he could control."

She was silent for a minute before she concluded, "Well, I can't come up with anything else. I don't know how to help you, but I want to help you." She paused and continued, "You said you don't want Logan to keep kissing you right?" I nodded. Logan can't keep kissing me. "Then the only thing I can think of to help you is you're going to have to talk to him. You're going to have to make it very clear that you don't want him. Logan seems pretty stubborn so you'll have to be very firm about it and it would probably help drive the message home if you don't kiss him ever again."

**End of Flashback**

And that's why I'm here in the janitor's closet waiting for him. I have to make him stop.

Although he kind of already did stop; he hasn't tried anything since he held my hand at breakfast. It's like he has mood swings. Yesterday it was like I couldn't escape him and today he was no where for most of the day.

Sometimes he gets a little weird on Wednesdays though. His grandpa died on a Wednesday. He wasn't really himself for a while after that. Then a few months later like the end of May of sophomore year he started being not really himself on Wednesdays. That was when we lost our first basketball game. It was just an off season scrimmage game, but it was on a Wednesday towards the middle/end of May and he wasn't himself and he didn't play like himself and we lost. It's rare for us to have a game on a Wednesday but we've lost every Wednesday game since then. I know it's because of his grandpa, well, I'm pretty sure because I can't think of anything else, but I never bring it up to him. He even still snaps at people who call him "Mr. Reese" sometimes. It's just not a good idea to remind him of his grandpa.

If this hasn't all been a joke though, I guess I'm about to do something else that's…no, he just can't be serious about any of this.

I didn't notice how dark it was in here until he came in and the light from the hallway suddenly disappeared with the shutting door.

Okay this is it. I took a deep breath, "What was that out there?" I impulsively decided to start with the present and work backwards.

"Just being honest," he said taking a step forward. I took a step back.

Damn it Logan. "Why have you been doing this?" I questioned as he stepped forward again and I stepped back. I was in the middle of the tiny room, but I'm nearing the wall now.

"Because I want to," he said taking another step forward and I stepped back to find myself up against the wall.

There's a little shred of light from this tiny window and in our new position I can see his eyes. I can see his eyes now and he's looking directly at me. I met his eyes and said firmly, "I'm with Sam."

He put his hands lightly on my hips and leaned in…Oh God he can't kiss me. He said right near my lips his eyes entranced by them, "Start acting like it."

That bastard! I am not the one who's been…he's not kissing me. He's not kissing me? Okay then I should get away because I'm strong so I can push around him.

He leaned in further. His body pressing against mine, but not crushing me, and his lips not touching mine but there's not much space. I think the only thing that could fit between them is a piece of paper.

Thank God. He can't kiss me again. He can't. I closed my eyes, relieved. We can stay here like this as long as he wants, but he's not kissing me again.

I can here him breath, uneven like I feel myself doing. I can feel his heartbeat, fast like mine.

Okay leave Logan. This has to end.

His lips are so close, so close. And my lips are tingling so bad, so bad.

This has to end. He needs to leave.

And his lips are just there testing me, taunting me, teasing me.

He has to go. He has to go.

Testing, taunting, teasing…and the tingling, the bad bad tingling.

Oh God he has to go. He has to…

Kiss me. Oh God…just…he…kiss me. Just kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss Me! Kiss Me! Just Kiss Me! Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. KISS ME!

God help me I can't take it anymore. I closed the miniscule distance between our lips. He immediately started kissing me back. Kissing me back; kissing me back because I kissed him. I kissed him.

The sweet innocent kiss was quickly ended when the janitor came into his closet and I came back to reality. I shoved Logan off of me and hurriedly left.

I kissed him_. I_ kissed _him_. This was never supposed to happen. And this definitely can't keep happening.

There must be something wrong with me. I must have some hormonal imbalance or chemical imbalance or something because I love Sam and I do not want to cheat on him.

I started walking towards the lake. Hopefully he won't find me out there and I'll be able to think and figure this out.

I sat down on a bench under a tree near the lake's edge and my cell phone rang. If it's Logan I am not answering. But it wasn't Logan it was Sam.

"Hi," I tried to greet warmly and like nothing was wrong.

"Hey beautiful, how was your day?" and he actually sounds interested and so sincere.

"Good," I lied, "had a meeting with the guidance counselor."

"She helping you find a school near me?" he asked hopefully.

That's not exactly what we talk about. We talk about how I'm kissing another guy. I started to stutter, "I…well…"

"Cause you know you have to go somewhere near me. I miss you too much to have you be far away from me ever again," he has to stop with this. I feel so guilty. I should feel so guilty.

"Of course I'll be near you," it's where I belong. It is. What I have with Sam is real and Logan has been…thrilling, but wrong, completely wrong, just physical, and not real.

"You know if you find a school close enough maybe we could live together in a town that's convenient for us both and maybe your name could change to Mrs. Sam Lugner?" he suggested hopefully again. Oh this guilt is really getting to me, I feel like throwing up.

"We'll see," I told him again. I know it's not the answer he wants, but…we'll see.

I think I'm going to be sick. And then I noticed my watch. I have to go. "Um, I have to go. I have to get to practice so I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay. I love you," yeah I'm definitely going to be sick.

"Yeah, love you too," I said hurriedly and hung up. I 'm gonna be sick.

I rushed to the locker room because I felt so sick and I needed to get ready for practice, practice with Logan. I have to practice with Logan. My life sucks.

When I got to the locker room I started getting changed and was almost done when I noticed I didn't get sick like I thought I was going to, I felt fine. Well, I felt fine except for the extreme dread of seeing Logan.

Logan, I kissed Logan. I love Sam. Sam misses me and he wants to marry me. He keeps talking about marriage and the future and spending the rest of his life with me. And what I have with Sam is real and Logan…Logan is just a jack ass who decided to start kissing me when he knows I'm in love with someone else. Logan is the guy who is ruining my life. I was fine, I was happy and he's just ruining everything.

I got out to the court and the entire team was already there, Logan was already there. He saw me and started smiling. The nerve of him! I scowled in response.

The team was broken in to two sides for a practice game. I was on one team; Logan was on the other team.

I wanted to make it very clear to him that I'm not at all happy about what's been going on and as soon as practice is over I'm going to tell him. So all during our practice game I played rough with Logan. Every time I could I discretely hit him or shoved him and one time when the opportunity presented itself I stomped on his foot. Just like old times. And just like old times I hate him again. He's ruining my life.

I glared at him as practice ended and headed back to the girls' locker room. There's only two girls on the team, me and Zoey. I'm the only one in the locker room because Zoey didn't come to practice. I guess she didn't want to be around Chase, but Chase didn't show up either.

Since I was extremely hot because practice is always a work out and we're still going through a horrible heat wave, the first thing I did once I got to the locker room was go to the sinks and wash my face.

The water felt so good, but when I looked up again I saw someone in the mirror that instantly made me feel so bad. Logan. Okay I can do this. It ends now.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded without turning around to face him, just looking at him in the mirror.

"We were interrupted earlier," he said as he came closer.

If he thinks we're going to pick up where we left off he is completely wrong and I need him to know that. I have to end it. I turned around and said, "It's over Logan. All of it, it's over. Just…deal with it."

He's three feet away and thankfully he's not moving any closer. He looked…hurt, but he said, "It's over? I don't think that's what that kiss meant."

Asshole! That really pissed me off. I snapped my voice shuddering with fury, "No Logan that's what every shove, every hit, and me stomping on your foot meant."

He looked away and he looked crushed. What am I doing?

I added, "I love Sam."

He scoffed and looked at me. Then he got this determined look in his eyes and he came toward me quickly. I didn't have time to move, to react, to think. He crashed his lips on mine as he grabbed me roughly, possessively. He was kissing me bruisingly and I didn't care at all because as usual I was kissing him back. Just, once he starts, I can't stop. I can't stop it.

He kissed me passionately as his hands grabbed and roamed. His hands sliding underneath my shirt onto my bare back caused me to gasp slightly in surprise. And my slightly open mouth as a result of the gasp gave him the opportunity to slide his tongue in, which of course he did.

He always tastes…right. Not like he just ate a bunch of breath mints and not like any gum, but like him. Kind of bitter sweet and that's just perfect for him, it's just like him. For the things he does, I can completely hate him but then he can also do things that are so sweet.

He continued to kiss me hungrily, kiss me like…I pulled him closer, my arms tightly wrapping around his neck and my right hand exploring his hair and for all of the product he uses it's surprisingly soft and clean feeling.

I made involuntary moans of pleasure. I found my self smiling and kissing him more, desperately more, when I heard him doing it too.

His hands traveled down and down until they roughly grasped my thighs and lifted me up and perched me on the sink so I was level with him. The cold porcelain sink burned my hot skin like ice. To keep my balance on the sink I had to open my legs and of course he stepped between them. But I still didn't care, I didn't care at all. I didn't care what he did as long as he kept kissing me.

His lips left mine to devour my neck. Every millimeter of skin he touched or kissed felt…ablaze...and awakened.

Did something just hit my head? What…oh that feels good. Don't stop.

We continued to make out gasping, moaning, and caressing until suddenly there was a deafeningly loud siren and water, lots of water. The fire alarm went off quickly followed by the sprinklers.

Being completely soaked and the ear piercing noise brought me back to reality again. This is wrong. I can't be doing this. I shoved Logan off of me and ran away again.

As I got out the door of the gym a hand grabbed me.

"You owe me," Zoey said to my confusion.

"What?" I questioned.

"I just faked a fire to get you away from Logan," What! I'm shocked. She continued, "You said yesterday that you wanted to end things with him and you told me that again after you saw Ms. Burtonni. Then I find you heavily making out with him. I clear my throat you two don't notice. I yelled at you, you don't notice. I threw a pen I found at your heads and it did hit both of you and you two didn't notice. If anyone finds out that I pulled that fire alarm, you so owe me."

She is a great friend. Zoey never breaks rules, but she just did something so not her just to help me. And thank God she came. I don't think…I don't think I would have stopped if she didn't. As horrible as it sounds, I think it's true. I can't stop with him.

I hugged Zoey and thanked her repeatedly and told her I'd do anything she wants me to do as a thank you to her. She didn't even pause to think about what she wanted. She said immediately, "Okay, then you have to tell me honestly what that was like in there because I think that was the hottest thing I've ever seen. It looked like a scene from….oh um never mind. Just, what was it like?"

"No, what were you going to say?" she seemed hesitant to respond, but I really wanted to know what she wasn't saying. I prompted, "A scene from…"

"_Unfaithful_," she finally completed. "I'm sorry I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean…"

"No Zoey it's okay," I interrupted because she right, "you're right. I've been unfaithful." I stopped and sat down on a bench we were walking by suddenly feeling like I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. I continued honestly as Zoey asked, "You saw what you had to do to get it to stop. I can't stop myself with him. He kisses me and…I can't stop him."

Zoey sat down next to me and asked, "What does it feel like when he kisses you?"

Honestly…I'm completely awful because when he kisses me, "He can curl my toes with just a touch. Make my knees weak with a single graze of his lips on mine. And make me completely forget my own name with a real, deep kiss. And that's why I can never stop it. I think it's the most pleasure I've ever felt and I just can't think when he's touching me or kissing me. And if I can't think how am I supposed to stop it?"

"I don't think that you can let it start if you want to end it," Zoey offered, but I've tried that.

"I tried that and he started anyway. Right before he kissed me this last time I told him it was over, I told him I love Sam. I love Sam and he kissed me anyway," Why is Logan doing this?

Zoey seemed to need clarification, "So you said you love Sam and then he just kissed you?" I nodded. "Well, I guess if you really want him to stop you'll find something to give you strength around him and somehow make him understand that you really want it to stop."

"I guess," I said hopelessly. If telling him it's over and I love Sam doesn't work I don't know what will.

We headed back to our building to our rooms. I went to take a long shower to try and feel clean again, but I couldn't seem to feel clean again.

I've kissed him back, but today was different, I kissed him. I kissed him and if people didn't keep stopping us I wouldn't have been the one to stop us from…I don't even want to think about it. I'm awful. I'm awful. I'm awful. I'm such a horrible person. I don't deserve Sam.

Sam, when I got back to my room after my long shower, he had left me a message.

He said, "Hello love, I have a surprise for you. Now, I was going to wait, I bought it along time ago, but after we talked earlier, I just can't wait anymore. I wish I could be there to see your face when you see it, but I just couldn't wait any longer to give it to you. So, there a little secret compartment on the bottom of the jewelry box I gave you last Christmas and the surprise is inside. So, go find it and then play my next message."

He's so sweet and thoughtful and I don't deserve him at all.

I found the compartment easily, I can't believe I never noticed it. I opened it and found a ring. A very pretty white gold ring with a tiny little diamond in the center was what was hidden the my jewelry box, it's what Sam couldn't wait to give me.

I quickly hit play on my answering machine, "It's a promise ring. I've wanted to give it to you for so long. I know you keep saying 'we'll see' but I know we belong together and were going to be together forever. And I hope you wear it because I love you and I'll love you forever and if you wear it then you know it too. You know that you love me and you'll love me forever. And…um…I hope you wear it. I love you. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye."

That's it. This ring is a sign. It's my answer; it's the thing that will give me strength. It will get Logan to back off.

I slid the ring on my left hand ring finger and just stared at it there. Then everything just felt overwhelming and I started crying. I haven't cried once since this whole horrible mess began, but I don't know, I guess I couldn't take it anymore. I just can't take any of this anymore. I can't handle the guilt. Sam, I belong with Sam. Logan is just physical.

"It's not just physical for him," that horrible voice in my head intrudes.

And that can't matter. It can't matter what it is for him, because for me it has to be over. I'm with Sam, I'm with Sam forever now. Logan will see that, he'll see the ring, he'll see my commitment. He'll see that it's over as soon as I can get myself to stop crying. I'll stop crying and I'll try to make myself look like I haven't been crying and then it's over with Logan. It's really over, that's what wearing this ring means, it's over, forever it's over. Goodbye Logan.

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**A/N:** Okay so I think you can see what the next chapter will be about. We have yet to reach the climax of this story. And I'm not completely sure of the length but it will probably be around 16 chapters. Don't get discouraged and don't hate me because this story isn't over.

**IMPORTANT NOTICE**: So, every new chapter gets a few hundred hits within its first week and only the same people seem to be reviewing. Now those people are **FANTASTIC!** I seriously cannot put into words how much I appreciate them, but there's a ton of you who aren't reviewing and it's extremely discouraging. It kind of makes me lack the motivation to find time to write. I seriously have an incredibly busy life. I'm lucky if I get to sleep more than three hours in one night. And I hate to make threats, but I guess I'm resorting to threats because if more of you don't start reviewing I'm probably going to start sleeping during time when I would have been writing. And that means that updates will be very rare. And if you're reading other stories and you have any kind of thoughts on them I encourage you to review them too, after you **REVIEW THIS STORY!** Either way though, thank you for reading, I really hope you're addicted to this story.


	11. My Name?

**A/N: THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE GREAT REVIEWS!** I was seriously impressed with the number of people that responded to my little threat. Sorry about that by the way. I could never actually stop writing, but it's really nice to know that people are reading and they're liking the story. Also, this story does accept anonymous reviews now, I didn't actually know it didn't before, so not having an account is no longer an excuse to not review. And my other stories accept anonymous reviews now as well so review them too.

To show my appreciation for the great reviews I tried to get this chapter up as soon as possible, but unfortunately my week was incredibly busy as usual so this is actually as soon as possible even though it's been about a week.

**Enjoy!**

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I've been sitting on my bed just thinking for hours now. I have no idea what to do next. Everything has gone a different direction than I was expecting.

She kissed me. I can't believe she kissed me. It was what I was hoping for, but still…I guess I never really thought it would happen. Then she tried to end everything, but when I kissed her she was mine completely. In that moment I could feel the desire in her and it wasn't the desire for me to stop and end it like she said, but to continue. If it wasn't for that fire alarm I don't think she would have wanted to stop and I know I didn't want to stop.

So, I've just been sitting on my top bunk thinking about what to do next. After hours of thinking the only thing I've come up with is to see what she does next and figure out something based on that.

Waiting for her was the conclusion I was once again deciding on when Chase came back through our door. I thought he forgot something since he had just left less than a minute ago, but then I saw Dana behind him.

Chase seemed confused as Dana was pushing him back into our room. She had been partially hidden behind him until they were both in the room, the door shut, and they came to stand in front of my bed. I saw her face then, her eyes, she's been crying. And suddenly there is this aching pain in my chest. I've never seen her cry and I never want to see her cry again. Though technically she's not crying now, but it's bad enough that I can tell she has been.

I have a bad feeling about this, a very bad feeling. It is still Wednesday; the day absolutely awful things just seem to happen.

Chase started to move back towards the door and Dana grabbed him, "Chase just stay and Logan stay exactly where you are and um…Chase if he comes toward me stop him." I was about to ask what the hell was going on when she continued cutting me off, "Logan just let me say this, okay?"

Chase sat down on his bed. Dana stood in front of my bed with pleading bloodshot eyes and though I can tell this is going to go very bad, I simply can't refuse her. I stayed silent and nodded.

She looked down. She has been wringing her hands and I think I just saw something shiny on a very important finger…but that can't be right. He couldn't have…she couldn't have…it's impossible.

She looked back up at me with determination and began, "Logan this is over. Whatever it was, whatever you were doing or thinking with all of it, it doesn't matter, its over." She uncovered her hand and held it out plain for me to see…Oh God no. She went back to wringing her hands and her eyes look so much sadder as she confirmed, "Sam gave me a promise ring and I've accepted it." I just…I can't even think. This can't be happening, but she continued while fighting back tears that were already in her voice, "So…let's just forget about all of this. We have classes and basketball together…so maybe it would be best if we just pretend that none of this ever happened." Her sorrow filled eyes were locked with mine. I can't believe any of this is happening. It has to be a nightmare. This can't be real. The closest to tears I have ever seen her she continued, "You…you have to be in my life but…I can't...I can't…" she struggled as a tear slipped down her cheek that she hurriedly wiped away and rushed looking away at the door, "I'm with Sam." And she quickly made her way back to the door, but paused with her hand on the door knob and said in a watery voice, "Goodbye Logan." And then she was out the door in a split second.

That didn't just happen. This can't be happening. I…I can't even think…she did not just choose him. She can't just choose him. She doesn't even love him…I could have sworn she doesn't. No, she doesn't I'm sure of it…I was sure of it.

She's wearing _his_ ring. She accepted _his _ring. She chose him. And I did nothing. Should I even do anything?

"Are you okay?" Chase asked sheepishly from the bottom bunk. I forgot he was even here.

I don't know how to respond to that. She looked…miserable why she was ending it, but she's wearing his ring. She told me it's over and she chose him. She chose him.

Taking my silence as a no Chase offered, "I guess we'll be miserable together."

Miserable…I should feel miserable, but I'm just numb still in shock that any of this happened.

The door swung open again and my immediate hope was that it was Dana coming to take it all back. Of course it wasn't, it was Zoey.

Her rushed entrance gave Chase a startle. "Oh…uh hey," he awkwardly stuttered.

She grabbed his hand and stood him up right in front of her. She didn't let go of his hand as she said, "Look, I didn't know what to say last night. I was shocked and…I just didn't know what I wanted. But, I haven't talked to you all day and I missed you. I don't know exactly what I feel for you, but I think it's something. So, would you rather have an awkward friendship or would you rather try to find out what this is between us?"

That was my line. I mean it was supposed to be my line, the one we planned for the game Chase didn't show up for earlier.

Chase's face broke out in a wide smile as he replied, "Do you want to go get a smoothie?" Zoey copied his happy grin as she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly as she let out an excited squeal that shows that she spends way too much time with Nicole. Chase continued while happily hugging her back, "Then maybe tomorrow we can go to dinner or something, but we'll have to go somewhere different then wherever we go for lunch."

Zoey let go and stepped back a little holding both of his hands and said happily, "Absolutely."

They headed out the door hand in hand, but before the door shut Chase came back in and said to me, "Apparently things get better and I'm sure they will for you too." I noticed Zoey giving him a confused look as the door was shutting. He's probably going to tell her everything. I guess it doesn't really matter she already knows more than most people anyway.

Somehow though, I have the feeling that things won't work out for me like they are for Chase and Zoey.

She chose him. The fact that I thought she looked like she had a heavy heart while she ended it or the fact that when I kiss her I don't think she loves him, are probably not really facts at all. They are my wishes, my dreams, my desires that I have deluded myself into thinking are real. The only thing that was really real was her words, her ring. She chose him.

And him…I should have killed him when I had the chance. How dare that cheating son of a bitch give her a ring! A ring! I can't believe the lengths that asshole is willing to go just to get her into bed. I know he says he loves her, but if he loves her then he wouldn't be able to kiss other women, to sleep with other women. I've never been able to.

I know, Logan Reese "ladies man" never been with a girl? Yeah, well, I've been in love with Dana for a long time. And before anything ever got very far with another girl the guilt would settle in. The guilt that I knew I was in love with someone other than the girl I happened to be with. Then after Cathy I never let anything happen with any girl really out of fear that I would slip up and say Dana's name again and maybe I wouldn't be able to bribe the next girl. And that jack ass Sam doesn't seem to feel any of that guilt and doesn't worry about saying the wrong name, he just keeps choosing to be with other girls. And she just chose him.

She can't love him though, she just can't. She kisses me and…she means it, I swear she means it. And you can't kiss someone like you mean it if you're in love with someone else. I know you can't.

Still, she ended it. She pleaded with me with those sorrow filled eyes for it to be over and as much as I want her and need her, how am I supposed to refuse her when refusing her will probably only hurt her more. As much as it breaks my heart I think it's over.

It's over. She doesn't love me. She doesn't love me…but, I still love her.

I laid down on my bed and slipped into a state between awake and asleep. I watched the shadows on the wall change with the varying degrees of light that entered the room with passing time. I heard Chase and Michael going about their nightly routines, heard them sleeping, heard them get up and get ready in the morning, heard them leave, and I just stayed there, in bed, numb. Screw my classes, I don't even care. As pathetic as it sounds I don't have a reason to get up everyday anymore. So, I didn't get up.

I miss her. I should have never done any of this. At least then I wouldn't have known that she doesn't love me. I would have wondered forever, but I would have remained her friend, I would have never hurt her, and I would have never known that she doesn't love me.

The window is open and some girl (most likely) is listening music pretty loud because I can hear it. Crappy song after crappy song played until it was nearing the end of lunch break and Dido's "White Flag" started playing.

_I will go down with this ship_

_And I won't put my hands up and surrender _

_There will be no white flag above my door _

_I'm in love and always will be_

I like the sound of that. Maybe its destiny, maybe fate is telling me to continue to fight for Dana. I'm in love with her and I always will be and maybe I shouldn't just surrender like this. Although, if I really think that fate is trying to tell me something from overhearing songs some girl plays then it's also telling me that I'm a "Redneck Woman," and the "Girl All the Bad Guys Want," and apparently a "Beautiful Disaster." Yeah, I think it's just my wishful thinking again that has me hoping fate played that song as a sign.

Chase and Zoey came in hand in hand. I guess their first day as a couple is going well. I glanced at the clock, school is out already; it feels like just minutes ago that she chose someone else.

"Logan get up and get down here now," Zoey ordered. I don't know what she wants and I don't care.

Since I didn't respond verbally or physically Zoey said, "Fine," and she and Chase climbed on each end of the bunk bed and began trying to shove me off.

"What the hell!" I screamed trying not to fall off my bed. They still shoved so I caved, "Fine, fine, I'm up." I said as I got down and sat on the couch.

Chase sat on the couch next to me and Zoey sat on the coffee table across from me.

Zoey began, "Chase told me about what happened with Dana yesterday." I knew he would. She continued, "I know she's wearing a ring from Sam…"

"Son of a bitch," I muttered under my breath at the mention of that cretin's name.

"What was that?" Zoey asked interrupting whatever she was going to say because apparently what I said wasn't as quiet as I thought.

You know what? Screw it, none of it matters anymore, I don't give a damn about anything so, "I called him a son of a bitch, because that's what that cheating bastard is. Yeah, I said cheating. I caught him here, when he said he was at school, with another girl. Then he has the nerve to go and say he loves Dana and give her a ring…I should have killed him when I had the chance."

Zoey and Chase look completely shocked and didn't say anything. In the silence my anger stewed. I can't believe she chose a guy who is such a…slime ball.

Chase composed himself from the shock first, "Wow, um…then you really need to hear what me and Zoey found out, well really it was her."

"Yeah, um…" Zoey began trying to gather her thoughts, "so Dana was wearing the ring today, but all day she seemed like her mind was completely somewhere else and she kept playing with it, letting it slip on and off of her finger repeatedly. Then yesterday I was trying to be on her side too, which I thought might actually help you, and I talked to her after I pulled the fire alarm." What! "Sorry about that by the way, I know it's probably not how you wanted that to go, but don't worry, just listen I'm getting somewhere good." She better. "Anyway, I talked to her and I asked her what it felt like to be with you and by the answer she gave I started to think even more than I already did that this thing between you two isn't one sided. Then Chase told me what happened last night and Dana was wearing the ring today, she hadn't changed her mind, but…it just didn't make sense to me. Then I started thinking of what I said to you yesterday at lunch about how I kept ignoring all the signs over the years that you're in love with Dana and I started to think about her and I remembered something that I wrote off at the time as being some fluke thing. Around the end of last year I was giving Jeremy Farmer a ride, because of safe ride not by choice, and his jaw had healed so he was talking. But, you know the guy's a jerk, so I never really paid much attention to anything he said. He said something about Dana though. Without the colorful language he said, 'If she could have managed to say the right name my jaw wouldn't still be killing me.' I didn't think anything of it at the time because he was drunk and he called her a lot of names along with that and it was pretty obvious he hated her."

"What does this have to do with me?" I interrupted. The last day has been really crap-tastic and I just don't have the patience to listen to Zoey ramble worse than Nicole.

"Be patient," Zoey ordered, "you'll be thanking me in a minute." I hope so. "So, I thought that that may have been one of those things I shouldn't have overlooked and I told Chase and we went to investigate at lunch. We found Jeremy in his room. He didn't want to tell us what happened because apparently after Dana broke his jaw she threatened that if he ever spoke those words out loud again she would castrate him. So, I had to threaten that if he didn't tell me and Chase then we'd make sure his…you know…wasn't the only thing he lost. Then I promised that it wouldn't get back to Dana that he told, but it's going to have to." Oh, get to it already and God please let it be good. "October of junior year there was that party off campus at Larry Goldberg's house and Dana went with Sam. Sam drank himself dumb as usual and that was before Dana suddenly stopped drinking at all. I always thought that it was because she drank more that night than she had ever before and she must not have liked the after feeling, but I'm not so sure now. Anyway after lots of drinks the two of them were making out in some corner and Jeremy was near by and he heard Dana moan, 'Logan.'" HELL YES! This is just too good to be true. I must be dreaming. "Sam was apparently too drunk to notice and while Dana was drunk enough to make the slip, she did notice it and Jeremy noticed her notice it. Being the jerk that he is he decided to taunt her with bring it up and threatening to tell Sam and you and that's when Dana hit him." Wow, wow, wow. She said my name. She said _my_ name.

As great as that is the fact remains, "But she chose him," I said more to myself than to them.

"But after learning all of this neither of us think that that's what she really wanted," Chase declared.

"You have to fight for her," Zoey directed.

I really wish I could, but, "She doesn't want me to."

"Trust me Logan, all of this tells me that she doesn't know she wants you to, but she wants you to. And if you do fight for her I think you're they guy she's going to end up with, I know you're the one she's supposed to be with," Zoey argued.

I really really can't resist anymore, "Yeah, okay, I won't give up." I never wanted to give up. Just, God, please don't let me hurt her by doing this.

Chase gave me a pat on the back and Zoey hugged me and said, "Okay I'm going to go and try and talk to her and confront her about everything and then you should give her some time to think so I'll call you a while later then you can go over and do whatever."

Right, what am I going to do? She asked me to leave her alone and this is probably going to be my absolute last chance to try and get her so what do I do?

As Zoey was walking toward the door she stopped and helped to answer my unspoken questions, "Have you ever told her that you love her?" she asked me wonderingly.

"No," I replied simply, it's always seemed too soon.

She simply said, "Maybe that should change," and left.

Maybe that should change. If this is my last chance and she's already told me she chose him then I really have nothing more to lose. I guess I could lose her for a second time, but it also might just maybe mean (if Zoey, Chase, and those possibly imagined facts are right) that I won't lose her at all.

So, I showered, and got ready to go. I pulled this gift I got her a while ago and never really thought it was the right time to give it to her but now its seems like it might be my last chance to give it to her.

I sat back down on my bed and waited. Zoey only left to talk to Dana like forty minutes ago so I probably have a while to wait. When my phone rings though, I'm going to have to go in for the final round. This is it. It's my last chance to touch her, to kiss her, to tell her she's gorgeous, to tell her how much I want her, how much I need her, how much I love her. And either it's going to be the last time I tell her I love her or it's going to be the first of many.

Sam, should I tell her what a bastard he is? Hmm…no; I don't think that's the best way to do this. First, it would probably look like some pathetic attempt to get her to hate him and chose me by default and she probably won't believe me since I don't have real proof. But, more importantly, I don't want her to choose me just because Sam's an ass. Still thinking that he's a great guy, I want her to choose me because she wants to choose me.

God, I hope she chooses me. I don't know what I'm going to do if she doesn't. I don't even want to think about it; I just want her to choose me. I want to say "I love you" for the first time but not the last. I want to be able to tell her I love her whenever I want to; even if it's a million times a day for every moment I think of her. I just really want her to choose me.

Last year she said my name and when she chooses the guy she really wants to promise forever too…I hope she says my name again.

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**A/N:** First, I'm really sorry for all the typing errors throughout the story. I never get to sleep much anymore so I'm only ever half awake which causes me to overlook mistakes easily no matter how many times I proof read. I am going to try and fix all of them eventually.

Second, I have a bunch of rambling on my profile and I'm probably going to delete it all soon, including the recently added "About Me" section. So, check it out if you want, it's probably going to be gone in the next week.

Third, the next chapter is the climax. My goal with the next chapter is to leave you speechless and I'm pretty confident it will. A great way to get me to update is to **REVIEW** and make me feel guilty for leaving you guys hanging and honestly if you **REVIEW **enough you may persuade me to blow off some stuff I should be doing to write and update soon. So, thanks for reading and you know what to do next.


	12. Right

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! You guys are fantastic!**

Hint of things to come: I believe in the saying, "A dream is a wish your heart makes."

**Warning: By definition a climax in a literary work is the turning point. This chapter is that turning point, but the story is far from over. Be sure to read the long note at the bottom it is very important. **

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As soon as I got back to my room after school I took off that damn ring. I think whoever sold it to Sam must have lied to him and it's not really white gold because I think I'm breaking out in a rash. I just had to get it off; it's been annoying the hell out of me all day. Hmm…there's not really a rash there…maybe I just need to get used to having a ring on that finger, it's just awkward right now, I'll get used to it.

With the ring off, (I'll get used to it later), I laid back down in bed. I didn't get much sleep last night. I was crying, uncontrollably, for a while.

I don't know why and I don't want to know why, but ending whatever that thing was with Logan was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. Maybe it was the look on his face, like I was causing him so much pain with ending it…and no one ever wants to hurt a friend right? That's why it was so…horrible,…heart wrenching, to end it. That has to be why, nothing else is…acceptable.

It is over though. It's definitely over. I haven't even seen him today.

I wish I knew why he started the whole thing…no actually I can't know why, I just need to forget about all of it. I need to forget about the way it felt when he touched me, kissed me, held me, was absolutely anywhere near me; how amazing and…no, no, no, no, no. I can't…I just can't…I'm with Sam.

I need to see Sam; maybe then everything will just go back to how it was before. I am going to see Sam, two weeks from tomorrow which will be the day after Thanksgiving. Hopefully the heat wave will be over by then too because I don't know how much more I can take of all this. Seeing him just can't come soon enough.

I may not feel the same way after I see him though. Well, actually, it's not me that I'm worried about changing, it's Sam. Next time I see him I'm going to have to tell him about Logan and just hope that he forgives me. I know I shouldn't wait, but I don't want to tell him over the phone, it just seems extra cruel that way. It's bad enough that I…cheated on him, which I still can't believe I'm even capable of doing that, but I did it, I cheated on him and the only way to make everything okay again is to stop it, which I've done, and tell him. Hopefully he forgives me, but I kind of hope he doesn't want me to wear that ring. It's just so annoying to wear and maybe I can't see the rash yet, but one will probably develop. I could have sworn it was burning my skin earlier.

Maybe he should take back the sentiment of the ring too. I mean…I just don't want to decide…the rest of my life right now. I don't want us to end; I just don't really want to promise forever, not yet. I mean I'm only seventeen and forever is a long time right now. I'm wearing the ring though. Well, I'm not wearing it at the moment, but I have accepted it. It's just that he wants me to wear it, he wants me to make that promise, and I've cheated on him and accepting it is the least I could do. I need him to forgive me when I tell him about Logan, so I had to accept the ring; I have to show him that I'm sorry. And I am really sorry because Sam is a really great guy and he doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve a girlfriend who cheats on him and after two years still isn't ready to…go all the way. I know, I know, he's great and patient, but even with the ring I'm not ready for us to…it just doesn't feel right. I think I just have major intimacy issues. And Sam doesn't push; he's so patient waiting for me to work through my issues. Even if the idea of marriage kind of freaks me out right now, I owe him wearing this ring; he's been so good to me. So, after he hopefully forgives me, if he still wants me to have the ring, if he still means it, I still have to wear it.

I wish Logan would have shown up to class today though. I don't think I'd feel as awful as I do if he was there, if I saw him okay. But, he didn't come to English or chemistry and no one's mentioned him to me all day and I don't know if he's okay. I need him to be okay. But, he didn't come to English or chemistry and no one's mentioned him to me all day and…I don't think he's okay.

And the thought of that, the mere thought of that, and I can feel the tears behind my eyes again. The tears, they shouldn't be there, this is his fault. He kissed me when he knew that…I can't…and he started all of this. I shouldn't feel so terrible for ending what he started, what he brought on himself, but I do; I feel absolutely…crushed.

I just need to see that he's okay. I wish I could see that he's okay. I wish I could get up and go find him and see him okay. But, I'm with Sam and I just can't do that.

Then that oh so annoying voice inquires, "But you want to see him?"

Yes, I do. I know that that's probably wrong because I'm with Sam, but it's the truth. I don't know why I want to, but I do. It doesn't even matter that I want to or why I want to because I'm not going to. I may want to see Logan, but I'm with Sam, and the right thing for me to do is not see Logan, so I'm not going to.

Someone knocked on my door and I'm too lazy to get up so I yelled, "Come in."

"Hey," Zoey said coming in and sitting on the bed that was Lola's. "Are you feeling okay?" Jeez, just because I'm in bed in the middle of the afternoon does not mean there is anything wrong with me. Hasn't she ever heard of naps?

"I'm fine, just tired," I replied shortly.

"Okay, I just need to talk to you really quick," so Chase did tell her about last night, I knew he would.

She's probably just going to tell me that I'm doing the right thing, because I am and I know cheating definitely isn't in her moral code so I'm ready to accept her support, "Okay."

"You said Logan's name last year at Larry Goldberg's party when you were making out with Sam," I did not! Well, actually, I kind of did, but I was drunk, it did not mean anything. And how the hell does she know? Please don't tell me that I'm actually going to have to go through with that threat to castrate Jeremy.

Okay, talking back, right, "I was drunk, it was no big deal."

"It was a big enough deal for you to break Jeremy's jaw," damn Zoey.

This can't be happening, "Look Zoey, all of that is in the past and it doesn't matter. I'm wearing Sam's ring for good." Oh crap, I'm not actually wearing the ring, it's on my dresser.

"You're not wearing the ring," why oh why did she have to notice? And why does she seem excited at that?

"It irritates my skin," the rash will appear…eventually. Why is she even bringing any of this up? She's not volunteering any information so I asked, "Why did you come here Zoey? Was it just to mention something that was in the past and doesn't matter?"

She came and sat next to me on my bed as she said, "No, I came to talk to you about something that's in the present that does matter."

"Well then why even bring that up?"

"Because it's what I came to talk about," either I'm incredibly confused or she's suggesting something insane. She must have caught on to my lack of comprehension and explained, "I would believe you when you say that saying Logan's name didn't mean anything because fantasies are normal and Logan's hot, so no big deal," exactly, so why are we talking about it? "But you broke someone's jaw to make sure no one else ever found out, that means it means something. Yesterday you ended things with Logan and I don't think that's what you wanted."

"It's what's right. I'm with Sam," this is just the way things have to be. And anyway, she's wrong, "And just because I hit Jeremy doesn't mean it meant anything. It just meant that that jerk could have made it seem like it meant something and I didn't want that to happen. You know how I hate it when people try to exert some kind of control over me and he was trying to blackmail me with knowing that meaningless information, so I really didn't have a problem with hitting him."

"If you hate people control you so much then why do you let Sam control you?"

"What?" I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about.

"He gave you a ring that promises marriage at some point and you just accepted it. You didn't fight it, you didn't question it, he wanted it so you're doing it, but you don't want it. You're letting him dictate what your future is by doing whatever he wants," Zoey argued.

She's right but, "It's not that simple. You're right; I don't want to get married. I absolutely don't want to become Dana Lugner like he wants, but I owe him. I've cheated on him and no I don't want to get married and I don't want to change my name, but I don't want us to end. So, right now it's just to show him that I'm sorry. And you know just because I accept it doesn't mean anything has to happen anytime soon. And eventually if it comes to it I'll let him know that I don't want to change my name. But for now, when I'm trying to show that I'm sorry, I need to do what he wants."

"What about Logan?"

Logan, I really can't think about Logan anymore, because when I think about Logan I think things that I shouldn't be thinking about Logan, things that I can't be thinking about him. "Logan was a mistake," I told Zoey, because I'm with Sam so he has to be.

She took my hand and said sincerely, "Dana you're one of my best friends and I just want you to be happy so I'm going to tell you something and I'm not going to argue with you about it and I'm not even going to badger you with bringing it up ever again, I just want you to listen and think about it. Okay?" I nodded not having any idea what she could be so serious about. "Yesterday you told me how it makes you feel to be with Logan and I wasn't sure if it really meant anything. I thought Logan was maybe just like a real life Mc-Steamy, but then this morning Chase kissed me," she said smiling bigger than I have ever seen her smile, "and I kind of felt the same way about him. There were lots of enormous sparks and that means something. It means that if I would have passed up the chance to be with him then I might have been passing up the right guy. But, I didn't pass it up, I'm with Chase and I have a feeling it's going to be for a while. I don't want you to pass up something right either. I know you're with Sam and cheating is wrong, but you can't control when you meet someone that means something. I think Logan is someone who means something for you and for the sake of your happiness I think you owe it to yourself to find out exactly what he means. Now, I'm not going to argue and I'm not going to bring it up again, I just want you to be happy and I don't want you to have doubts. So, I hope you figure out what Logan means to you and what Sam means to you and whatever you ultimately decide, I hope you're positive in that decision." She gave my hand a slight squeeze, stood up and headed for the door. Before she went out she turned around and said to me, "Dana, just trust your heart, I'm sure it will lead you in the right direction. Mine has always eventually gotten me exactly where I'm supposed to be and I'm sure if you let it your heart will lead you in the right direction too." And she left.

I know that when I nodded my head I was agreeing to think about whatever Zoey was about to tell me, but if I knew that that was what she was going to say, I would have never agreed to think about it because…I can't.

And I absolutely cannot handle any of this right now. I've made decisions…and it's not that easy, they can't just be forgotten and undone. Even if I wanted…I can't, I'm with Sam. I can't just suddenly change my mind, it wouldn't be right. Everything about my life right now seems incredibly messed up and I feel like I can't even think, but I hope everything will just go back to normal if I keep trying to just do what's right.

Doing the right thing means staying away from Logan. So, four o'clock passed and I was still in my room, still away from him. Five o'clock and I'm still in my room, still doing the right thing. Six o'clock and I'm starving, but I have to stay. I can't go out to go to the cafeteria, because at this point I don't trust that that's where I would end up. Seven o'clock and I'm still in my room, thankfully I had remembered the left over pizza in my refrigerator, so I'm still doing the right thing. Eight o'clock and I went to the door because I could move on if I just saw him okay, but I went back and sat at my desk because leaving would be wrong. At eight forty-seven there was a knock at my door.

I ran to my door and rushed to open it and oh thank God its Logan, I missed him so much. No, no, no, I did not just think that. He can't be here. This is wrong, very very wrong and he has to leave.

"Yesterday I heard what you had to say and now I need you to listen to what I have to say. After I'm done though, I'll do whatever you want, even if you still want me to leave you alone. So…um…can I come in?" he said looking adorably nervous.

"Yeah," I immediately replied as I realized that I needed to say no. This is wrong he can't be here. Still, I moved out of the doorway allowing him to come in. He brought in what looks like a gift bag with him. I shut the door behind him and immediately realized that I probably should have left it open, but still, I didn't go back and open it.

I joined him in the middle of my tiny room as he gently set the gift bag on my desk. Three feet between us…that's a safe distance right?

"Well," I prompted for him to talk, but I'm not exactly prepared for this. Whatever he says I still have to stick with my original decision so…okay, this just can't have an effect on me.

He met my eyes and so starts the effect on me. I crossed my arms over my chest like I was trying to hide myself because he sees too much. He needs to look away, I need to look away, but neither of us did as he began, "I would do anything you would ever want me to do," oh no, he can't say things like that, he can't, "and if you really want this to be over then it'll be over," no, what? I meant yes, it has to be yes. "But if its over and everything is going to have to go back to the way it was before, if this is my last chance to be completely honest with you then I've got some things to say." Oh no, I'm in big big trouble and I shouldn't listen to this, I should leave, but…I really don't want to leave.

He took my lack of protest as a sign to continue and continued, "If everyday from now on I can't tell you exactly what I think then I have to tell you now that everyday, at every moment, you're drop dead gorgeous. Wearing anything, after the effects of any kind of weather, with or without cosmetic enhancement, just you, you're stunning. You're that kind of beautiful that makes me forget what I was thinking when you walk into a room, though ninety nine point nine percent of the time I was already thinking of you. So, if I can never tell you the truth again, know that you're always, always gorgeous to me." He's…yeah, I'm in deep deep trouble. And I still know I should leave, but…I really really don't want to leave. This is absolutely completely wrong and I'm not sure I…I'm not sure…I care. But I have to care, he just has to finish and leave and everything will be fine.

He reached for the bag and said, "I got this for you a while ago and I didn't know when was the right time to give it to you…so I just haven't. Um… here, I'll…because it's breakable," he said as he reached into the bag and delicately pulled out…glass flowers. Red roses and white lilies, they're so familiar. "Every time anyone ever gave you real flowers you would have that fake excited smile of yours on and then last year when we went to the mall together to find something to get Chase for his birthday I saw you stop and look at these so I went back and bought them. You seemed to like them and I wanted you to have them, so…" he drifted off not knowing what to say. So Logan is standing before me gently holding a bunch of glass flowers in his hand, this is just like that reoccurring dream I've had.

Right so he seems to be waiting for a response. Well, I know what comes next in the dream…

In two swift steps I closed the distance between us. I stood up on my tiptoes and placed my hand lightly on his chest for balance as I gave him that same quick kiss on the lips as in my dream.

I let my feet hit the floor flat and my hand fall from his chest and he stood looking at me completely surprised and I stood looking up at him knowing that right now I know exactly what I want.

I looked down at the flowers in his hand and carefully took them from him and put them down on my desk. I looked back up at him biting my bottom lip in an effort to prevent my smile from getting any bigger than I already knew it was. Slowly a smile crept onto Logan's face as he started to comprehend, but he wasn't fast enough. I practically threw myself at him kissing him passionately, but I didn't care because he was immediately kissing me back with just as much passion as he always has.

And I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm kissing Logan. I'm making out with Logan, which I started actually. I'm pulling him to me tighter and tighter, because it doesn't feel close enough. And I'm doing all of it because it feels right; he feels right. Logan, everything feels right with Logan. And nothing has ever felt this right, this perfect before, and I don't want it to stop.

My room may be a complete disaster, but I know exactly where everything is. So, walking backwards pulling him with me, kissing passionately still, I led him to my bed, because…I don't want it to stop feeling right.

He caught on to the direction I was leading him and pulled away and asked meeting my open again eyes and sounding breathless, "Are you sure?" Yes.

But this isn't the time to stop thinking rationally, so right…rationally…I kissed him again and…it still feels right. It's always felt right and it still feels right and I think a few minutes ago I took Zoey's advice and was swiftly lead two steps forward, two steps to him. So, thinking rationally, thinking clearly, knowing that I could stop all of this if I wanted to, I knew what I wanted and I said nodding my head eagerly, "Yes."

I said yes because right now I know what I want and I want him. I want him.

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**A/N:** I don't want to mislead anyone, so there are some things I have to point out. **One:** Logan hasn't told Dana he loves her. **Two:** Despite what Dana has decided at the end of the chapter (that in that moment she wants him) she has not said she loves Logan. **Three:** **This is very important;** there is a phrase that reoccurs throughout Dana's chapters, but is not in this one. The absence of this phrase is one of the two reasons this chapter is a turning point (the other being the obvious end of chapter events).

If you're wondering why Dana had that reaction to Logan giving her the glass flowers, well the glass flowers are a symbol. Once you figure out what they are symbolic of you'll figure out why she had that reaction. Don't go thinking anything about this story is random, everything means something, even the small detail of the heat wave they're experiencing is important (it's a metaphor).

And now to the bad news: I got a second job last weekend and I'm still in school with a ton of work to do. In the next ten days I have 7 massive astronomy assignments due, 2 five page papers due plus what my professor is calling "the mother of all quizzes" for my modern middle eastern history class, and a 15 page term paper plus two 5 page papers and four books to read for my U.S. history after WWII class. Plus I have to juggle both jobs and find an apartment because my quarter ends in two and a half weeks and I have to move out and go home for the summer, but I still don't have anywhere to live next year. After these ten horribly busy days are over I have finals, but I do hope to update. **So, I absolutely cannot update in the next ten days, but I hope I can after that. **

Oh, and the next chapter will be shorter than my usual, but I promise it will be good. And I just remembered I think I said this story was about 16 chapters, but I miss counted and it's going to be about 18. That means about six chapters of resolution to come that will be anything but boring.

**Thanks for reading and I hope you REVIEW! **


	13. Forever Tonight

**A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!** Congratulations to CaTcH Me WhEn i fAlL-XoXo for guessing the missing phrase. If you haven't figured it out yet, check out her review (I'm assuming the her part, I think its all females reading, but if not I'd love to hear a guy's opinion).

For this chapter I recommend listening to "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?" the original version performed by The Shirelles who, along with the song, are actually very historically significant, but that's a rant of mine for another time.

Please read the note at the end of this, my shortest, chapter.

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God, she's beautiful. I know, Logan Reese calling a girl beautiful instead of hot or sexy, must be something wrong with me. Nope, actually everything is perfect. You see, I'm in love with Dana; the beautiful girl who is asleep beside me, her head resting on my chest. Tonight she was mine completely, but I can't help wondering will she still love me tomorrow?

Last night she kissed me. She loves me, I know she does, it was in her kiss. It's been in every one of her kisses after that first one when I gave her the flowers. It's been in our actions. But she hasn't said the words. It's not necessary though; I know she loves me. We made love, so of course she loves me, she's not the type of girl that would do that with anyone. She chose me, she loves me.

Still, she didn't say that she loves me. She didn't say anything really at all. I mean when I realized that she didn't want us to stop, that she wanted a lot more than just kissing, I asked her if she was sure. And believe me pulling away and checking, risking her changing her mind; that was one of the hardest things I've ever done because, literally, the girl of my dreams was leading me to her bed. She said yes, I almost couldn't believe it when she said yes, but then she kissed me again and pulled me down with her onto the bed. And yes was all she said. And after, lying in my arms, she fell asleep without saying anything.

With her lying in my arms, I was terrified. She seemed to sleep so easily, while I was awake, trying to remain awake for fear that if I slept I would awake to find it all a dream. But I did fall asleep and I awoke now to find that I'm still here with her. I'm still in her bed; she's still in my arms. So everything is perfect…for now.

I can't help wondering what will happen in the morning. When I first came over I noticed she wasn't wearing her ring. Has she broken up with Sam? If she hasn't, will she? Will this be the only night I hold her or will it be the first? Will the last time I kissed her be the last time I kiss her? Will she regret tonight in the morning? Or will she still love me tomorrow?

I can still feel her touch everywhere; her kisses still linger. I don't think my skin will ever feel the same. Every minute from now on every millimeter of my skin will scream at any loss of contact with her. My lips ache to feel hers again, but she's sleeping so peacefully in my arms I dare not wake her.

Though there is also the other reason I hope she doesn't awaken from her sweet slumber; I fear her reaction. What if when she opens her eyes again the denial has returned? Or what if the love has faded?

I never expected for her to love me in return. I just expected to love her forever. And I hoped that eventually it would get easier to be the guy she didn't love, to live without her. But, I'm not the guy she doesn't love. It was merely hours ago that I felt it, she loves me. And if it's possible I think I love her even more. I've always loved her. To see her was to love her and love only her forever. But now, with her here with me, I love her more, because she's here with me. I love her more because it's okay to love her more. She loves me, not someone else. Loving her is finally right, so I love her more. I love her so much…it's indescribable. She is everything to me.

My eyes are heavy with sleep, but I still don't want to drift from wake. It feels like hours now that I've been trying to delay sleep, just lying here watching her sleep serenely in my arms. Her face is gracefully lit by moonlight flowing in from her window. God, how did I get this lucky? Luck, destiny, fate, all brought me here, with her. Perfect.

Then comes the thought that keeps me awake; the thought that makes perfect potentially only temporary. What will happen when morning comes? Will she still love me or was her love only for tonight? If her love is only for tonight then I don't want to miss a minute of it. I don't want to waste the precious few hours sleeping when I could be awake enjoying the fact that I'm here with her. If her love will fade with the setting moon then I hope that the moon never sets and the sun never rises and that it remains forever tonight. If she loves me for only tonight then let tonight last forever.

Realistically, I know it won't. Morning will come. All I can do is enjoy now and hope that she will still love me tomorrow. I gently kissed her forehead and prayed God please let her still love me tomorrow.

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**A/N:** I know it was incredibly short, especially by my standards, but it was all that was necessary for Logan at this time. It is very important that we start the morning off with Dana, which left Logan to be rather uneventful. Well, for those of you that did not get what was going on with Dana leading Logan to her bed, I guess it was a little revealing.

I have to clear up a few things. There seems to have been some misunderstandings. There is the assumption that Dana chose Logan, but as I've said you have to pay attention in my stories. I know I'm asking you to work when this is a recreational activity, but everything is included or not included or written a particular way for a reason. How I phrase things is very important. This story is very intricate (just check the list of literary devices at use in this story that is now on my profile) and so much better if you're not just skipping around for eye catching phrases. If you read every word, if you read between the lines, if you read what isn't written, this story is so much better. So, go back, read the last chapter, read this chapter again, and I ask you, did she really choose Logan?

If you're wondering what the flowers symbolized, well no one's been right. The glass flowers are delicate and breakable so, what else that would be incredible important to Dana that is delicate and breakable? Yes, the answer is incredibly cheesy, sorry.

If you're looking for a hint as to what the heat wave is a metaphor for try listening to "(Love is like a) Heat Wave", once again the original version, by Martha Reeves and the Vandellas. Although in my personal opinion their best song is actually "Nowhere To Run", but once again I'm off topic.

Finally, I once again regret to inform you that I can't update for about a week, maybe more. I have finals and then I'm moving and quitting my two jobs so I have stuff to wrap up and then as soon as my summer break begins so does my new full time summer job. I'm not expecting to have much time to write. I wish I could, but I have to work, need the money. Believe me it is torture not being able to write. I had every word of this short chapter stuck in my head for over ten days without the time to get it down on paper. **So, I promise to update absolutely as soon as I can, which definitely won't be within the next six days. **

Thank you so much for reading and I would greatly appreciate your thoughts, so **_PLEASE REVIEW!_** I usually try to respond to reviews, answering questions, commenting on comments, though sometimes I lose track of who I've responded to or not. I don't like to post review response in chapters though so if you are reviewing anonymously and you would like me to respond either leave me an e-mail address somehow (PM or something) or you can find me on aim to talk, my names on my profile.

Sorry for the notes being almost as long as the chapter! I ramble, it's a bad habit.

Thank you again for reading and thank you for your continuous patience.


	14. Fleeting Perfection

**A/N:** **Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed!** ragsnhphg and pebbles-05 were both right in guessing that the glass flowers symbolize Dana's heart (I know I'm super cheesy), but think about it, it makes sense and if it doesn't further explanation will be given in later chapters.

Sorry it took me so long to get this up, but I've been busy and I shall continue to be (hopefully) so I don't know when I'll be able to update again. (And it hasn't let me submit since I finished itfour days ago, just adding to the list of reasons why I loath computers).

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Mmm…there's a pair of arms wrapped around me and I'm laying on something that is rhythmically rising and falling. As I opened my eyes I had the biggest smile on my face because I knew who the person was who I was practically lying on top of; it's Logan and it's just…perfect. And I usually hate waking up, but now…being awake has something very appealing about it, Logan.

I can't believe Logan's here. We're here. It's like a dream, but it's not, it's real. He's real. We're real. And it's just perfect.

Wait, what's today? Friday, right? Yeah, Friday, so we can't stay here like this forever, we'll have to get up for classes. Maybe we can skip, but he did skip just yesterday, so maybe we shouldn't. If we did stay here the entire gang would probably be coming by all day to see where we were and unpredictable company would make staying less fun. I guess we should just go to class.

The sun is up and I didn't set my alarm so it's very possible that the school day has already begun.

Trying not to disturb Logan I turned my head around to glance at my clock. It's seven fifteen.

Oh crap! It's Friday, and on Friday before classes stared I was supposed to meet with Mrs. Burtonni. I'm supposed to be in her office in fifteen minutes. Damn it! I really don't want to go. I don't want to leave his arms. But I have to go. It's mid November, some college application deadlines have already passed and there's a bunch more due in just two weeks and I haven't even figured out where I want to go yet. If I don't go to college my parents are going to kill me. Especially if they ever found out that the reason I didn't go to college was because I skipped my meeting to stay in bed with Logan.

I got up carefully trying not to wake Logan. I really didn't want to leave, but I really can't miss this meeting. So, I threw on some pajamas and headed for the bathroom for a quick version of my morning routine and rushed back to my room to get dressed.

As I was sitting on Lola's old bed putting my shoes on I heard, "Going somewhere?" I had been looking down to put my shoes on and the sudden sound of his voice startled me slightly. He looks concerned and completely tempting leaning up on one arm lying in my bed covered only somewhat by a sheet.

I quickly tied my other shoe as I said, "Yes, I have to see Ms. Burtonni before school starts. I still haven't decided on a college." I got up and sat down on the bed facing him and I leaned down and kissed him. He laid back down and pulled me flush on top of him as he deepened what I had intended to just be a quick good morning kiss. I forced myself to pull away because I can't let this get out of hand; I have to go to the meeting. "Mmm…good morning," I mumbled contently as I pulled away from his lips.

"Good morning," he replied with a smile staring deep into my eyes. He reached up to my face (that was still very, very near to his) and brushed my hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear as his eyes still seemed to be entranced with mine. He kissed me again slowly, passionately, meaningfully. God, I don't want to go. I would stay here forever if I could stay here forever. But I have to go to the meeting; I have to go to college. And by the way he's kissing me Logan will still want to kiss me after the meeting. So, parting will only be temporary, but for parting to be temporary I first have to stop kissing him and leave. He flipped me over to be beneath him; his kisses becoming more lustful. Okay, right, I have to stop. I put my hand firmly to his chest and gently pushed him away signaling to him that we have to stop.

"I have to go," I said explaining.

"Don't go," he said still on top of me as he began to kiss my neck. "Skip it," he mumbled as continued his trail of gentle kisses on my neck to my collar bone.

"I can't," I said regretfully, "I still haven't picked a college and I really have to before it's too late to apply anywhere. If I don't go to college my parents are going to kill me."

"Okay," he said pulling away. He quickly kissed me. "We can't have you dead, so you should go," he said as he rolled off of me.

I got up and I was going to head for the door, but I leaned back down and kissed him quickly again. I said somewhat as a question and not as a statement, "I'll see you later?"

"I'll see you soon," he said reassuringly with a smile.

Ms. Burtonni's office is across campus and I'm supposed to be there in like a minute. I really should have stopped kissing Logan sooner so I would be on time, but I've never really been particularly concerned with punctuality and Logan is definitely a very good reason to be late.

Since I was running late I decided to run to her office taking every short cut I could along the way. Running usually clears my head but it wasn't so much running to her office. Flashes of last night kept streaming through my mind resulting in a completely goofy grin to be plastered on my face as I continued on my way to the meeting.

As my thoughts were going back further and further toward the beginning of the night I was cutting through the art building to get to the administration building that is just behind it, but there is a court yard in between. As I set foot in the court yard I came to a completely frozen halt. I forgot about the court yard. I forgot about Sam.

Oh God, oh God, oh God. This isn't real. None of this can be real. It's not possible. I couldn't have just forgotten about him. Just a year and a half ago he told me he loved me right here in this court yard. He made us a picnic and he got me flowers and he made such a big deal out of it and he loves me and he gave me a ring and I accepted the ring just two nights ago and then last night I slept with Logan. This can't be happening I couldn't have done that. This can't be real. This has to be a nightmare; it has to be because I don't know what to do.

Ms. Burtonni was suddenly beside me and I tried to listen to her because I want a distraction from the thoughts in my head. She said, "Good you're running late too. The guy in front of me a Starbucks couldn't make up his mind. It took him twenty minutes to decide on tall regular coffee black." She continued to complain about the Starbucks guy but I couldn't force myself to listen anymore. Everything is falling apart. I'm not capable of this, I'm not.

With Ms. Burtonni still talking I started crying, I couldn't hold it in anymore. This can't be my life. This is too screwed up. I know it's not a nightmare; I'm not going to wake up to find everything all right, because this is real. I'm really with Sam and I really slept with Logan. And I know it's real because if none of this was real then it wouldn't hurt this bad.

"Dana, are you okay?" Ms. Burtonni asked concerned at the sight of my tears.

"No, I'm not," I said because I'm not and I don't know what to do. I started crying harder, my body shuddering with every sob. Floods of tears running down my face, my neck, I feel like I'm wet all over. Gasping for breaths, sniffling but unable to breath still, just quickly causing an enormous headache.

Ms. Burtonni tried to comfort me by putting her arm around me as she led us to her office.

We sat on the couch in her office for a few minutes; me crying, her trying to calm me. I couldn't stop crying; everything is so messed up.

When it was clear that my crying wasn't coming to a stop, Ms. Burtonni decided to talk about why I was crying. She began, "What's wrong Dana?" What isn't wrong?

I let it all spill out because I don't know what to do and I really need someone to help me, "I forgot about Sam. I don't know how it happened or how it's possible. I mean, Sam gave me a promise ring and I accepted it and I told Logan to back off. But then Logan was there and…I don't know…I forgot about Sam…and I just didn't want to stop. Everything is so screwed up now. I don't know what to do."

"Okay," she said slowly. She continued after a second of thought, "Honestly I'm a little confused. You accepted a promise ring from Sam, which should have gotten Logan to end his thing with you. But then you forgot about Sam and something happened with Logan…that concerns Sam?"

"I slept with Logan," I confessed. She looks completely shocked and she should. If someone told me yesterday morning that last night I was going to lose my virginity to Logan I would have probably thought that they were insane. I mean me and Logan…there was never supposed to be a me and Logan.

She seemed to find her voice a minute after my shocking revelation and said, "Okay, so the complications are pretty obvious, um…"

"There's got to be something severely wrong with me. I forgot Sam. He loves me and I can't be capable of any of this," I interrupted.

She thought for a second before responding, "Maybe you forgot Sam because you wanted to forget Sam." My lack of comprehension must have been apparent on my face because she continued explaining, "Think about it, if you had remembered Sam wouldn't…your time with Logan have gone very differently? Maybe you didn't remember Sam because you didn't want things to go differently than they did."

Well, yeah, things would have gone differently had I remembered Sam, but that doesn't matter now. I didn't remember him and now I'm in this horrible mess. "It doesn't matter why it happened, I messed up completely and now I have to figure a way out of this," I told her with hope that she could help.

After a couple of minutes of thought she said, "Dana, I don't know what to tell you. Only you know how you feel. Only you can figure out who you want. All I can tell you is someone is going to get hurt so don't make your decision trying not to hurt anyone because that's inevitable. Follow your heart; it may lead you to Sam, it may lead you to Logan, or maybe to neither, just allow it to lead you to what's right."

Right? This situation is so screwed up I don't even know if there is a right anymore. But there has to be a right choice here; there has to be a right path and a wrong path.

Logan, I think I know what I feel for Logan, maybe. But I've been with Sam for two years and I accepted a ring from him, that means something. Since I met him my freshman year in Paris, this is the longest I've ever gone without seeing Sam. Maybe that's why all this is happening, maybe his sudden absence is…I don't know, messing with my head. I don't think the right thing to do is make this type of huge decision without seeing him again. It's been five and a half months and I just think its really influencing who I'm thinking of right now.

I asked Ms. Burtonni, "I need to go to Connecticut as soon as possible. Is there any way you can get me out of my classes today?"

She sighed and asked, "Will you be visiting a college campus?"

"Yes," he does live on campus so it is unavoidable.

She offered, "Then since it has to do with your future and you will technically be going to a campus, I'll write notes to your teachers to get you excused. Get back as fast as possible and if the school or parents find out you're still missing after the end of the day today I can't help you nor did I ever help you with this. Understand?"

"Yes. Thank you," I said as I got up and headed for the door. I need to get out of here and get back as soon as possible. I just hope I have enough money in my bank account to get me to Sam because I have to see him. The thing is, when I ask my self who I want to be with, in all honesty, my instant answer has been the same for quite some time and it isn't any different now. This is such a huge decision though I can't just blindly trust instant answers. I have to go see Sam and hopefully I won't doubt anything anymore.

I went back to my room and I got a few things I'll need for the trip, which has to be quick. Logan wasn't there anymore and I didn't expect him to be since classes start in about five minutes. I wrote him a note and slipped it under his door as I headed for the front of campus to wait for my taxi to the airport. He'll probably figure out that I'm not here by mid lunch and he'll find the note.

I'm terrified. I don't know what's going to happen. I have this horrible feeling that I'm going to mess all of this up and end up with nothing, with no one, without the one I want…whoever that turns out to be. I'm terrified.

The note I left Logan said: _I'm not sure. I'm sorry._

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**A/N:** I know I do a lot of author's notes, I'm a rambler, but some of them are important. For instance, anyone actually reading this will learn that a cliché airport scene will not be included, Ms.Burtonni will still be in the story, and from now on this is going to be the length of the rest of the chapters, except for maybe the epilogue which might be longer.

Also, I'd like to remind anyone reading who submits anonymous reviews, well first thank you, but secondly, if you ask a question in your review and you would like a response you'll have to figure out a way for me to message you because I don't reply in chapters.

Oh, and I think I said that I won't have time to write because I have a full time summer job, well I don't. My position was given away to someone who got home from school before I did. I'm still a little bitter. Unfortunately, it doesn't mean that I'll have more time to write. I already found a part time job (telemarketing, eek!) but I'm not making as much money as I need to so I've started my own photography business. I added a link on my profile to a few of my recreational pictures on photobucket if anyone wants to check them out. I'm still hoping that I'll be really busy because I need to be for the sake of survival, but so far no one has called about the cheap portrait fliers I posted all around my home town so I might be able to update relatively soon, but I really don't know. I guess what I basically getting at is I can make no guarantees as to when I can update. Sorry.

Last thing and I swear I'll stop rambling, I don't know if people do the beta thing in this category, I haven't really seen it talked about, but since I might have more time and because there are definitely some young authors in this category that might be looking for help, I'm officially offering my assistance. Even though I know I make mistakes, my grammar isn't perfect, and even with proof reading I still have typos, I have actually worked as a tutor (even a writing tutor briefly) and if anyone wants help I am available.

I hope you're still enjoying the story. THANK YOU FOR READING AND I HOPE YOU REVIEW!


	15. Letting Go

**A/N: Thank you to all of the fantastic people who reviewed! It's not a very long chapter, but I hope you enjoy it.

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As soon as Dana left for her meeting I went back to my room and hurriedly got cleaned up and dressed. I wanted to get to Ms. Burtonni's office so I could see Dana before first period. It wasn't necessary that I see her, I just wanted to.

I am a little worried still though. This morning was good. She seemed happy and not regretting us, but I'm still worried. She hasn't mentioned Sam. And I'm not going to mention him; at least I don't think I should. Actually I have no idea what the hell to do, but as long as it seems like she wants to be with me I'm just going to be with her.

I got to Ms. Burtonni's office and knocked as I entered saying, "Hey Ms. B," Dana's not here, "sorry I was looking for Dana I guess I missed her." Whoa, she looks…concerned? Sad, maybe?

I decided to leave her in her strange expression, but before I exited she said, "Wait Logan. I need to talk to you," she's looking worse; nervous, depressed. "You may want to sit down," oh no. That's like the universal sign for "I have really bad news." Not Dana, please not Dana.

"I'm in a hurry can you just tell me whatever quick," I said defensively still standing.

"I'm so sorry Logan," she began, looking sympathetic and sorry, as I sunk into the chair knowing that those few words were an ominous sign. She continued, "She said she had to see him."

Oh God, "No," I breathed. Damn it! She's doubting her feelings, but I know she loves me. I feel it in her, I know I do. And now she's going to go see Sam. That sly bastard can only make her doubt us more. "Damn it!" I screamed out loud this time.

Ms. Burtonni glanced at her clock and said suddenly looking hopeful, "She may still be here waiting for a ride to the airport. Hurry, catch her, tell her you love her. I'll cover for you missing class."

I ran out the door heading to the front of the school as fast as my feet would carry me.

I didn't slow down as I saw her still there in the distance, no cab in sight.

She heard my pounding feet approaching and turned my direction. She seemed surprised to see me.

As I came to a stop right in front of her I didn't give her the chance to speak as I pleaded, "Don't go."

"What?" she questioned, "How did you…You were in your room skipping class and you got the note?" she said trying to comprehend how I knew.

Wait, what note? "No Ms. Burtonni told me, I was there looking for you. What note?"

The cab pulled up to the curb next to us.

"I have to go," she said determinedly. She avoided my eyes as she added quietly, "I'm not sure. I'm sorry." Everybody is sorry today. Well, I don't care if they're sorry I'm not giving up that easy.

As she stepped away from me I grabbed her hand causing her to stop and look at me. I begged again, "Don't go." She didn't say anything, her eyes still locked with mine, so I continued, "I know I should have told you not to go four years ago when you left for Paris, but I didn't know then how much I need you. I'm saying it now because I need you here, with me; don't go."

"Don't do this Logan," she pleaded shaking her head slightly with tears forming in her eyes. "Please don't do this," she begged again shutting her eyes causing tears to fall.

Now I'm the one that's sorry because I have to do this, even though she seems to want me to stop so much.

I cupped her face in my hands, brushing away her tears with my thumbs as I said everything I've ever wanted to tell her, "I need you to stay with me, don't go because….I'm in love with you. I love you and I need you and I don't want to spend any more time without you, I don't want to miss you anymore. And this isn't just because of last night or the last week, I have always been in love with you. I didn't know it at first otherwise I wouldn't have let you just walk out of my life for over a year. I don't know when it happened or how it happened, but I know I love you. You file your nails in this way and at odd times that's incredibly annoying, and you hum songs without noticing, and you're really messy and unorganized, and you've got to be the most stubborn person ever, but I love you. I wouldn't change anything about you. You're gorgeous, smart, bold, fun and you just make everything in my life better. Even when I thought you could never love me back, just your presence still managed to make my life better. And I never expected for you to love me back, but you feel it, I can feel it when you kiss me, there's something, there's this," I said and kissed her. I kissed her like I love her because I do. I captured her lips in mine tenderly. I took the time to kiss her properly, slowly, my objective being to leave her breathless and completely sure of us. Caressing her tongue sensually as I let my hand slide to the small of her back pulling her to me more. Once I thought I had proved my point (and because I needed more oxygen) I broke the kiss, opened my eyes, and looked at her. Her eyes were still closed, tears still slowly rolling down her cheeks, and she looked kind of dazed.

That was when I realized it. She kissed me back still. She may not be sure of us, but because of that kiss and every kiss before it, I am. I know she loves me. I can feel it in her when I kiss her. I can feel it in her touch. I can see it in her eyes. She loves me and I have nothing to worry about if she goes. Seeing Sam could only prove to her that she loves me. She'll see him and think of me and come back to me. And if she's not sure then maybe she should see him. I don't want her to doubt us, so yeah, if she needs to go then maybe I shouldn't stop her. She loves me so she'll come back, nothing bad can come of this.

She had opened her eyes now. She stared up at me, her sorrow filled eyes connecting with mine as her bottom lip began to quiver. I know what she's struggling to try and tell me, she has to leave, if she's not going to have doubts she has to leave. I know she's trying to actually tell me she has to go, but I already know, it's in her eyes; the determination, the regret, the doubt, the confusion.

I have to let her go. I wiped away her still falling tears and did what was best for her in saying, "I don't want to see you go. I don't want you to be away from me, but I love you and I want you to be happy. And if you're not sure that you'll be happier with me, that you love me, then you should go. Its okay, I understand, you have to be sure. I'll be here waiting for you to come back."

She smiled slightly and threw her arms tightly around my neck as she hugged me. "Thank you," she breathed as I held her tight rubbing her back soothingly. She buried he face in the crook of my neck for the briefest of seconds before pulling away sniffling and wiping at her tears.

The cab driver had waited patiently, letting the meter run.

As she got in the back seat of the cab, a couple of brilliant ideas popped into my head.

I rushed over and stopped her door from closing. She looked at me questioningly and I explained, "Drop her off at terminal one of LAX airport," I said to the cab driver as I gave him enough money to cover the time he waited and for the rest of the ride. I explained to Dana, "There will be a guy waiting for you to take you to my family's plane. I'll set it all up." She started to open her mouth, to protest I'm guessing since she rarely lets people do things like this for her. I cut her off, "No, you are not spending your savings just so you don't get flights when you want. This is last minute and you might be spending the whole weekend in airports waiting for flight. Take my plane and you decide where it goes and when. If you get up in the air and ten minutes later you decide you want to come back to me then you can, just tell them to turn around."

"Logan you don't have to do this," she said reasonably.

"I know but I want you back here as quick as possible so my motives are completely selfish, I promise," I said lightly and kissed her cheek.

She smiled at me half heartedly. Her eyes were all red, puffy, and the confusion was still there.

I stepped away from the cab and let her go. I let her leave, because she might be confused, but I know she loves me. She's gone, but she'll come back to me. Everything is going to be great. Nothing can go wrong now, I know what's in her heart and it's me. She's going to come back to me, she has to.

She's confused, it's not the end of the world…but, oh God what if I'm wrong? What if she doesn't love me? Maybe I've just been…I don't know…projecting that onto her because I want her to love me. What if she doesn't love me and I just let her leave? What if she doesn't come back to me?

I let her go. If she doesn't come back to me then I think I just made a decision that could cause my life to shatter to pieces. She's my entire world and if she doesn't come back then everything is going to fall apart.

In letting her go, did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?

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**A/N:** So, again, thank you to all the people who reviewed last chapter, but sadly the review count went down severely. I know the direction that the last chapter went may have not been popular so I understand the drop, but I do hope that everyone keeps reading because I can promise you'll be sorry if you don't. Next chapter is definitely going to end with an impact so please **REVIEW**, let me know you're still interested, and hopefully I'll be updating in about the same amount of time.

Oh, and there might be 19 chapters instead of 18; I'm debating some decisions and I'll keep you posted.

**Thanks for reading!**


	16. Damn Destiny

**A/N: THANK YOU TO ALL THE FANTASTIC REVIEWERS!** I'm sorry if I missed anyone in my personal replies, but sometimes I lose track of who I've responded to, so to those of you I missed thank you and I'm sorry. Also to the anonymous reviewers, you guys (and I think there is actually a guy among them) are awesome and I wish I could respond privately to you as well, but since I can't, a big thank you to all of you as well.

Oh, and if you were confused as to who Dana will choose by the end of her last chapter, well, that's what I was going for. Don't worry though; you'll be sure of whom she wants very soon.

As you read this chapter, please keep in mind that the story has three more chapters. It is not over. And remember destiny is a tricky mistress.

**Enjoy!

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I cried for the entire forty minute ride to the airport. I wasn't bawling with violent shudders like I was in Ms. Burtonni's office. They were quiet sobs full of pain that continued for the lengthy silent ride to the airport.

As we neared the stop and go traffic that lead to the airport I started to try and gather myself.

The silent cab driver finally spoke as he looked back at me in the rear view mirror, "He seemed like a really great guy."

"I know," I honestly replied in a small voice. I know Logan is great, he's perfect. Well, he's not perfect, no one's perfect, but somehow him not perfect is perfect. Did that even make sense? I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore. Everything is so messed up.

The cab driver pulled up to the curb of Terminal one just like Logan had instructed him to do. I thanked him as I got out and looked around for anyone who looked like they could be working for Logan.

Suddenly there was a man of about thirty standing in front of me in a flight attendant uniform. He said to me, "Are you Dana?"

"Yes," I immediately replied giving him a somewhat questioning look because how did he know it was me?

He looked me up and down and said, "Well you are exactly how he described you honey. You're such a hot little number! If it wasn't illegal and if I liked women I'd be tempted to lose my job to go after you myself." That's flattering, I guess. "Do you have a brother with legs like yours?" That's probably one of the oddest questions anyone has ever asked me.

"No, sorry," I replied a little distractedly. I really just want to get going before my head explodes from all the back and forth it's been doing.

"Oh well," he said disappointedly. He put his arm out for me to take and I hesitantly took it as he said, "Shall we?"

As he led me into the airport he remembered, "Oh yeah, I'm Gavin by the way and the plane's pilot is Captain Jack. Well his real name isn't Jack, but we call him that because he really likes his Jack Daniels." Okay I don't feel so good about doing this now, not if the pilot likes to drink. "Don't worry he doesn't drink when or around when he's flyingI would not get on the plane if he did," he said reassuringly probably because he noticed my moment of apprehension. "I wish we called him Captain Jack because he looked like Johnny Depp, even scruffy Johnny in_ Pirates_ _of the Caribbean_, but unfortunately if I had to pick someone he looked like it would be Bill O'reilly. Eek! I know!" He continued to ramble the entire long walk to the plane and I nodded and agreed good naturedly, but I was completely distracted.

At least I was distracted until we were just outside Logan's family's small plane about to climb the steps in and he said, "Oh, yes, there's one thing I should let you know. My self and Captain Jack have been instructed by Logan to call you not as I did earlier by Dana, but as Mrs. Reese." Huh? "He said that we should get used to calling you Mrs. Reese because if there was ever going to be another Mrs. Reese besides his mother, you're it." Oh God. I thought now that…he's not even near me or anything, how can he still do this to me?

Breath, just remember to breath. I gathered my strength and said, "Could you please just call me Dana?" I don't think I can deal with anything else right now.

He sighed and replied, "Mr. and Mrs. Reese and Logan are our bosses and until you become Mrs. Reese for real, we're going to have to obey their orders over yours. But I've heard a lot about you over the years and I do know why we're flying you to Connecticut today, so how about I just try not to refer to you by any name at all."

"Thank you," I said sincerely. He gave me a small nod and I followed him onto the plane which was amazing. Lavish, spacious, and kind of homey.

Gavin instructed me to sit in one of the overstuffed, incredibly comfortable, leather seats and as I did so Captain Jack's voice came over the speaker, "Hello Mrs. Reese. I would come back there to meet you in person, but Logan instructed that we get going as fast as possible so we can have you back to him. It should be just a few minutes and we'll be up in the air and on our way. Or estimated time of arrival will be about three o'clock Eastern Standard Time."

As I fastened my seatbelt Gavin came back over to me, "Do you want anything? Food? Drink? You name it, we probably have it."

"No thank you I'm fine," I politely responded.

Gavin turned away and started to head for the front of the plane, but came back and said looking at me seriously, "Now, I was going to avoid this subject, but I just have to say, I've been working for this family for along time, I know Logan really well, and he meant it, all of it. You're the girl for him." He walked away not waiting for me to respond, just leaving me something to think about.

And I know Logan meant everything, always. I've never questioned whether or not he loves me. And I didn't need him to say it today. I didn't want him to say it today. It would have been so much easier to leave if he just didn't say it. But he said it and I knew before he said it that he meant it. I felt it in every one of his kisses. I could even feel it in that first brief kiss. He loves me.

But what if he's not the guy for me?

There's a big part of me that knows the answer to that question. Just like there's a big part of me that has an answer to the question of whom do I love? But I can't just trust that part of me now. It doesn't make sense now.

We're soaring above California now and it's taking all my strength not to scream, "Turn back!" But I'm not going to say it, just like I didn't say it in the cab, even though I wanted to. I want to go back. I didn't even want to leave. I just want to be with Logan and forget about everything else.

And even though all I want to do is go back and forget, I can't forget. I've been saying "I love you" to Sam for over a year. I accepted a ring for him that promises forever just days ago. He means something, with all that he has to. So, I can't turn back.

I didn't turn back. I got to an airport somewhere in Connecticut, I wasn't really paying attention when Captain Jack announced where we were landing. Logan had arranged a car for me, a car to take me to Sam. And just like the plane and Mrs. Reese and…everything that's Logan, I wanted to turn back again, but I couldn't. But, how can he love me so much when I'm putting him through this? How can he love me even when I'm running to someone else?

As I was dropped off at Yale I found I wasn't quite ready to run to someone else. I wandered campus a bit and finally sat down on a bench a few hundred yards away from Sam's dorm building. I just sat there watching it, not quite ready to go in.

It was three fifteen pm Eastern Standard Time when I sat down on the bench and four o'clock when I got off, made one quick stop, and headed for the car, for the airport, for home.

The entire time I was sitting on that bench I just kept thinking how I keep walking away from something all the while all I want to do is run back.

So, I got back on the plane and the first thing I did was call Sam. I got his machine, I left a message.

The flight back seemed incredibly long and half way threw it I finally lost my patience and decided to call Logan. I didn't want to say anything to him over the phone, I didn't want it to be over the phone, but I just had to call him even though I knew I'd get his voicemail since he should be in class (it's only two thirty pm Pacific Standard Time).

I almost dropped my phone as I took it back out because we hit some bad turbulence, but I managed to catch it and dial his number. His voice came over the phone, "You wanted me. You missed me. Leave a message at the…" BEEP.

Silence. I didn't even know what I was going to say. "Hi," I began lamely. Okay, talking, right, "Umm…I'm on my way back and…can you just meet me when I get back? I know you've…you've been perfect and I shouldn't be asking anything else of you, but I need to see you when I get back, as soon as I get back. Umm…I just...Whoa! Hey we seem to be going down pretty fast, maybe we're back let me check, hold on…"

I'm a little freaked out we suddenly just started a very fast descent.

"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Gavin came running out of the cockpit screaming like a little girl and strapping himself into a seat across from me.

"What?" I asked fearfully.

He turned to me. He looks terrified, sweating and panting, "Captain Jack says we're going down. Hold on and whether or not you believe in prayer now would be an excellent time to start praying."

Shocked beyond belief that I was in a plane hurtling towards the ground my phone slipped from my hands hitting one of the front side walls of the plane with force.

I can't believe it. I can't believe now that I am finally heading in the right direction, now that I'm finally heading to Logan, I'm still not going to get there, I'm still not going to be with him.

I'm in love with Logan. I want to be with Logan. And I'm in a plane that literally feels like it is falling from the sky. Damn destiny.

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**A/N: DO NOT BE MAD AT ME! THIS IS NOT OVER! **I swear this has a point, a very important point. It was not for random dramatic effect. And let me remind you, did I say she dies? Because until I say the actual words she is still here. There are three more chapters so be patient. Next chapter will be Logan's and it will be his day without Dana and him getting the message. No, you will not find out what happens to her or him after this moment until chapter 18, which is basically the last chapter followed by an epilogue.

Oh and all the time changes make sense (in my head at least) and I know that flights from one U.S. coast to the other usually take between three to four hours, but for the purpose of the story Dana's flights were only estimated to take three.

I don't know when I'll be able to update again. This Friday the 7th I'm getting my wisdom teeth out and I'm not going to be working or doing any normal activities like hanging out with friends for a little while, while I recover. I'm hoping that that means I'll have time to write, but I have no idea how I'll feel. I'm optimistic that it won't be that bad because I have a high pain threshold, but it would also be just my luck if something went wrong and it turned out to be absolutely awful. Hopefully all will go well and in my recovery time off I'll get a lot of writing done. Besides this I have like four other stories stuck in my head so, I really want to write, but I can't make any promises that I'll actually get to. And this story is my first writing priority, just so you know. When I do get time it comes first.

**Thanks again for reading! PLEASE REVIEW! **

Oh, and I'll be on aim as Hopelessly 86 for a while tonight (PST) if anyone's bored and wants to talk, just let me know you're from here.


	17. My Mantra

**A/N: I am so incredibly sorry it took me so long to update**. The operation for my wisdom teeth didn't go so well and neither has my recovery. I'm getting better, slowly, but I will be fine.

**Thank you so much for all the fantastic reviews! **If you submitted one on Friday the 7th or after I apologize for not replying as I normally would. I really do appreciate everyone's comments and I'm sorry for not personally thanking some of you. Now that I'm finally feeling a bit better I decided to put time into updating instead of finally responding because I figured you guys might like that better or at least I hope so.

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After I let her go, I went to my second class of the day. I was kind of in a trance for those first few classes. I kept telling myself I did the right thing, I had to let her go, she needed to go Despite the mantra of "I made the right decision" playing in my head the thought of "what if she doesn't come back?" still managed to taunt me.

I come out of my mantra/anti-mantra daze in between every class to check my phone for voice mail or missed calls.

When my forth class of the day was over it was time for lunch. I checked my phone again, no messages, no calls. She must be getting there about now. I guess she didn't decide to tell my pilot to turn around mid trip; she's actually going through with seeing him. I know that that's what I told her to do and what I know she needs to do, but I guess I also hoped that she wouldn't need to. In the end I'll be happy if she realizes she loves me now matter how it happens, but I wish she didn't need to see him to know she loves me. But then maybe she needs to see him because she doesn't love me. No. I have got to stop thinking about this. She's gone and I can't change anything now. I made the right decision.

It's a little chilly out. The air is misty and the sky is a cool grey. I hope there isn't a storm in the area, who knows what that could do to flying conditions.

I didn't want to be interrogated by the gang about Dana, or me, or anything so I decided to skip lunch with them and hide out in my room.

My room turned out not to be empty, but not in the way I kind of expected. I knew that Chase and Zoey might potentially be making out in there, but then I would leave unnoticed and hide somewhere else. They were the two that were there but they weren't making out, they were just sitting on the couch without the TV on or anything, it was weird. Since they weren't in a make out frenzy though, upon entering the room, I was instantly caught.

"Hi," I said like everything was normal and hoping they wouldn't ask any questions because I don't really have any answers right now.

"Hey," they said in unison and not too enthusiastically, actually they look kind of depressed.

Zoey got up and came over to me as I was heading to my desk. "Logan this note was left for you under the door," she said holding the small paper out to me.

It must be the note Dana was talking about. I forgot that it would be here waiting for me, reminding me. I took the note from Zoey and opened it. I didn't really want to open it, to hear her voice saying it again, for her uncertainty to be so clear, but I opened it anyway.

_I'm not sure. I'm sorry. _

And that was it. She didn't have my name on it or hers, just the plain truth that she doesn't know what's going to happen, and really, neither do I.

Wait. Neither of our names are on this how did Chase and Zoey even know it was for me? Have they talked to Dana? Do they know something I don't?

"How did you know the note was for me?" I asked in the least accusatory tone I could manage.

"Well," Zoey began s she started making her way back to the couch next to Chase, "No one's seen you since last night and we knew you went to see her and then this morning she was gone. I guess, with everything lately, it just made sense."

So they don't know anything. I keep deluding myself into thinking that everything's going to be okay, but every hope always seems to be dashed. She actually might not come back to me. And I was stupidly so sure that she would when I let her go.

I sank down into a chair across from the happy couple.

Zoey was hesitant, but she managed to say, "So she's…um…she's with…"

"Yeah, she went to see him," I finished for her.

"Sorry man," Chase said sympathetically.

"I let her go," I said out loud, but not really intending to. I just can't believe I let her go. Why was I so sure she'd come back?

"She'll come back," Zoey declared confidently.

"Really?" I questioned because I'm becoming less and less sure by the second.

"Absolutely," Chase confirmed.

"You let her go because you love her?" Zoey asked and I nodded. "She'll come back because she loves you," which is what I hope, but I don't know anymore. What if all the love I thought was there wasn't?

I decided to ask the hard question, "How do you know she loves me?"

Silence. They have no answers. Of course they don't, neither do I. I thought I feel it when she kisses me, but maybe not because what other proof is there?

"I don't know," Zoey finally said, "but, I guess, I just don't know how to…describe it. Something about her comes alive when she's with you…or when we're talking about you…and she loves you…I just know she does."

"I hope so," I don't know what I'm going to do if she doesn't come back to me. She's THE ONE for me; I know it, so how am I supposed to live my life without her?

Okay, I've got tot stop thinking about all of this before I drive myself insane. I made the right decision. Luckily it's time for class again which should offer a nice distraction.

I waited outside our room to give Chase and Zoey a moment for a private goodbye before me and Zoey headed to English class. Or is it Zoey and I? I should really start paying attention more.

Zoey, thankfully didn't ask any more about me and Dana, she just let us walk in silence, in thoughts.

She loves me. She loves me. I just have to remember she loves me. I was positive of that when I let her go. She'll come back to me, she has to. I made the right decision.

I was sitting at my desk, trying to convince myself that she's coming back when the bell rang and Mr. Jensen disturbed me from my thoughts.

"Today, we continue our review of Shakespeare," cue groans fro the class and he continued, "So, _Romeo and Juliet_. Someone pick a line and form an argument. Remember you need support for your claims so don't just throw anything out there."

Zoey had her hand in the air while the other flipped through her book and everyone else just kind of sat there like he didn't just ask us to do something.

"Yes Ms. Brooks?" Mr. Jensen said expectantly.

"_For never was a story of more woe than this or Juliet and her Romeo_," Zoey read from her book.

"Ah, the last two lines; and your argument is?" Mr. Jensen prompted.

"It's not a sad story," Zoey said seriously, but man, I must be out of it because she couldn't of actually said that about _Romeo and Juliet._

Mr. Jensen chuckled and said, "That's a bold argument since this is and has always been considered one of Shakespeare's tragedies. So, are you arguing that it fits into his comedies or history category?"

"No," she said simply.

"Then please tell us what it is Miss Brooks," Mr. Jensen said with a bit of eagerness.

"It's a love story with a relatively happy ending," which spurred murmurs form the class so Zoey continued louder, "Yes, it would have been happier if they got to live, but in life they couldn't be together, in death they were forever." Nothing, no one, especially Mr. Jensen was convinced. Zoey continued, "'_Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while_,' as said by Westley in William Goldman's _The Princess Bride_. Only Romeo and Juliet didn't have to wait. They're families would have separated them; they would have lived miserable lives away from each other. Maybe I'm being a hopeless romantic or naïve or too religious, but I don't believe true love ends because of death. In life they couldn't be together, their love would have been crushed, but in death it lives on forever. It wasn't the happiest ending, but it was a happy ending because they were together forever."

Mr. Jensen's mouth curled into a small smile, "Well Miss Brooks, you just made an argument that was decently structured, passionate, had very nice use of an outside source, had a very bold thesis, and was reasonably convincing. If you work at it a bit more I think you could have a pretty good topic for your mid term. More support, more elaboration, less generalities and I think you'll do very well." He scanned the room, the un-raised hands, and asked, "Okay, whose next?"

I stopped paying attention after that. I let her go and now I have this bad feeling like I'm going to know how it feels to live without true love. I made the right decision. I know she's the true love of my life, but what if she doesn't choose me? What if she doesn't realize I'm the true love of her life? And she went to Sam and she's still with Sam and I think that there's an increasingly good chance that I'm going to know what it feels like to spend my life without the true love of my life. To live apart from her, to ache for her, to miss her always, to want her always, to see her only in my dreams, only in my memory. I feel like I'm losing her, in this life at least, for if Zoey is right I'll at least be able to be with her later, if true love is reunited after death. If she doesn't come back to me I guess I'll just have to wait until then.

I made the right decision.

I went to my next class and sat through it in a trance trying to convince myself that just because she's spending some time with him doesn't mean she won't come back. I made the right decision, the right decision for her. She needed to go and I need her to be sure about us, but now I really need her to come back. I don't think I can wait any longer or I'm going to completely lose my mind.

Zoey and Chase met me right outside my class. They're concerned, but thankfully silently so.

As soon as I got outside (where I have a signal, which I didn't have in the classroom or hall) I checked my phone. YES! Two voice mails.

I listened to the first one.

"Hi," said Dana's voice. YES! "Umm…I'm on my way back and…can you just meet me when I get back? I know you've…you've been perfect and I shouldn't be asking anything else of you, but I need to see you when I get back, as soon as I get back. Umm…I just...Whoa! Hey we seem to be going down pretty fast, maybe we're back let me check, hold on…" HELL YES! She wants to see me hopefully that's a good thing, it sounds like a good thing.

"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," What the hell? That sounded like Gavin.

"What?" I heard Dana's voice say.

"Captain Jack says we're going down. Hold on and whether or not you believe in prayer now would be an excellent time to start praying," replied Gavin. What? This has to be some sick joke this can't be serious. But then the line went dead, the message ended.

I dropped my phone as I realized Dana's on a plane that's going down. I made the right decision, but I really wish I didn't. Now Dana's on a plane that's going down or went down and…she's not with me…she's not going to be with me…and the world…my world just…fell apart.

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**A/N:** So was I foreshadowing in this chapter or was I fake foreshadowing? You'll find out in the next chapter which is the last chapter and following it comes the epilogue. I'm unsure of the length of each at this point. I hope to update in a shorter amount of time than this one took me, but I want to try something that might get rather complicated to accomplish and therefore might take a bit to do, but I truly don't want to leave anyone hanging much longer.

I don't normally respond to anonymous reviews, but one of the anonymous reviewers brought up a good point. Ashley asked if Dana was just going to get over Sam just like that? Well, if she did what does that tell you? It's important and it can be determined by piecing together all of the clues. I've actually been hinting at it since the very very beginning.

Due to the after effects of my surgery (a huge yellow bruise and swelling still in my face) I'm still stuck at home and I have been for a while now. I'm getting pretty bored and I'll probably be on AIM (as Hopelessly 86) for a while this weekend if anyone else is also bored and wants to talk I'm up for any conversation. Also, just a reminder, I'm still offering story help, whether it be with just editing or actual ideas, for the time being.

Thank you for reading and reviews really motivate me so **PLEASE REVIEW!**


	18. She Loves, He Loves

**THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! **Unfortunately, the review count actually dropped by fifty percent. Anyone know why that could possibly be? Was Dana's potential death a reason to stop reading? As you'll see as soon as you continue those people who assumed things at the end of chapter 16, are going to be very sorry.

**This chapter switches point of views because I thought it was necessary to end with both of them.

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**Dana's POV**

Before the cab even came to a stop I rushed out of it and right into Logan's arms, which I'm absolutely never ever leaving again.

Something went severely wrong with the plane's engine while we were in the air and thanks to some quick thinking and skilled flying Captain Jack managed to make an emergency landing at some tiny airport in Kansas. I had never been so scared in my entire life and it just made me want to get back here even faster. I had to get back to Logan because living after nearly dying won't mean anything if I'm not going to be living with him, with us together.

**Logan's POV **

Dana rushed right out of the cab and into my arms and I absolutely don't ever want to let her go again. I hope that this means something good though, because I still don't actually know anything.

When I dropped my phone after hearing that message Dana left, after hearing her plane was going down, I stopped walking and was about ready to have a heart attack, but since Zoey and Chase were following me they immediately knew something was wrong. Zoey picked up my phone and caught the end of the second message, which turned out to be from Dana also. The plane experienced an engine seizure, stuff just stopped working mid air and they had to make an emergency landing somewhere in Kansas. The engine had extensive damage to it, but Dana wanted to get back (again hopefully that is a good sign) and Captain Jack and Gavin knew how much I wanted her back so they didn't wait to fix the engine, they chartered another plane and got her back to me as fast as possible.

She's still not letting go and I never want to. I think I'll take a chance and say something, "I'm absolutely never letting you go again."

"You better not," she said holding on to me even tighter if it was possible. Did she actually just say that? Can I keep her forever?

**Dana's POV**

I don't want to leave his arms, but I have to tell him this face to face, it's just too important to say into his shoulder. And he deserves answers now, we've already missed out on so much time, so I forced myself to let go. I didn't want to be away from him really though, so I just took about a half of a step back and took his hands in mine.

I took a deep breath and told him the truth, "I got all the way there, outside his dorm building, and I didn't want to go in. I couldn't go in, so I sat on a bench and just thought. I realized I keep walking away from you. It's not just now either, or lately, I've been walking away from you since we met. I stomped on your foot when I could have just kissed you and given in to it. I went to Paris, thinking I could escape it, and I missed you. And when Sam asked me out that first time in sophomore year I said yes to escape it. And I stayed with Sam hoping that if I did then eventually I would escape it. But I've never ever really wanted to escape it, to escape us. Every time I walk away from you all I want to do is run back. And I'm sorry, but that has scared the hell out of me since we met. I knew five years ago that I wanted you in my life forever that I needed you forever, and I didn't want to. And I thought if we were never together, if I always forced myself to walk away when I didn't want to then when our lives went separate ways I wouldn't need you and I wouldn't want you. I thought all of it would just fade away, but now I really don't want it to. I don't want to run from us anymore. I love you and I want to be with you and I need to be with you," I finished with tears spilling down my cheeks. Look at what he's done to me; he's turned me into one of those sappy people that cries when they're happy. It doesn't matter though, as long as he'll still have me.

**Logan's POV**

WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YES! HELL YES!

I let go of her hands and cupped her face with my now free hands and kissed her. I can do that now, kiss her, because she wants me and loves me just like I want her and love her.

**Dana's POV**

He kissed me. He always kisses me like he loves me. I can't believe that that actually used to scare me. I can't believe I actually thought that I could live without him. I can't believe that I was actually going to try to.

He pulled away from the kiss, but not from being in my arms. He wrapped his arms around me and said, "I love you too."

"I know," and I know I'll never have to doubt that. He's the guy that has my heart and I know he's the guy that's going to handle it with care because he loves me and he wants us to last forever just as much as I do. He's not going to break my heart.

I never wanted to fall in love, not really. I didn't want to be so vulnerable to someone, for someone to be able to cause me so much pain. I didn't want to give my heart away because I didn't want it to get broken. I never gave my heart to Sam, not at all, he was just the guy that I used really to keep me away from the guy I knew could break my heart. But now I trust Logan and I believe in how much he loves me, I have since last night, and I know he could break my heart and I know he's not going to.

**Logan's POV**

So I'm absolutely ecstatic. This is going extremely well for me, but she hasn't said anything about Sam. I want to be with her, I want us to be together finally, nothing in the way, so I had to ask, "What about Sam?"

**Dana's POV**

I knew I was going to have to explain eventually. Time for more truth, "I went to return his ring and tell him I had fallen in love with some else a long time ago and I needed to be with you. I was going to tell him it was over between us. But he wasn't in his room and I had no idea where to look for him. As cruel as I thought it was to break up with him over the phone, I couldn't wait to get back here so I decided not to wait for him. I folded up a piece of paper and put the ring inside and slid it under his door. As I was walking out of the building though I passed by the lounge and actually saw something that made me feel a whole lot better. Sam was on a couch making out and groping some red head on top of him. I was so afraid I was going to be breaking his heart, I felt terrible about leading him on these last two years, I was actually relived he was cheating on me. So, I didn't feel bad about calling him from the plane and breaking up with him on his answering machine. I told him it's over because I'm in love with you and the ring was under his door. At least I was pretty sure it was his door. And then I said if he needed help getting over us, the red head seemed willing. And that was it. It's over with him because I want to be with you."

I never thought I would be so relieved to see my boyfriend cheating on me, but I felt so terrible for lying to him and cheating on him that it just made me feel so much better to know his heart wasn't in our relationship either. I kind of can't believe he was cheating on me though. He knows what I can do to a guy I want to hurt. I could have totally kicked his ass, but oh well, I'd rather be back here with Logan which is why I didn't waste any time teaching Sam a lesson. Although, I'm not really any better than him anyway; I did cheat too.

Logan's face changed a bit. He looks…regretful? Sorry, maybe?

He said, "Umm…I have to tell you something," okay I already don't like the sound of this. I nodded and he continued, "I love you and I can't stand to see you hurt and remember everything turned out great, we're together and I love you." Oh no, oh no, this is going to be bad. Damn it! Everything was perfect. For once everything was perfect. "I knew Sam was cheating on you. I caught him last week. He did come back here for the weekend; he just didn't come to you. I'm sorry. I know I should have told you, but then I talked to Ms. Burtonni and she said that this was my chance. She said if I wanted to see if you would ever want to be with me then this was my opportunity. Like you said, you love me and if you found out that he was cheating when you still at least wanted to love him you would have gotten hurt by that and I didn't want you to and this way you didn't. I took a chance that you love me too and I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I just wanted to be with you and I didn't want you to get hurt and…please say something."

He knew. He knew, but everything he said makes sense. And I should be mad because he lied to me, but I was on a plane that almost crashed and in the end everything turned out okay, we're finally together and I'm finally okay with that and I'm finally happy. I think this is a lie that I can let slide. He took a really risky chance, but everything turned out okay, so I can let it go…this time.

**Logan's POV**

I know with everything going so well telling her the truth seemed like an idiot move. She broke up with Sam because she really wants to be with me and she loves me, but I had to tell her. I can't lie to her forever and I've felt bad doing it for the last week, so I figured I should just tell her now and get it over with.

She still hasn't said anything. Not a problem though, time to think is a necessity. Maybe I should have worn a cup just in case this turns really ugly.

"It's okay," she finally said. It's okay? Really? She explained, "Everything turned out okay, so it's okay. And I would be angry and forgive you later, but I don't want to waste any time being mad that you lied. I just had a very near death experience and the fact that you lied with good intentions and everything turned out exactly how things should always be, doesn't matter. Right now I just want to be with you." Thank God.

Hearing about her plane going down nearly killed me, but it seemed to have a very positive effect on her reasoning. Still, if she ever has another plane going down or otherwise life threatening potentially resulting in death experience, I better be right there beside her because there is no way I'm living without her.

I pulled her into another tight embrace and whispered, "And I just want to be with you, but I'm still sorry. I promise I'll never lie to you again."

**Dana's POV**

That's a really sweet thing to say, but let's be realistic here, "Yes you will. There will be other times when you'll lie to protect me or not hurt me or just to humor me, but we'll figure out how to get through those when they come. You know we're both really stubborn and we'll have problems, but we'll work through them because we'll always want to, because I'll always want to be with you."

"I always want to be with you too," he replied.

**Logan's POV**

I do. I always want to be with Dana. I don't want to be without her ever. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and more. I want her for forever. I need her for forever. Maybe now is the right time to ask her the question that I could never in my life say to another girl.

As if she could read my mind Dana preempted, "And we will be together and, honestly despite the fact that I never thought I would want to change my name, I like the sound of Mrs. Reese. Mrs. Logan Reese sounds really good, but we're seventeen and let's not rush into something completely crazy. We'll be together forever; I want us to be together forever. I promise when the day comes I'll say yes, but let's wait until we at least have some kind of plan for the future, until it's a little less insane."

Okay, I can do that. She's right; we have forever to be together. I guess now would be kind of crazy. Besides I don't even have a ring or a plan and I'd really like to make it special since I'll only be proposing once.

"Okay let's get started on that plan thing. You've still got to decide on a college so I can follow you. Let's go see Ms. Burtonni, we need to thank her anyway," I said taking Dana's hand and intertwining our fingers as I led her back to the guidance counselor's office rather quickly since it's almost five, which is when she leaves.

"Thank her?" she questioned as she hurried with me.

I came to a stop and turned and locked eyes with her as I explained, "Yeah, if it wasn't for her we probably wouldn't be together. She's the one who encouraged me to take a chance and see if you love me too. And she helped me know what to do and what not to do a lot of the time during the entire process of trying to win your heart."

"You already had my heart," she said sweetly. "I just needed help realizing it and, actually, she helped me with that a lot. We should definitely thank her. Though, I was surprised that this is the first place you want to go. I thought for sure you would insist that we go back to my room, my empty room," she said playfully with a smile and raised eyebrow.

Oh yeah. Hmm…tempting, very tempting, but we both owe Ms. Burtonni a lot and I want to get started on planning our future together because I really like the sound of that. We're going to have a future together. Plus, the sooner we start planning out our future together the sooner I can get to work on a plan for proposing and making forever together official.

**Dana's POV**

"That is a tempting idea," he replied, "but we owe a lot to Ms. Burtonni and I wanted to get to the planning part of us together forever."

Yeah, I like the idea of starting to plan now too. It's like it makes it more official that it's forever if we actually plan something for us for the future. And we do owe a lot to Ms. Burtonni. We should probably do more than just thank her, maybe a gift or something too.

"Yeah," I agreed, "let's go," and we started quickly walking to her office again.

He stopped again and turned to me looking a little worried, "You will be mine forever right?"

He actually looks nervous again. I can't believe he's nervous. I love him of course I want us to be together forever. I think I've even said it. As cute as he is when he's nervous though, I quickly put him out of his worried misery replying, "Yes, I'm going to insist upon it." And I kissed him reassuringly. I kissed him like I love him because I do.

**Logan's POV**

She kissed me. She kissed me like she loves me and in our forever together I'm never again going to doubt whether or not that's true. She loves me and kissing her will always feel like this; it will always feel like love.

We stopped ourselves from carrying the kissing on any farther realizing that we had to hurry if we were actually going to catch Ms. Burtonni.

We raced to her office, to guidance counseling hand in hand, the way it's going to be forever, us together.

**Dana's POV**

We entered her office; we entered guidance counseling, as we enter our future, hand in hand, us together, forever.

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**A/N:** Yep, I was fake foreshadowing, I just wanted to keep everyone guessing, but really I never planned on killing anyone. So, as I said before the importance of the glass flowers would be included as they were, but people don't actually think this thing was a symbol of this for me, so it's only loose references. I simply used connecting phrases to tie the whole thing together. At least I hope that's how it turned out. All questions should be pretty much answered at this point, there are a few things to come though, but nothing major. If you do have any questions, please feel free to ask. I have reasons and answers for absolutely everything.

**The epilogue is still to come.** It will take place ten years later and it definitely makes the entire story feel more complete so be sure to read it. Also in the author's notes for the epilogue I'll be including some information about up coming stories you can expect from me. This story may be ending, but I'll still be writing quite a bit.

Oh, and an engine seizure is a real thing, I did my research.

Also, I've been really curious as to whether or not anyone has actually taken me up on my occasional musical suggestions for while you're reading. Especially concerning chapter 10 (KISS ME!) and the Dido song "Who Makes You Feel" for during the locker room scene because if you hit play as soon as Dana enters the locker room and read at a slightly slowed pace then everything hits right. Just as the song gets hotter so does the scene. But just reading the lyrics doesn't actually do anything; it's all in the way it's performed. Anyway, I was curious, so please let me know if you've tried anything out, I'd love to know what you thought.

**On a more serious note:** Like I said, the review count dropped severely. There are a lot of people who are reading this story and there are a lot of people who have it on alert or on their favorites who I've never heard from. I would greatly appreciate your reviews, at least once now or after the epilogue. It would be really fantastic if the review count could get beyond **300.** I know it might seem like I'm asking a lot, but based on the number of people reading, I'm not even asking for half of the people reading to review just once either this chapter or next. **Please review and let me know if you loved or hated or just liked it. I'd really like to hear what everyone thinks so please review. And thank you for reading! **


	19. Epilogue: The Best Is Yet To Come

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the great reviews! **The review count dropped again, but whether or not I should be, I'm not taking it personally because there seemed to be a great deal of problems with the site not long after I updated and I know there was some struggle with doing anything including reviewing.

Oh, and I recently realized that I deleted the blanket disclaimer I was using that was located on my profile. So…

Disclaimer: I do not own _Zoey 101_, the characters of Dana or Logan, the fictional place of PCA, or any of the lyrics used throughout the story, but I do own absolutely every other element of this story.

What do I recommend listening to while reading this? Yes, the obvious, "The Best Is Yet To Come," and personally I like Tony Bennett's version best, but it's a short song and this is long so I would also advise not listening to it until you're nearing the end of the story.

**This is longer than any past chapter and with it is a long note at the bottom.**

**Enjoy!

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Epilogue: The Best Is Yet To Come

"Okay so were starting day two of the Reese family documentary with Logan and Dana Reese," a middle aged woman narrated.

"You probably didn't think it would take this long did you? You probably can't even use any of that stuff from yesterday?" Dana questioned as she settled on the couch next to Logan, both of them positioned in front of the camera.

"It was long, but that stuff was great. The story of how you two got together was so captivating. I want to try and include all of it," the woman said with a sincere smile.

Logan looked confused and questioned, "I thought that this documentary was going to be about the success of the Reese family, our contributions to the industry, or our charitable donations or something?"

The woman stopped the camera as the casual conversation continued, not wanting to waste the film, and replied, "Actually the direction I wanted to take with this documentary was more a who the family members really are, what your lives are really like, and your story of how you two got together really helped show that. I plan on including as much of yesterday as possible, but we're going to have to try and get through the rest at a much quicker pace."

"Okay," Dana said acceptingly to the woman. She turned to Logan and added, "We're not inviting my parents to the screening of this then. Actually don't even mention its being done."

"We've been married for eight years, and they like me, do you really think that they'll care at this point?" Logan asked as he began to get frustrated.

Dana's jaw dropped open slightly before she retaliated, "Of course they'll care. There is absolutely no way my parents are finding out that you practically lived in my dorm most of senior year, and they are not finding out we lived together before we were married. They may like you now, mostly because of Georgie and Sophie, but they will not like you anymore if they find out we were together before we were married. I'm they're little girl and they're religious. We've been through this before, it's just like how were not telling them that that wasn't a real priest at our wedding, it was a minister, and how we're not going to enroll the kids in Bible study. These are things they can't and will never know, not if we expect to remain on good terms with them."

"God, your parents are so frustrating," Logan said as he rubbed his hands over his face in an effort to relieve his tension.

"Oh like yours are any better," Dana retorted with a bit of bitterness in her voice.

"For the last time, my mom does not hate you!" Logan cried exasperatedly.

"Not when you're around," Dana muttered under her breath, but still making sure he could hear.

"We are not going to get into this again. They're our parents, they're not here now, so let's not deal with them," Logan reasoned. Taking Dana's lack of a response as an agreement to end the continuous argument he instructed to the woman who was waiting patiently as they argued, "We should get back on track; on with the documentary."

"Okay," the woman agreed as she turned the camera back on. She began to recap to refresh their memories, "So, yesterday we left off with you two finally together and Dana you mentioned a moment ago that Logan pretty much lived with you for the rest of your senior year of high school. So, I gather everything between you two went well then?"

"Well yes and no," Dana began, "obviously we survived, but we did, and do still, fight a bit."

"Were the fights over anything major?" the woman questioned.

"Yeah," Logan but paused and thought for a minute before he asked Dana, "What was that one fight over, the one where we went to Ms. Burtonni for help?"

"How would I know what it was about? We were supposed to forget about it, remember?" Dana replied though she didn't think she should have had to.

"Oh yeah that's right," Logan said as began to recall the event, "we were fighting about something and we couldn't seem to come to any kind of resolve so we went to Ms. Burtonni. No, wait, it was just about the time that we were getting college acceptance and rejection letters, so we were already there with her weighing our options and we got into whatever it was again and she helped us out. Actually we still use her advice a lot."

"Yeah, it really has helped," Dana agreed as she picked up the story, "she told us to think of things like I did when I came back to Logan, after the plane almost went down. With almost dying, the fact that Logan lied to me, or omitted something really, didn't matter. At the time, it just mattered more that we were together than anything else mattered. She said we should think of everything like that. If we were on a plane that was going down, would whatever we were fighting about matter, would we still be angry about it? She said if it doesn't matter then, then it doesn't really matter. Then she said once we've decided something isn't actually that important then we should forget about it."

"And we have, I still can't remember what we were fighting about when we saw her," Logan added.

"Yeah I can't either," Dana agreed.

"So has this tact always worked for you then?" the woman inquired.

"Not always," Logan said shooting Dana a look.

"If I was on a plane going down I would still care about that," Dana retorted trying to keep her temper under control, but clearly starting to fail.

"Okay fine. I'll call Captain Jack, get the plane ready and tell him to take us down. Let's see if you really will care about it," Logan said while taking out his cell phone.

"That's fine with me. Go ahead, call him. You got me lingerie as a gift after I had our son. But not just any lingerie, lingerie that would have fit Shamu! Really nice gesture there, 'Hey thanks for carrying my kid for nine months and spending forty two hours in labor, lets get started on the next one fat ass,'" Dana said with both bitterness and sarcasm.

"For the last freaking time I was not calling you fat!" Logan screamed frustrated. "That stupid pregnancy book said get the mother of your kid a gift, show her you appreciate her and it also said make her feel sexy and desirable because most pregnant women don't, how was I supposed to know that it didn't mean at the same time?" he rebutted.

"Maybe because they were in different chapters of the book," Dana replied in demeaning tone.

"Which I obviously didn't pay any attention to just like I didn't pay any attention to the size of the thing, but it was just a very poorly chosen gift, and I've apologized for my idiocy, are you seriously still mad?" Logan pleaded.

"Well," Dana said sighing, "yes, but I'll get over it eventually. I know it was just a mistake, but I was hurt by it and…I'll get over it eventually, I promise."

"But Georgie's already six," Logan dared to say.

Dana glared at him, "Do you have a point with that? Because if you're trying to insinuate that I should be over it by now how about you ask me that last question again and then I can tell you how I _won't_ get over it."

"Nope, I wasn't insinuating anything," Logan recoiled, "I was just telling Mary here how we have two kids, and Georgie is the oldest and he's six."

Dana knew he was lying, but he had caved so she played, "And you were going to leave out our daughter?"

"Of course not," Logan said taking her hand in his knowing that everything was fine between them. Yes, they argued, but it was really more bantering than arguing. He continued directing his attention back to the camera, "We have a daughter Sophie, she's two and a half and she doesn't take after either one of us."

Dana joined in smiling, "Yeah she's so well tempered and cooperative. Georgie on the other hand, is exactly like us. He's stubborn and feisty and…he doesn't always get along with other kids," Dana added hesitantly.

"Yeah, Georgie's a bit of a hellion, but Sophie's a little angel so it all balances out," Logan agreed smiling sweetly at his wife as he played with their intertwined fingers.

Dana bit her lip as if to resist from saying something but the woman (Mary as Logan called her) had a question, "So, we've seemed to have skipped around a bit. Why don't we back track to your engagement, when was that?"

"Senior year," Dana answered.

"I'm a little confused," Mary admitted, "I thought you had said yesterday that when you got together you agreed that it was too soon and too insane at your age?"

"We did," Dana said smiling as she looked to Logan.

"I got impatient," Logan said with a shrug smirking at his wife.

"So how did you pop the question?" Mary asked Logan eagerly.

Dana snuggled into Logan more resting her legs across his lap which his free hand instantly began stroking soothingly while his other hand continued to play with her fingers as they still intertwined hers.

Logan was smiling with bright eyes as he detailed, "Well, around the end of senior year our entire class was going to go to Disneyland for a senior day. You know when the park is closed to the general public letting senior classes from all around California in for a day. I had it all planned out. I dragged her to get our picture taken in front of the castle and I really had to force her into it too."

"We just went on Splash Mountain, it wasn't the best time to have pictures taken," Dana defended.

"But they did turn out really good," Logan said with a smirk.

"Yeah, they did," Dana confirmed with an unstoppable smile.

Logan turned back to the camera and explained, "We got positioned in front of the castle for the pictures, but right as they were starting to take them I got down on one knee, took her hands in mine and said, 'How about we make forever official?'"

Dana eagerly jumped in on the story, "And I was absolutely stunned. I think I stopped breathing when I suddenly saw him go down on one knee. But as shocked as I was, I immediately responded with an incredibly girly shriek-ish, 'Yes!' throwing myself into his arms. Then I kissed him…"

"No, I kissed you," Logan interrupted.

Dana gave a slight roll of her eyes, but was still smiling as she continued, "We kissed and then he slid the ring on my finger, where it still remains. We have the entire thing in photographs."

"Yeah I paid them to keep snapping away so we would get the whole thing, every moment of it," Logan detailed.

"Oh I'll get you the pictures," Dana said getting up and running to another room, but she was back within seconds.

As Mary flipped through the pictures, making sure she captured them on film for the documentary, she saw that they were right; one could see absolutely everything that happened. Dana was in short denim shorts and a fitted tank and she was drenched from head to toe. Logan was in slightly baggy denim shorts and a t-shirt and he was just as soaked. In the pictures one could see Dana's eyes widen and jaw drop as Logan moved down to be on one knee. He looked nervous at first, but once she had clearly said yes his face lit up beyond what one would think was humanly possible, but she looked just as unbelievably happy. Love flowed from the photographs. It was so easy to see how much they belonged together.

Mary returned her attention to the task at hand of completing the documentary and questioned, "How was it not crazy to get engaged only a few months later?"

"It was still completely insane and I was still seventeen actually," Dana admitted but confessed, "but he could have asked me an hour after we agreed to wait and I still would have said yes. It may have been crazy, but it was right. Us together is right and I could never say anything but yes."

Logan held a hand out to Dana and led her to sit in his lap. He kissed her, gently caressing her face as he did so. She wrapped her arms around her neck as the kiss progressed.

Realizing that things were heating up and that they no longer seemed to be aware of her presence, Mary cleared her throat loudly multiple times trying to catch their attention. After a few tries they finally broke apart apologizing for getting caught up in each other.

Dana stayed sitting comfortably in Logan's lap as Mary continued with the documentary, "So when was the wedding?"

"Two years later," Dana responded.

"Yeah we waited two whole years," Logan drawled out.

"It was my idea to wait," Dana explained, "we told our parents, or more accurately our parents found out about the engagement at our high school graduation. They kind of snuck up on me while I was still wearing the ring and I didn't get a chance to hide it before they saw. Both of our parents were freaked out a bit so I came up with the two year concept; if we could last that long then we would get married because that's what we wanted and the fact that we were going to wait made them feel better. Both of our parents ended up agreeing that if we still wanted to get married in two years we would have their blessing. It was a good idea."

"But I didn't want to wait," Logan said playfully in a childish tone.

"Which is why we lived together before we were married, Logan didn't want to wait, I wanted our parents' blessing, so we had to wait, but Logan and I made a compromise," she detailed looking to Logan.

Logan picked up the story, "We were supposed to live in the dorms, separate dorms on campus our first year at UCSD, University of California San Diego, and I talked her into us finding a place to move into over the summer and for the two year wait."

"Yeah, but every time my parents came to visit we had to pretend I lived there alone because my parents would not approve. We hid everything of Logan's at our neighbors. Luckily we always had warning because my parents aren't into surprises. And living together was definitely better than not living together would have been. It was good practice for marriage too," Dana reasoned.

"Not really," Logan countered, "you made us split the cost of everything why we were living together. For a while there you were even juggling two jobs with school. I don't understand why you couldn't just let me pay for everything, you have since we've been married."

"I didn't let you pay for everything after we got married, I just let you pay for more," she argued.

"But…" Logan began.

"No, the past is the past, we are not discussing this anymore," Dana declared interrupting. Dana continued not giving Logan a chance to respond, "Anyway, we lived together for the two years and then we were married just after the end of our sophomore year of college. It turned out to be a really good idea to have it then too because it gave us a reason to see everyone from high school and it made sure we kept in touch with everyone since we had it so long after graduation. The wedding was beautiful, it was perfect."

"Perfect?" Logan questioned, "I thought the wedding was the supposed reason my mom hates you?"

"I swear she still hasn't gotten over that," Dana said as she slid out of Logan's lap to sit next to him. She explained, "Logan's mom wanted us to invite a bunch of her socialite, botox injected, vapid, frenemies to our wedding and I didn't want to and I didn't let her. I wanted our friends and family and that was it. It was our wedding and I didn't want a bunch of people there that I didn't know and wouldn't like. Ever since then she's always making comments about me, but never when Logan's around. When it's just me though she'll say something like, 'Dana honey you look fantastic! You almost can't tell you've had two kids, except for in profile of course.'"

"Okay, fine, even if she has said stuff like that, why do you care? You know it's not true," Logan took her hand in his and used his other to turn her face to him to make sure she was looking at him. He said sincerely, "You look absolutely exactly the same as when we got married. How many times am I going to have to tell you you're beautiful before you start believing it?"

Dana smiled sweetly biting her lower lip and played, "One more time."

"You're beautiful," he said honestly as per her request. He kissed her smiling lips lightly in a reassuring loving manner. He put his arm around her and she leaned against his chest playing with his hand that came to dangle by her shoulder.

Taking the silence as a cue to get back on track Mary questioned, "So when you two got together you mentioned a lot of music yesterday, what was your first dance together at your wedding?"

"'The Best Is Yet To Come,' performed by Tony Bennett," Logan answered.

"None of the music from when we got together seemed appropriate for the wedding, and this one seemed to express exactly what we still believe, the best is yet to come," Dana explained.

Mary moved on to her next question, "You mentioned that your wedding was an opportunity for you to see all of your high school friends and since you mentioned them yesterday, out of curiosity, what happened to Chase and Zoey?"

"They're married," Dana stated.

"Finally," Logan added.

"Yes, finally," Dana agreed and explained, "Zoey actually had to propose because Chase hadn't, that was five years ago. Then they were planning a big wedding, but suddenly took off and eloped in Las Vegas. They said they just couldn't wait anymore. Now they have a three and a half year old daughter named Lily."

"Are you sure it's been five years? It doesn't seem that long ago" Logan questioned.

"I'm positive it was five years ago because I remember Zoey told me that she was tired of waiting for Chase and she was just going to ask him and she told me at Georgie's first birthday party," Dana confirmed.

"Right," Logan agreed, "and I had told Chase like six months before that at Georgie's baptism that he should just ask her. And I tried to guilt him into it saying that since we were making them god parents we were counting on him asking her. Then I gave him that same speech at the birthday party."

Taking control of the direction again, Mary asked, "You said Georgie is six so that means you got pregnant while you were still in college?"

"Yeah, the end junior year we found out about him. He was due and born in March, so I missed the winter and spring quarters of my senior year, but I went back the following year and got my degree while Logan looked after Georgie," Dana explained.

"But I was working and taking care of Georgie because I did finish school at the planned time and got my degree in film. It's really worked out to be a producer because I get to spend a lot of time here with the family. I spend half my time reading new scripts so it allows me to be home a lot and not miss out on the kids growing up," Logan explained.

"And Dana what do you do?" Mary asked.

"Well, right now I'm just taking care of Georgie and Sophie. I was a politics major and when Georgie was three I went to work part time as a public relations aid for the campaign of the current mayor of L.A. Since he won, I was supposed to keep working for him, but when we found out about Sophie I decided not to. I want to work, but I don't want to miss out on raising our kids either. Eventually I'll probably go back to work, but not until all the kids are in school," Dana said almost like she was avoiding saying something.

Logan turned to Dana and questioned, "What do you mean you _just_ take care of the kids? First that's a big job, especially since Georgie is more than a handful. Second, you're always helping me out." Logan turned to the camera and explained, "We've really turned producing into a family business, which is why I think our family is so successful. I know it was already a family business since my grandpa and my dad and now I'm doing it, but we've taken it further. Dana helps me figure out what stuff is going to be popular with women and Georgie helps us figure out what's going to be a hit with kids. We read him scripts I get like they're bed time stories. And because everyone's involved we've already produced more hits in the last four years than we had in the previous ten."

"Which is one of the reasons I wanted to do this documentary; your family has always been very successful in Hollywood, but lately, since you've joined the business it's been more successful than ever," Mary admitted.

"Since _we've_ joined the business," Logan corrected.

"Of course," Mary complied. "Family is obviously very important to you, is that why your son is named Georgie?"

"Yes, we named him George after my grandfather, but we always call him Georgie because George seems too mature for a six year old," Logan replied.

"And Sophie is actually Sophia after our high school guidance counselor Ms. Sophia Burtonni. She helped us out so much and without her we might not even be together so we wanted to do something to show our eternal gratitude," Dana explained.

"She's not a Ms. or a Burtonni anymore though," Logan informed.

"No, she's still at PCA so we've managed to keep in touch and now she's Mrs. Tretrovich?" Dana struggled.

"I thought it was something like Tratronvich? Tritrovich?" Logan tried to figure out.

"I have no idea," Dana admitted, "no matter how many times I see it or she says it, neither one of us can get it right."

"So what's your next project?" Mary inquired.

Dana bit her lower lip, but Logan responded, "We're not too sure right now. We keep reading over stuff, but we're still searching for our next big box office hit."

"How about your story?" Mary suggested.

"Our story?" Dana questioned.

"Yes, the story you told me yesterday, the story of how you became a couple, it was very interesting," Mary clarified.

Dana and Logan busted out in laughter for a few minutes before they realized Mary was serious.

Struggling to calm down Logan replied, "I don't think so. We can't do that. First who would want to see it?"

"And secondly it's our story, it'd be a little weird to…turn it into a movie or something," Dana completed with a shudder at the thought.

"Well in case you ever change your minds, just to let you know, I think a lot of people would definitely be interested in your story," Mary said glancing at her watch and continued, "but we're going to have to wrap this up, I've got deadlines to make."

"Okay, so you want us to do the toast the family thing now?" Logan asked.

"Yes if you would please," Mary politely responded.

Logan got up got three Champaign flutes and the Champaign, he opened it and poured them each a glass and sat back down next to his wife.

He raised his glass and they did the same. He toasted, "To the Reese family, may we always be healthy and wealthy."

With a gentle clang of their glasses they all took a sip, but Dana simply brought the bubbly liquid near her lips pretending to drink and hoping it would go unnoticed, but Logan noticed.

As soon as Logan swallowed down his own sip he questioned, "Why didn't you drink? We were toasting the family. Did you not like my toast?"

"That's not why I didn't drink, but no, actually I didn't like your toast. Why couldn't you just do our usual toast?" Dana said trying to turn the direction of the conversation around.

"It was a spur of the moment decision," Logan answered, but he wasn't going to let her talk her way out of answering, "but you still haven't said why you didn't drink. It's after noon and it's just a sip, its okay."

Dana was gnawing on her bottom lip, but she finally sighed and conceded, "I didn't drink for the same reason I haven't drank in the past."

"What?" Logan asked completely confused. His brows furrowed as he offered, "You were afraid of saying the wrong name?"

"Oh yeah that's it," Dana said sarcastically. She shook her head and said, "I didn't want it to be like this, but…not then, but the other _two_ times I _couldn't _drink."

Logan's brows stayed knitted together for a minute until realization dawned. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped as he gasped out, "You're pregnant!"

"Surprise," Dana said smiling nervously.

Logan smiled wide relieving Dana's unease. Screaming "Woohooo" at the top of his lungs he was jumping up and down on the couch like an excited little kid.

Though she was beaming as well Dana chided, "Logan stop pulling a Tom Cruise and get off the sofa."

"Nope, you're joining me," he said as he took her hands and pulled her up to wrap her in his arms. He kissed her passionately as her feet dangled not quite hitting the sofa cushions since he was taller than her.

He didn't let her go when they pulled away, resting their foreheads together.

"You're really happy?" she asked though she saw his response to the news, she needed to hear the words. The baby was a surprise so it made her nervous.

"Another kid, another little me and you, of course I'm happy," Logan replied sweetly.

"Three isn't too many?" she continued to question.

Logan thought for a second before responding, "One more than how ever many kids we have, that's too many."

Dana closed the distance between their lips again kissing him because he gave the exact answer she was hoping for.

Pulling away again Dana said, "We should finish this later and do the toast so Mary can get out of here finally."

Logan released Dana letting her feet finally hit the couch cushion so they could both sit back down.

As she settled back sitting next to her husband Dana requested, "Do our usual toast this time."

"Okay," Logan agreed taking her left hand in his right. They each raised their glasses with their free hands and Logan toasted, "Here's to guidance, here's to us," he said giving Dana a peck on the hand, "and here's to all the best that is yet to come" he concluded placing their joined hands on Dana's womb as they gently clanged theirglasses andhe sipped the Champaign and she once again pretended.

Mary switched off the camera and inquired, "Where did you get that toast from?"

"Well, we say, 'Here's to guidance,' because were basically together thanks to the guidance we got from our high school guidance counselor and the guidance of our friends, so we like to acknowledge that," Logan explained.

Dana picked up explaining the second part, "And, 'Here's to us,' we actually heard in _Sleepless in Seattle,_ but we like it. It always used to seem like there would never be an us so I always like hearing the term 'us' associating me and Logan, even after all these years."

Logan kissed her cheek affectionately and began rubbing their hands over her womb as he clarified the final part of the toast, "And we say, 'To all the best that is yet to come' because all the best is yet to come."

"And I'm sure that's true for you two," Mary said sincerely. She hesitated but questioned, "Are you sure about your decision not to include your kids in this? It's completely fine with me either way, I'll make the documentary work with or without them, but I just want to double check before I pack up all the equipment."

"As a producer we don't really deal with the media a lot, but since we have a choice here, we don't want the kids exposed to any of it. Plus they're not here right now, they're spending the day with my parents," Logan explained.

"Okay," Mary said acceptingly, "any final words for the camera then?"

"Yeah I have about three," Logan said smiling at Dana.

Mary turned the camera back on to allow Logan's final words.

Noticing the camera was back on Logan turned to his wife, stared into her eyes as their hands still remained tenderly resting on her womb and said, "I love you."

"I love you too," Dana instantly replied as they continued to stare deep into each others eyes letting themselves get lost in each other. After a minute passed Dana came out of their trance just enough to say with a coy smile playing on her lips, "I have a cramp in my calf."

Logan smiled; he knew the response to this. He let Dana swing her legs across his lap as his hands stoked her legs. "Well, I'll have to fix that for you," he said huskily leaning towards her as she did the same until their lips came together meeting in a kiss.

Noticing that the kiss was once again heating up Mary quickly packed up her equipment and slipped out of the Reese home not wanting to have to find a pen or water to throw at the happy couple just to say goodbye.

Eventually noticing that Mary had left and since the kids wouldn't be returning for a few more hours, Logan and Dana continued to celebrate all the best that was yet to come.

The End

* * *

**A/N:** Since Ihaven't been able toreply personally to the anonymous reviewers, I would like to show my appreciation by saying a great big thank you each one of you, so thank you to: Passionate Mist, hopefully, Ashley, pebbles-05, sarah, Savvy93, stuckinthemiddle, Molly, EEE, Taylor, zutara-rouks, Emily, CoolCat, crazieness, rf, Katiie, 3Melanie 3, Brandon Green, Ajo, Translucent, Unknown, and Ryan (who's last name was deleted (just in case you didn't know)). Thank you so much to each and every one of you! 

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed at any point during the story! I greatly appreciate each and every review! Everyone has been really great and you have no idea how grateful I've been for all of your supportive words. **

**On to my future projects:** I could seriously ramble for pages about this, but I'm going to try and keep it to a minimum. As a warning for those of you who have me on author alerts (Thanks for that by the way!) along with continuing to write for this category, I will also be venturing out to new categories. I will definitely be writing a _School of Rock_ fic featuring a Freddie/Katie paring. I may also be writing a _Life With Derek_, Dasey, fic if I ever find time. As far as this category, I'll have three upcoming stories. I have finally found inspiration for the C/Z one-shot sequel to my story _The Evolution of a Relationship _and though I'm still not positive of the title, I will definitely have it up in the coming weeks. I'm also working on a one-shot titled "I Spent One Night In Paris" which was inspired by something I saw on the show and that's all I'm going to say about it for now. Then I'm also taking on a massive project. I will be writing a season three story (featuring double the number of episodes of a traditional season). It will be a story form of episodes and changes will be made, if you ever read my old profile you have an idea of what I'm talking about and how long it would take me to explain. It is a seriously huge project, but I'm determined to do it. Though it might sound a bit crazy, my goal with it is to actually have readers prefer it to the actual third season of the show. Just to let you know, I'm a very determined person and I always accomplish what I set out to do, so basically, I feel really good about saying that you'll enjoy reading it. Their will be an extensive explanation of it as an introduction because I'm going to stop rambling about this now.

Oh, and fun fact, two friends of mine actually got engaged the way Logan and Dana did, so it can be done.

Again, if you have any questions about anything feel free to contact me in any way. My e-mail address is my AIM screen name (which is on my profile) with after it.

I would appreciate any type of comments or criticism you would like to share so **PLEASE REVIEW**.

**It was incredibly satisfying to finally finish this, but also very sad. I have absolutely loved writing this story and I hope you've enjoyed reading it. **

**Eternally your, **

**Hopeless Romantic 86 **


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